asklemmy

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omey, in What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?

Me: having a hard time mentally and emotionally Someone: “You need to pray to God to make your troubles go away.”

Anonymouse,

Am I supposed to upvote this because it’s awful advice or downvote it because it’s depressing advice?

It seems like this person either had success with their advice or had nothing to say, but felt the need to say something.

My favorite advice for clinical depression is “just snap out of it.”

Dr_Cog,
@Dr_Cog@mander.xyz avatar

Is it inappropriate or off topic? Then you downvote.

Anything else? Upvote or abstain

ZombieTheZombieCat,

“Nothing happens in god’s world by mistake.” “God never gives you more than you can handle.” Etc etc.

When 1 in 6 women has been sexually assaulted in their lives (and many men and NB folks), that’s a really fucked up thing to say. You never know what someone’s been through, and I’ve personally been through a lot of awful things. I guess it helps some people to tell themselves this kind of shit, but it is impossible to me to think of any kind of meaning that would make being a victim of violent crime “positive” or “worth it” or “a learning experience” blah blah blah. I think the term for that is “toxic positivity.”

So either “everything happens for a reason” is utter bullshit, or god is a sadistic fucking asshole.

NotYourSocialWorker,

I’m a Christian but I support the school of thought that says “shit happens”.

Another problem with the thinking “everything happens for a reason” is that it can lead to belief in “the just world”. When one thinks that life is fair you start to believe that bad things only happens to bad people, ie they deserve it.

Jellojiggle, in What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?

“Just have one or two and then stop” when telling a friend I’m an alcoholic. Well shit, thanks! That never even crossed my mind!

TheHalc,

Which would inevitably be followed by “Just one more can’t hurt!”…

I hope you’re doing better now.

Jellojiggle,

That is absolutely what follows. I am doing MUCH better, I’ve had 2.5 years sober in the last 3 years because I thought I was “cured” and started “moderating” last summer. The stop drinking subreddit was amazing insight and help. It’s on lemmy but the only posts are the daily checkin. I should start being more active on it to boost it.

BeMoreCareful,

It’s more a question of how many times it crosses my mind.

Anticorp,

Thanks, I’m cured!

eighty, in What's a quote that has stuck with you for your whole life?

If you want to travel fast, go alone; but if you want to travel far, go together.

It’s one of those African proverbs with an unknown origin but their emphasis on community has always been a guiding principle for me.

tryagain,

Love this

dudebro,

I like that, a lot.

StoicLime, in I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?
@StoicLime@lemmy.world avatar

We finally got shitposting on Lemmy, lessfgo!

eyy,

shitposting

C'mon read the whole thing man, its a no-shit post.

taladar,

No shit, Sherlock.

quadrotiles, in What is the most unhelpful advice you have received?

The usual acne related ones, like washing my face more or using tooth paste on my spots. Turns out clearasil won’t fix your hormones.

Use olive oil instead of sun screen because it works better than SPF and isn’t full of chemicals.

When taking a taxi on a short stop over in Dubai, the taxi driver told me not to have blue hair (which I had) or no man will ever want me, while my then boyfriend was also sitting in the taxi, masquerading as my husband (we were wearing rings and just letting people assume we were married, which everyone did. Including the taxi driver!)

Work related: don’t make my code too “complicated” or my one coworker can’t understand it (read: my coworker doesn’t know what async means, and instead of him learning, I’m just not ever meant to do anything async… When processing huge amounts of data… Also, error handling is too hard, don’t do that either) yes, I will forever be salty about this. He deleted weeks worth of work while I had covid because he didn’t even try to understand it - his reasoning being “it doesn’t work anyway, so there’s no point in understanding or learning what I’m doing”

donslaught,

Where do you work that allows someone to just delete someone else’s work all willy-nilly? If someone did that to my code I’d be PISSED.

nik282000,
@nik282000@lemmy.ml avatar

^a

Del

^s

Fixed your code :D

donslaught,

D:

hinterlufer,

ggdG:wq

CoderKat,

I like reading vim commands as if they were spoken. “Good game daddy girl colon wanna quit” (idk)

teawrecks,
ours,

Someone did that to my whole project. I had catefully migrated all the source control to a new and improved system. Out boss decided which project went into which organization.

