While agree with this sentiment, it is important to note that many tasks in school do not enrich the student as a person and their capabilities, but are mundane and/or repetitive failures of a badly designed curriculum. I can absolutely understand why students would want to automate such exercises.
Upvote for partial agreement, but why the attack on atheism? It’s not extreme to not believe, in fact, it sounds utterly ridiculous that you want moderate or liberal people to believe a little bit in fairy tales, but not too much. There simply is no middle ground with regard to religion, either you delude yourself or you accept the obvious implausibility, lack of evidence and irrationality inherent to them.
I think that your priorities are horrible. If the things you listed are enough to get you to abandon GNU/Linux, then FOSS might really not be for you. Also, you describe yourself as tech savvy, but I find that doubtful judging from the experiences you recounted and the non-technical way in which you write.
The problem is not Android. It is as open as any other Linux distribution. The problem is that manufacturers make the drivers for their hardware proprietary.
Not plausible. You are either lying or lack the skill and experience for handling your system, the latter of which would be okay if you were to admit it.