like you know you’re a good person at heart but life circumstances and trauma and bullying and etc prevented you from learning the proper social skills to find companionship. not necessarily a forum to actually find friends (i find going into things with that intention feels fake and weird), but rather a forum to commiserate...
We’re talking about a vacation this summer so we can plan ahead. My mother (who will pay for it) said she’d love to go to Yellowstone, but it looks like it’s about a 24-hour drive for us. Still, I like the idea of going to a national park. We’re in Indiana, so this image shows about the limits of where we’re willing to...
I’m in my 40s and have just recently achieved “having my own place” for the first time in my life, and it’s so incredible.
I love having a sanctuary, a place that I am guaranteed to be able to unwind.
For the first couple months after I moved in here, any time a door would slam in the building, I’d think “Oh darn they’re home”.
Because my whole life before this, alone time was something I got when whoever I was living with happened to be out. I therefore couldn’t control the alone time, and it could end without warning at any time. I’d be in my unwinding phase, recuperating from life and social contact, and then slam the front door would close and my mom, or my roommate, or whoever, would be home.
So now, my favorite part of the day is when my commute is over, and I open the door to my apartment, and it’s just so … mine. Like every aspect of the place is a reflection of a decision I made. I finally have a home.
For reasons I may not disclose freely on the internet. I am going to celebrate new years eve this year by myself. Does anyone know of ways to solitarily celebrate new years eve?...
Do you game on xbox by any chance? I’m spending this NYE alone because I’m generally a hermit/loser. So I’m probably gonna smoke weed like chimney and play battlefield 2042, must like I do most nights.
You could join in, if you’d like.
I’ve considered going out alone, trying to meet some people. But it’s just so sad.
For 2023 I made a resolution, for the first time since the 90s. The resolution was to have $5000 in the bank.
I pushed hard, got up to about $3500, then my housing situation changed and I had to pay higher rent. The savings rate become quite low assuming perfect discipline. I don’t have perfect discipline so my savings rate was just a couple hundred a month.
After the moving expenses I’m back down then slowly up to about $2k in the bank.
Overall, I failed to reach the $5k, but it did change my relationship with money in a major way. Until this year, until I decided to make savings my top priority, I was always living paycheck to paycheck. I’m 41. This has been my entire adult life: worrying about whether I’ll make the next round of bills. Often asking for extensions on my rent. Paying lots of late fees.
This year is the first time I’ve lived with any kind of financial surplus. When my rent is due I don’t even check my balance I just pay it. All the other bills are on auto. It’s such an amazing feeling.
So that was last year. This coming year my goal is to be present for people. I’ve lost too many friendships from neglect on my part. And Ive passed up too many opportunities to connect, because I wanted to maintain my freedom.
My whole life Ive separated myself, doing everything I can to cut ties and maintain flexibility. My resolution this year is to stay present for the people in my life, to commit to and fulfill some social obligations. To stop worrying so much about how I feel and focus more on what I can do for people.
My kiddo and I are having a fruit and vegetable challenge. Each month we’ll seek out a fruit or vegetable we’ve never tried and taste it. My BFF is trying to walk all the greenways in our county (that is county not country, low stakes! Attainabl!). How about you?
You have what is called an “addiction”. An addiction is a self-destructive behavior you can’t control. Or rather, that you can control but not with the normal ease at which you normally control your own actions.
There’s two ways out of an addiction. One is far more effective than the other.
The method that’s more effective short term, but less effective long term, is willpower. Just force yourself to hold off on those treats. Wait five minutes, then dig in. Next time, try waiting six minutes. Just brute force your way out of the behavior.
The method that is less immediately effective, but far more effective long term, is to heal your psychological trauma so that moment-to-moment consciousness is not painful. This will remove the base motivation for pleasure-seeking, making that junk food mildly attractive, but nothing more.
In my own experience with addiction, brute forcing an addiction merely leads to another addiction forming. The only lasting addiction relief I’ve gotten in my life is from deep psychotherapeutic work, with men’s groups, with zen training, with individual therapy, and with native american healing ceremonies.
