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solitaire, (edited ) to asklemmy in What salary do you think would make you happy?
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I reckon I’d have severely diminishing returns past 6 figures, and I would (and do) trade income for less hours with a better work environment well before that.

solitaire, to asklemmy in After a lifetime against, I'm considering joining social media. Any advice?
@solitaire@infosec.pub avatar

LinkedIn isn’t a terrible idea if you just want to come up in search results. It’s quite useful for a lot of different professions for networking. You’d likely just make a profile and never look at it again.

Facebook can be almost mandatory depending on where you live. I currently live in a city where Facebook is the only meaningful source of networking, local news and information on events online. It’s not uncommon for businesses, even quite larger ones, to have their only media presence online be a Facebook page. The city is also kind of infamously hard to break into socially so you want any advantage you can get.

I don’t currently have any social media but it’s become a hindrance and I might need to reactivate. I end up using social media by proxy through family and friends anyway.

solitaire, to asklemmy in What’s your go to driving song?
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solitaire, to star_wars in Just saw this picture with "good Disney Star Wars", do you agree?
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Ahsoka was a meh for me. I didn’t hate it, but all the live action stuff of her has been really disappointing. Becoming a Jedi again just feels like wasted potential and cheapens the most interesting thing her character ever did.

solitaire, to asklemmy in What movie or book had the biggest impact on you this year?
@solitaire@infosec.pub avatar

It’s kind of been a shallow year for both books and movies in terms of impact on me. That’s not to say it’s been a bad year for them, but it’s mostly been just ‘enjoyable’.

That said, it was probably Radicalized by Cory Doctorow. It’s a collection of four novellas that follow different characters pushed into different kinds of extremist action. The one where people start murdering health insurers was particularly heavy.

solitaire, (edited ) to asklemmy in How to respond to gf saying "I'm fat"
@solitaire@infosec.pub avatar

Nah, you’ve fallen in to a classic trap for men. Even though the answer could be correct under different framing, it’s not always okay. The framing matters.

So if she said would you still love me if i was the size of a whale

In this example, the underlying insecurity is about you. She’s worried you’ll leave her if she’s not always at her best. Thus just saying yes provides helps solve the core issue. To be honest it’s not a perfect answer, but it’s fine.

gf saying “I’m fat”

In this one, the insecurity is not (just) about you. Most likely she’s worried about how other people perceive her, or how she perceives herself. Men often assume any concern someone puts into their appearance is for their partner or for finding one, but it’s not. Saying you’ll love her even if she is fat does not address the underlying insecurity. In fact, it implies she is fat and heightens what she is worried about.

I would advise a hug or something for immediate reassurance and then asking her some gentle questions to gauge what she’s really worried about if you’re not sure. Literally, “hey what brought this on?”. Maybe with a “you look great” leading into it first.

Although when she asks you would you still love her if she was a worm, the correct answer is yes.

Better to put it back reframed in more direct terms, showing you understand the underlying insecurity, but dodging having to be dishonest about the fact her being a worm obviously would change things. Then lighten the mood with a joke.

solitaire, to star_wars in Just saw this picture with "good Disney Star Wars", do you agree?
@solitaire@infosec.pub avatar

I fell asleep during Solo lmao

solitaire, to star_wars in Just saw this picture with "good Disney Star Wars", do you agree?
@solitaire@infosec.pub avatar

I have to be honest, I forgot about Rebels. By the end of Season 2 it started putting out some real bangers. Don’t blame anyone for not being into a kids adventure staring a brat with a laser slingshot, but I enjoyed it more than I did the Bad Batch.

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