Some idiot went and intentionally deleted a project I was meant to do maintenance because he had decided all by himself that it wasn’t meant to be there.

I had to do a long train ride to the idiot’s office for a training and when he told me what he did (proudly!) I gave him the sort of verbal bollocking I have never done before or since.

To the point where he contacted our boss to complain. I got a call from my boss to excuse himself on behalf of the idiot.

majestictechie,

Wow that last bit sucks. I’m assuming you don’t use GIT and could roll back your changes or fork it from a previous point.

I think that would push me over the edge.

quadrotiles,

I typed a long reply, forgot to hit send and my reply is gone lol

But yeah, we actually do use git. I was brought into the team to be the git “expert” of the team. But while I was away, not only did he delete my work, he replaced it with something that can’t work in the long term and then presented it to my boss, stake holder equivalent and the non-technical testers as the final version. His implementation was “finished”, mine was not and I was too angry to look at his work. So in the end, I made it crystal clear that this can never happen again and I made it super clear to everyone involved in the project that my responsibility lies in the X part, and if someone needs something done for the Y part, they are to go to my co-worker. So like a clear division of responsibility.

I also don’t have the time to un-fuck up his work. I asked him to integrate certain parts of the original implementation, but he threw a tantrum and yelled that I have no right to tell him what to do. (Ok but even if I were telling him what to do, I have 6 years of experience and a CS degree on his 1 year and no formal training, so like…)

lungdart,
@lungdart@lemmy.ca avatar

A game changer I had for acne as a teen was putting a new towel on my pillow every night. My pillow was likely riddled with Cutibacterium acnes from sleeping with acne.

It helped another friend with an acne problem as well.

Mind you that bacteria isn’t always the cause of acne, but it’s worth trying this trick for any people out there going through it.

SharkEatingBreakfast,

Yeah, my painful acne lasted far into adulthood. Found out it was 100% hormonal and finally got on something to treat it.

There’s a lot of things that can cause acne.

ZombieTheZombieCat,

Same. The amount of times I’ve heard “have you tried Proactiv?” as though it wasn’t the first thing I went and bought when I was 15 is just aggravating. The fact that not even doctors seem to know much about the internal causes of acne and how to treat it is really just embarrassing.

I’ve also heard the “change your pillowcase” thing far too often. If your pillowcase is so dirty that it’s the one thing that stands between you having acne and not having acne, then it sounds like you might have bigger issues lol.

funnyletter,

tho to be fair “change your pillowcase” is probably a decent bit of advice for a lot of teen boys in particular. I knew a lot of guys in college who only washed their sheets once a semester. 🤢 It’s the “Have you tried turning it off and on again?” of acne advice.

quadrotiles, (edited )

That would have been actually useful advice! I actually did start doing that a couple of years ago, and it really did help. It didn’t clear it up, but the acne hasn’t been quite as aggressive since. I also do other things now too, so I’m in a pretty good place for my face skin at last lol

scrubbles, in do you guys shop on places like aliexpress/Temu and if you do what items have pleasantly surprised you?
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

Temu is just driving the social media impulse “buy buy buy you need it buy it now!!” Culture when in reality their stuff is crap, and even for the cheap prices… You probably weren’t going to buy it anyway. They are really striving in being a shitty company that’s bad for us and the planet.