If your addiction were to alcohol or crack or something else that debilitated you, I’d recommend starting with the brute force method just to get breathing room. But a junk food addiction is more subtle, and doesn’t immediately debilitate you, so my recommendation is to go for the trauma healing strategy.
However, if your job is at all in danger, then I recommend the brute force method to begin with, because the inflammation caused by junk food will affect your job performance and if there’s any danger of losing your job then you need to take immediate action to protect it.
I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t....
I think Facebook, with its (ostensible) emphasis on real-world connections, is a good place to start.
It was the first social media platform I ever used.
Social media is bad for your mental health. So as you add social media to your life, also add self cate routines like copious exercise, meditation, real-world social contact, etc.
Wow, by now you must have quite a large collection of Guiness stuff. I wonder if your collection is the biggest collection of Guiness stuff in the world.
I rented a Corolla to driver Uber with. What I did for liking songs on spotify was memorize where I’d have to rest my hand in terms of landmarks outside the screen on the dash, so that just dropping my finger down would tap on the heart to like a song.
A series of experiences that I will not relate as I have zero evidence for has convinced me with visceral certainty that we are all immortal.
The thing I fear is the fact that death does exist, but only objectively. This means that for each of us who is going to live forever, that doesn’t mean everyone around us will.
I mean, it doesn’t mean they’re guaranteed to. Hopefully whatever narrative the universe produces that leads to the indefinite extension of our consciousness, will involve things that also make others around us able to extend their lives alongside us.
So we don’t have to be alone, for eternity.
Eventually, each of us will be alone. It’s just statistics. Infinite time, and eventually the improbable will happen. The narrative will continue to evolve into eventually being a narrative which produces the survival of one person, or one conscious entity of whatever kind it needs to be to survive for billions of years.
My guess is at that point, the narrative will have evolved into that entity being a god. Then that god will create a multitude of new people and try its best to let them be free.
Just thinking out loud here. This is all new to me.
So basically in order to not be alone, the eternally-surviving consciousness spawns new separate consciousnesses. And the cycle repeats. Crazy.
Is there a forum for people who are lonely and sad but specifically not incel sickos?
like you know you’re a good person at heart but life circumstances and trauma and bullying and etc prevented you from learning the proper social skills to find companionship. not necessarily a forum to actually find friends (i find going into things with that intention feels fake and weird), but rather a forum to commiserate...
Which of the U.S. national parks in this image do you think is the most worth visiting? There are three exceptions. (lemmy.world)
We’re talking about a vacation this summer so we can plan ahead. My mother (who will pay for it) said she’d love to go to Yellowstone, but it looks like it’s about a 24-hour drive for us. Still, I like the idea of going to a national park. We’re in Indiana, so this image shows about the limits of where we’re willing to...
What is your favorite part of the day?
30 December 2023 (sh.itjust.works)
I am to celebrate new years eve alone. How can I celebrate solo?
For reasons I may not disclose freely on the internet. I am going to celebrate new years eve this year by myself. Does anyone know of ways to solitarily celebrate new years eve?...
It's beautiful (startrek.website)
what are your fun, low stakes new year resolutions?
My kiddo and I are having a fruit and vegetable challenge. Each month we’ll seek out a fruit or vegetable we’ve never tried and taste it. My BFF is trying to walk all the greenways in our county (that is county not country, low stakes! Attainabl!). How about you?
How to stop eating junk food?
I am eating too much junk and processed food while watching movies and youtube videos. I want to stop as it affects my health. Any suggestions.
After a lifetime against, I'm considering joining social media. Any advice?
I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t....
Mr. B-OO-Z-E (lemmy.zip)
what, in your opinion, drives the start time of factory and manufacturing jobs to 5am?
Is it a about money? Is it a bragging rights thing? Is it a leftover of years gone by?
How much does the original book have to change to be considered fanfiction?
How many per cent of the text needs to be changed?
Mayo, mustard or ketchup?
Choose wisely.
What is a nifty little feature modern gadgets have lost? (lemmy.world)
For me it’s the notification light you used to find on older phones, was particularly good to know if your phone was charged without picking it up
What has been the best thing that has happened to you so far?
Either by choice or sheer luck. What is something that has happened to you that made your life actively better?...