nytimes.com

ChonkyOwlbear, (edited ) to mensliberation in Opinion | Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like.

A big part is diminishing religiosity. There is little point in getting married if you aren’t religious. Thanks to progress made by LGBT couples, most of the legal benefits of marriage are shared by domestic partnerships. Traditionalists on the left and the right make a big deal of this, but it is of negligible factual importance.

dumples,
@dumples@kbin.social avatar

I don't think most people who get married do it for religious reasons or even to start a family in the US anymore. People do it since they see it a formal a commitment and want to announce their love in public.

mumblerfish,

That only covers one angle, if people do it for religious reasons, not if they don’t do it because of religion. I’m not getting married, and the religious connotations of even a secular wedding is a significant chunk of why.

Jimmyeatsausage,

There’s also a million legal reasons to get married… If there weren’t, same sex marriage would probably have never made it to the Supreme Court. Everything from insurance coverage, employment benefits, credit rating, child custody, transfer of property following death, medical decisions, and a bunch of other very secular, very important benefits are conferred via legal marriage.

CleoTheWizard,
@CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world avatar

Is there any way to adapt this better for polyamorous people? I have poly friends that got around it by choosing a primary partner and marrying them, but that seems like a bad solution in the long term.

dumples,
@dumples@kbin.social avatar

I don't think that is going to be happening for a long time. It took decades for gays and lesbians. The marrying of a primary partner is the best solution so far.

Donkter,

I’m pretty sure it’s pretty clear that the slight increase in domestic partnerships over marriage does not shore up the declining marriage rates.

Binthinkin, to upliftingnews in New York City Moves to Ban Solitary Confinement, Defying Mayor Adams

When you are running a prison with profits in mind, less staff and automating solitary confinement seems like a good solution.

Less staff means more solitary and more automated procedures. Means less care for inmates.

Personally I would pay more to rehab the inmates so they never have to return to those shit holes.

But for some non-magical reason these leaders are dumb assholes.

menemen,
@menemen@lemmy.world avatar

But for some non-magical reason these leaders are dumb assholes.

Lol, they aren’t t dumb, they are psychopaths who don’t care.

Zoboomafoo, to upliftingnews in Cats Filled the Prison. Then the Inmates Fell in Love.

I hope they have plans to replace the cat population now that they’ve sterilized all of them, it sounds like they’re doing good

bdonvr, to news in I.R.S. to Begin Trial of Its Own Free Tax-Filing System

Ooh, I’m in one of those states. I’ll use this out of principle even though I don’t have too many issues with FreeTaxUSA

Strawberry,

I used FreeTaxUSA last year and after I entered all the info and had everything finished they said “cool we’ll file federally for free but if you want us to file your state tax then it’s gonna cost you like $30” and I gave in

AndrasKrigare,

The article is only talking about federal as well. The IRS doesn’t do anything with state taxes, so that’ll probably still cost money unless your state makes their own free solution.

Strawberry,

true

:(

ConstableJelly, to feminism in Texas Supreme Court Rules Against Woman Who Sought Court-Approved Abortion

Non-paywalled article from ABC

"Under the law, it is a doctor who must decide that a woman is suffering from a life-threatening condition during a pregnancy, raising the necessity for an abortion to save her life or to prevent impairment of a major bodily function,” the opinion read. “The law leaves to physicians—not judges—both the discretion and the responsibility to exercise their reasonable medical judgment, given the unique facts and circumstances of each patient.”

What a ridiculous acknowledgement in a decision that overturned a doctor’s judgment. Just appalling across the board.

Hisnitch,

It’s not really an acknowledgement, it’s more of a threat. With how the ruling went, it’s implicit understanding that says “We honestly don’t care, don’t try because if you do, we’ll make sure you get the chair.” Doctors can’t do jack and I bet you that if this ruling is used as precedent, they are going to use to start justifying why people who need healthcare the most should just die…

Huh, that sounds little familiar. Kind of like a life decider… no, that’s not quite it. I’m sure it will come to me later.

PaddleMaster,

It’s a dark time when the law tells a Doctor they could perform a life saving procedure, but afterwards will need to defend their action in court.