Good video here that explains more of how they’re just manipulating us to buy more: youtu.be/7hGD5Cz_now

JaxiiRuff,
@JaxiiRuff@pawb.social avatar

Their tagline “Shop like a billionaire” makes me sick. Fast fashion and stuff like Temu have become so predatory lately. Fuck FOMO tactics.

scrubbles,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

TikTok and them just fuel each other to create fake fomo and it’s so crappy. They target kids so hard and take advantage of them wanting to fit in, and get them to just spend money on crap they didn’t need to buy anyway. Not to mention they’ve pushed fashion cycles to be faster to make people think that top they bought 2 months ago is useless and should be thrown out.

fiat_lux,

The top from 2 months ago frequently does need to be thrown out, because it's so poorly made it lasts only a couple of washes. Even the waste-pickers in the Ghana landfills don't want it.

luthis,

ClimateTown really drove home how hilariously bad fashion is for basically everyone

yuunikki,

No offense but guilt tripping me doesn’t work. I spend my money on things i like, idc about their personal politics etc.

scrubbles,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

Capitalism in a nutshell. “Yeah it kills the planet and harms others and there may be forced labor involved, but idc, that’s other people’s problems”.

Not guilt tripping btw, just stating facts. I don’t and won’t buy for them.

yuunikki,

That’s fine. You’re free not to.

pickle_party247,

Some things on Temu are complete trash but some are really good for the cash. They have a HUGE range of pin badges for less than a dollar, I’ve seen some of the more expensive ones ($2) sold for $10+ on other marketplaces like Amazon.

RoyaltyInTraining, in What's a quote that has stuck with you for your whole life?
@RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world avatar

When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down… with the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

  • Cave Johnson, Portal 2

Maybe not words to live by, but certainly a memorable quote.

rikudou,
@rikudou@lemmings.world avatar

All of his quotes are just great. My favorite:

All these science spheres are made of asbestos all the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart-stopping. Because that is not part of the test. That’s asbestos…Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of Canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face.

bufordt,
@bufordt@sh.itjust.works avatar

Unbelievable. You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!

0U714W,

Maybe they’re not words to live by – if you’re a coward.

8565, in What can a senior desktop support tech do who is burned out?

When I got burnt out I did a hard turn. I now manage a Turkey Farm and just do IT on the side. Most relaxing decision I've ever made

Elegast,
@Elegast@lemmy.ca avatar

Man that’s a jump. My issue is leaving the fairly good pay. But I think it’s going to need to happen soon.

8565,

I left a Factory IT Admin job and honestly after factoring in my free housing only make 1k less a year than I did in IT. but, I left March 2020 and the factory didn't survive COVID. Glad I jumped that ship

Elegast,
@Elegast@lemmy.ca avatar

That’s interesting. How did you come about finding the job? I’ve done IT my whole life and wouldn’t even know what to look for if not IT.

8565,

It's from the community I grew up in (1 mile from my dad's house where I grew up) so it was posted in a community FB page

ablackcatstail,
@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

That’s pretty cool actually. Wish I were in a position to do something similar but I need my next step to parlay with the base skill set I already have.

8565,

Picking something that doesn't take much prior skill is a very good way out. (Not saying you necessarily should) but, it's very easy. The Farm even provides me with housing and paid me to move so it worked out very well

8565,

If your under 39 and in decent enough shape (and US based) the Space Force is looking for recruits and has plenty of IT jobs available. When I'm ready to get back in to the service that is my plan currently

6jarjar6,
@6jarjar6@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

I thought they were only recruiting from the AF, did they recently open it up more?

8565,

They never were only recruiting from the air force. They were pulling out of the Army as well. But, for at least the last couple years they have been doing public recruiting as well

ablackcatstail,
@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

LOLOLOLO! I am 46, suffer from bipolar disorder, PTSD, and autism. I cannot even qualify for a security clearance, much less go to Space Force. But that much said, I appreciate you reaching out to me. Thanks.

