I came in to work one Saturday. My first time in the office on an off day. Just figured I’d get a little work done.
Computer wouldn’t let me log in. Being smart, I recognized the early signs of being fired and decided I’d get ahead of it. I couldn’t get fired again. It would just destroy my career.
So I resigned. On Monday there was so much confusion. Management was so confused, they were like “we thought it was going well”. I had some cover story about why I was quitting, because I didn’t want to admit I was just trying to interrupt a firing with my own resignation sorcery.
Finally I realized the pained looks on their faces were real. Luckily, I was finally honest about what my reasons were. Turns out IT was doing some work on my computer, and had temporarily disabled my account. Or something like that.
Anyway it just about the most ridiculous comedy of errors I’ve been in. I feel so bad for my employers. They were like “But what?? We thought it was going great”.
After discovering I had thought I might be on the verge of being let go, they resolved to be more clear about how much they valued me.
Gee you look an awful lot like a guy who used to work here. But I guess you’re not him. Now, on these business cards do you want it to just say McLovin?