Darn those Obamacare death panels (/s if that wasn’t clear…)

It’s a terrifying timeline to be a woman. Or anyone else who isn’t a white, straight, Christian man.

raccoona_nongrata, (edited )
@raccoona_nongrata@beehaw.org avatar

It’s so they can maintain the chilling effect of the catch-22. The doctor doesn’t want to make the call because they’re not in a position to parse such vague legal language that can’tjust be overruled by a malicious judge, but then the lawyers and judges are like “Oh, well I’m not a doctor, don’t ask me.”

It’s bullshit, but it’s working exactly as intended.

wrath-sedan, to upliftingnews in California Is Free of Extreme Drought Conditions for the First Time in 3 Years
@wrath-sedan@kbin.social avatar

Alex Hall, a professor of atmospheric and oceanic science at the University of California, Los Angeles, said that dry and wet weather events have been made worse, or “juiced,” by climate change.
“The net effect is we do have much deeper extremes,” Dr. Hall said. “It’s boomier and bustier. People have used the word ‘whiplash’ before.”

When your climate change-induced natural disasters cancel each other out.

Drusas, to news in I.R.S. to Begin Trial of Its Own Free Tax-Filing System

Couple decades too late is better than never.

Franzia, to upliftingnews in Anheuser-Busch Says It Has Stopped Amputating Tails of Budweiser Clydesdales

What the fuck… I am not uplifted by this news. This is a seriously low bar for good news. It’s gross that they have been doing this.

Coreidan, to mensliberation in Opinion | Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like.

“Ask women what dating is like”. Good idea if you want a biased one sided opinion.

This article is vomit.

forrgott,

Ask a woman what dating is like. You, personally. I dare you.

Only issue is, clearly you won’t listen to their answer.

HikingVet,

Well, considering dating takes at least 2 people (depending on how you live your life, and yes non-monagamy and polyamory are vaild), asking only one group is incredibly biased.

dangblingus,

You… missed the point of the article completely.

HikingVet, (edited )

Please explain how this isn’t a bigoted point of view

Ms. Kearney, for example, acknowledges that improving men’s economic position, especially men without college degrees, is an important step toward making them more attractive partners.

Coreidan,

Odd take. You do realize that a relationship is about TWO people right? It’s not all about you. Shocker right?

Dkarma,

Yes and one of those ppl is statistically more likely to kill the other. How are u so dense u don’t get his point.

Yes a relationship is 2 people. That’s not relevant here. If one person is shit why do both people need to “work on things”

News flash… They don’t.

Coreidan,

So your argument is that men as a whole aren’t dateable because an extreme minority of them are unhinged and go on school shootings? Huh?

You hate men. We get it.

Dkarma,

I’m a man u fucking doughnut for brains.

Coreidan, (edited )

And all you can muster up is hate and insults.

This is why you’re not taken seriously. In other words you’ve shown how completely irrational you are. No point trying to have a rational conversation with someone so completely out of line and irrational.

Best of luck to you.

HikingVet,

Self hate is a thing that exists.

dangblingus,

No. Most men are undateable because theyre in a constant state of arrested development and our society rewards brash pomposity.

Coreidan,

But women aren’t undateable. They are all perfect

👍

AFaithfulNihilist,
@AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world avatar

There is a widespread, socially disruptive, and sometimes life threatening epidemic of unfuckable dudes.

There are challenges with expectations and entitlements on all sides, but the unfuckable dudes are not rising to meet the challenges.

Coreidan, (edited )

What about all the unfuckable women? Again you look at everything one sided.

Both sexes need to get better. You’re saying that it’s all up to the men. In other words what you’re saying is women don’t have to be responsible for anything, they can act any way they want. A very entitled and selfish attitude.

Did you ever consider that this toxic mentality DRIVES AWAY the good men? Maybe good men want nothing to do with you because of your mentality. That leaves only the toxic men to put up with your bullshit, so that’s all you see.

AFaithfulNihilist,
@AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world avatar

They aren’t shooting up night clubs, marauding through cities, or lashing out violently out of sexual frustration and a lack of purpose.

Men are doing those things. Look, I get that ‘both sides’ impulse, but unfuckable women don’t pose an existential risk to society, and to be honest, women have to be pretty far gone to qualify as unfuckable.