8565,

Hey just trying to offer options lol.

ablackcatstail,
@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

And I truly appreciate it. Thank you. 👍

8565,

I know how getting burnt out feels. It's a rough world out there

ablackcatstail,
@ablackcatstail@lemmy.goblackcat.com avatar

Good god hell yeah it is.

yanyuan,

I’m impressed. To me, managing a Turkey Farm sounds like a lot of work and potentially stress. Isn’t it?

8565,

Almost no stress at all. I have like 1 or two deadlines a month (load out and baby bird arrival) we have 40k birds handled between me and a part time farmhand. Everyday is as easy as walking through barns and picking up dead followed by yard work and maintenance. And once a month I run a litter machine through one of 3 finishers to keep the barns clean. Other than that it's just monitoring bird health which after you get used to it is easy. Most important thing is to keep the birds healthy, comfortable and happy

oats,

keeping them healthy, comfortable and happy until their throats are slit 🥰

dbtonez,
@dbtonez@kbin.social avatar

wouldn't you know it, look who i found...

8565,

Yeah man I'm here lol weird seeing other JB guys out and about

dbtonez,
@dbtonez@kbin.social avatar

the beauty of federation, you'll find us in the weirdest places XD

good to see you, keep on carrying on friend

Semi-Hemi-Demigod,
@Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social avatar

Users are definitely harder to train than turkeys

8565,

Users are so hard. Turkeys you just have to find any way they may kill themselves and fix it before they do

flop_leash_973,

And it is more discouraged to kill and eat the users when they get out of line.

8565,

And they taste worse. Farmhands are also hard to train maybe worse than users

ram, in What password manager do you recommend?
@ram@lemmy.ramram.ink avatar

Bitwarden checks all the boxes. I’ve had great experience with it. bitwarden.com

I will say, auto-fill on load is a bad idea. On desktop I keep my auto-fill bound to a key so it doesn’t actually end up in fields it shouldn’t be.

2FA is locked behind the $10/year premium if that’s something you wanted, but beyond that the free plan has everything 99% of people will use. They do third party security audits, have public white papers, and is completely open source.

hinterlufer,

Email and TOTP 2FA options are available in the free version, YubiKey, FIDO2 and Duo options are only available in the 10$/year premium option.

Moonwalk,
@Moonwalk@lemm.ee avatar

I’m sure they meant TOTP 2FA for the accounts saved in Bitwarden, not for the Bitwarden login itself.

Saintcloud,

I’ve been curious about a Yubikey like option for a bit now. Would you recommend one and if so which type?

dan,
@dan@upvote.au avatar

Get a Yubikey that supports Webauthn and FIDO2. It’s the future of two-factor authentication on the web. At work we use the YubiKey 5C Nano, but I think the entire Yubikey 5 series supports Webauthn.

DuskLoaf,
@DuskLoaf@lemmy.world avatar

Is there much benefit to having access to the 2FA option if I already use RAIVO for 2FA codes.

Interstellar_1,
@Interstellar_1@pawb.social avatar

No, it’s good to have a seperate service for that

Makeshift,

Bitwarden only autofills if the page’s URL is the same as the account in your vault. So it actually helps you make sure that you aren’t putting your info into a phishing site or something

although, I’m pretty sure autofill is disabled by default anyway?

ram,
@ram@lemmy.ramram.ink avatar

Bitwarden only autofills if the page’s URL is the same as the account in your vault. So it actually helps you make sure that you aren’t putting your info into a phishing site or something

This is true, though wasn’t my concern. My concern is that it (and other PW managers ofc) can sometimes fill in fields its not supposed to, and you end up accidentally including a username or password in a GET header.

although, I’m pretty sure autofill is disabled by default anyway?

Auto-fill on page-load is, yes.

techviator, in How do I block all porn/nude posts?
@techviator@infosec.pub avatar

How do I block judgemental assholes?

Hi,

I don’t want to see assholes with low IQ who cannot be bothered to look at the settings and documentation of the apps and websites they use and who’ll judge others based on his own preconceptions and biases.