Angry women aren’t as violent or dangerous as angry men, and the social validation most men are cultured to seek through income, physical prowess, and social success is not as accessible as it once was.

When I was little I noticed that all the father’s were just absent. It seemed to me then that the role of ‘dad’ had been demoted to a placeholder and was existentially diminished in terms of meaning and value. This has a deleterious effect on the sense of purpose of many young men, myself included, but it doesn’t have to define us.

Women are seizing an opportunity for their own self actualization from the oppressive society we live in to find purpose and meaning. Maybe some more men need to do the same.

Coreidan, (edited )

Yikes. You have deep issues.

The thing is no one is arguing that men don’t suck. Plenty of men out there are garbage.

What you’re glossing over is the fact that women have lots of issues as well. There is no shortage of psycho women with deep issues.

Go talk to a “good” man and get their perspective on dating. You’ll get a different picture and you’ll see women are chock full of their own issues. It’s just a different flavor.

The problem is you’ll never do that because you hate men and have no interest in a genuine conversation. Instead it’s all “woe is me, all men suck”.

If you can’t find a good man, it’s not that they don’t exist, but rather you don’t attract them. Maybe work on your attitude and you won’t come off as toxic with tons of baggage and maybe then they will give you a shot.

AFaithfulNihilist, (edited )
@AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world avatar

I like to think that I am a good man, and I know my girlfriend is a good woman.

I know that I wasn’t really ready for the seriousness of relationship some of my ex’s wanted with me and I had to grow up, but I also remember frustrations with some of them not being mature and self reliant enough to be a reliable partner.

I am very fortunate to be on good terms and friendly with many of my previous partners, and I’m lucky to have been in love several times in my life. I know I am a better person because of the love I have shared and that which has been shared with me.

I’ve seen shitty groups of women do things I thought only happened in strawman arguments, like protest a college club of minority men sharing legal and social resources relevant to their community because ‘mens rights is anti feminist’ or other nonsense. I have also seen men joke about vaginal credit card and bitch about their own odious unfuckablity in the same breath.

People can be shitty, that doesn’t mean you need to make assumptions about them. If you give most people a chance, they will tell you who they are.

Coreidan, (edited )

The TLDR is that not every one sucks and some times you need to give people a chance.

No disagreement there, but I am not seeing how this aligns with the discussion we are having.

At the end of the day not everyone sucks. Putting all of the blame on one sex is disingenuous. Both men and women can be fucked up. There are plenty of good men struggling to find good women. There are plenty of good women struggling to find good men. The world is chock full of assholes for both sexes.

It works both ways but you’re only looking in one direction. Based on everything you said in your last post it sounds a lot like you agree with me, you just don’t want to admit it.

Dkarma,

What about unfuckable women? Do men ever feel threatened by them to the point of feari g for their lives???

You pretend this is one sided but it is literally not the same for women dating as it is for men.

To believe otherwise is incredibly ignorant.

The vast majority of men never consider physical violence against them in a relationship.

The good men arent afraid to admit that men in general need to do a lot better job of respecting women.

You claim: "In other words what you’re saying is women don’t have to be responsible for anything, they can act any way they want. "

No one is saying this. You assumed this. Your assumption is simply incorrect.

This is the definition of a strawman. You’re fitting an argument the other person never made.

Coreidan,

This is the definition of a strawman. You’re fitting an argument the other person never made.

Except this thread is chock full of you all doing this exact thing.

Listen, nothing will change that there are shitty men out there. Nothing will change that there are also shitty women out there. If you can’t find a decent guy it isn’t because they don’t exist, it’s because YOU aren’t attracting them. This is a YOU problem.

Dkarma,

Only it isnt and you’re projecting cuz UK you’re completely wrong.

Coreidan, (edited )

Projecting? More like you’re deflecting.

You’re the hateful one here. You’re the angry one. You need a nap.

Dkarma,

Oh really what did I say that is hateful? You’re still projecting 100% or you just can’t read haha.

HikingVet,

Biggest issue with the article. NO male voices, and it’s repeating the same lines I have heard since the mid 00’s.

Now I acknowledge that there hasn’t been much movement on the dating front, but men are only half the problem, as they are only half the population.

They would change in a hurry as a group if they needed to, but men aren’t a monolith and neither are women.

You want men to be better, be better yourself. The article is garbage by saying men need to step up while not talking to them about the issues they face in the dating world. ESPECIALLY if they aren’t Hetronormative.

forrgott,

So, men are only a problem because…women are the problem?

Wow.

Fuck’s sake, worry about yourself. You want better? Deserve it. Or not, and settle for less. Whatever.

HikingVet, (edited )

An article that wonders why people aren’t getting married says they went out and only asked one side what the problem was. 🤔

Doesn’t even seem balanced…

Edit: as a romance favourable aroace, the dating world was a nightmare, even if you do everything “right”. Which is why I no longer look to find companionship.

Do better or not, there are garbage people in all genders and the prevailing “men bad” when it comes to dating is just as toxic as what the men are doing.

The article also doesn’t suggest any possible solutions.

vikinghoarder, to news in As Gazans Scrounge for Food and Water, Hamas Sits on a Rich Trove of Supplies

Might be a move to gather more fighters: “Need food for your family? Join the fight and they will be fed”

silence7,

Pretty cynical when Hamas and Islamic Jihad could release the hostages and surrender and end all the fighting instead of giving people a choice over how they die

jarfil,

Ideological groups usually put increasing their following, before the wellbeing of those who don’t follow them.

sqgl, (edited )

What stops Israel from doing a deal by offering to remove settlers from the West Bank?

silence7,

Mostly concern that it weakens their position militarily. Get a genuine willingness for peace from a posr-Hamas Palestinain government and some sort of land-for-peace becomes thinkable

sqgl,

Do you mean weakens the Hamas position militarily? Or do you mean weakens the Israeli position militarily?

I understand WB is Fatah controlled who are more inclined towards a 2SS which is why Bibi supported Hamas (until it backfired on Oct 7).

I also read a Reddit comment about how taking land from settlers and returning it to Palestinians would make the border larger and Israel more vulnerable but I don’t understand how that is so.

silence7,

Total return weakens Israel. Basically because it leaves the country as a fairly narrow strip that’s easily cut apart in an attack.

Getting land in the west Bank returned means significant security concessions from whatever government is left. Last time this was tried it led to Hamas winning an election

sqgl,

Hamas won an election in the West Bank?

sqgl,

Doesn’t explain taking over Palestinian houses in the West Bank.

captain_aggravated, to upliftingnews in Anheuser-Busch Says It Has Stopped Amputating Tails of Budweiser Clydesdales
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works avatar

Anhauser-Busch announces that until recently it routinely amputated its horses tails for some stupid reason.

There, I fixed the title.

scrubbles, to feminism in Texas Supreme Court Rules Against Woman Who Sought Court-Approved Abortion
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

In America you don’t have the freedom to ask a doctor for their opinion for you and your baby. You have to go through the government first.

BadEngineering, to upliftingnews in F.D.A. Approves First Ever U.S. Over-the-Counter Birth Control Pill

I'm so happy they explained how the price of the pill affects the cost of the pill. I never would have figured it out on my own.

stevehobbes,

Did they edit the story? I didn’t see that part.

eco,

The sub headline is:

The price of the pill, which has not been announced, will determine how affordable it will be when it becomes available in early 2024.

stevehobbes,

Interestingly, the actual article talks more about the impact of OTC medications not being covered by insurance. Which is a pretty big drawback.

qyron, to news in I.R.S. to Begin Trial of Its Own Free Tax-Filing System

Americans: demand from your government the responsibility to handle your taxes directly.

I’m in the EU, from a small country, and all tax forms have to be filed through government tax authority servers, running state designed programs.

I can hire a legion of accountants, a lawyer firm and third party to represent me and still everything will still go through the same channels.

Or I can simply use that same program, through the same website, with my secure credentials, and file my own taxes for free, calling the tax department whenever I have doubts on what I’m doing.

demand that your taxes supply you with the government services it supports

WarmSoda, (edited ) to upliftingnews in Cats Filled the Prison. Then the Inmates Fell in Love.

This article again.

The prison is horribly overcrowded, but that’s ok. Look - cats!

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