– People choose to share nudes or go into porn for a very wide variety of reasons, and you should not be assuming anything about their self-esteem, dignity or self-worth, because you don’t know them or anything about them other than they chose a different lifestyle than yours.

It’s ok to not want to see it, you can turn it off in the setting or block the user/instance/domain that may be not properly tagging their adult content, but it is absolutely not ok to judge other users and insult them publicly just because you don’t like their lifestyle.

Max_P,
@Max_P@lemmy.max-p.me avatar

– People choose to share nudes or go into porn for a very wide variety of reasons, and you should not be assuming anything about their self-esteem, dignity or self-worth, because you don’t know them or anything about them other than they chose a different lifestyle than yours.

I have an entire friend group that shares nudes like it’s selfies because for us it’s just body parts like any other and we can admire the beauty of the human body. No feelings of vice or dirtiness involved whatsoever. I can go around seeing naked people and just appreciate the beauty without feeling dirty or even thinking about sexual intercourse and look respectfully. I feel comfortable being naked around my friends, I’ve been around friends literally hooking up next to me, it’s no big deal at all. I’m cute you’re cute, do you wanna sword fight? I’ll happily talk about my sexual life (within respect of privacy of course). I’ll talk you through your kitty issues and not think any differently. It’s healthy in my opinion.

IMO healthy porn exists, there’s a whole world between anti porn and hardcore fetish porn. I see nothing wrong with a casual pair of boobies or a dick.

Some people are indoctrinated by religion to feel like their body is dirty and needs to be hidden away, and feel shame to even think about sex or feel sexually stimulated by anyone but their spouse, and that’s okay if that’s their choice. And for some people it’s just normal life stuff. I personally think religion is harmful and worthless but I don’t go around calling people practicing it low life sheeps with no self worth or sexually frustrated closeted perverts.

Raisin8659,
@Raisin8659@monyet.cc avatar

@remindme in 1 week.

NewEnglandRedshirt, in People who work in food service or customer service: What’s the dumbest thing a customer ever insisted was “the law” or “illegal”?
@NewEnglandRedshirt@lemmy.world avatar

There are, in fact, no products in that empty drawer. I promise I’m not hiding them from you, ma’am.

scrubbles,
@scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech avatar

could you just check the back please?

Sure, I can go play on my phone for 5 minutes while “checking the back”.

Karen look, ‘the back’ only has things we don’t have space for, it isn’t a secret second store we hide stuff from you.

Domille, in Why does Lemmy feel so fresh compared to Reddit?

I feel like people who moved to Lemmy from reddit are really incentivized to help it grow, so I am constantly seeing encouragements for people to interact / upvote / post content, which is great. I think that the community here is very motivated, and so even though there are less people, you get more engagement.

god,
@god@sh.itjust.works avatar

This is a huge part of it. People are in "this is my new home, I'm gonna wash the dishes just this once!". I imagine things will calm down later.

Domille,

yeah, that's pretty much what happened with Mastodon, as far as I can tell. There are still folks there, but it is much quieter now vs when I first joined it.

esty,
@esty@lemmy.ca avatar

i dont feel that its quiet, more that people have settled in, the users that stuck with masto use it religiously just like how people used twitter

swoos,

This

Pmmeyourtoaster,

I've experienced this as well and have enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

lvl100magikarp,

Yep, I try to upvote everything and comment as much as I can. I’m still confused about how to post to specific instances on Jerboa though. Like I’m typing the name but it’s not showing up in the dropdown

The most discouraging thing that happened was that when I wrote a long and thoughtdul comment and press send, Jerboa gives me the “java type blabla” error, and I lost everything I typed. Then I don’t wanna type it again and I just give up on commenting

Hopefully these issues will be fixed soon! As I understand it it’s not even an issue with Jerboa specifically.

Varyag,
@Varyag@lemm.ee avatar

I've gotten to the habit of Ctrl+A and Ctrl+C my comments right before hitting Reply, just in case that happens. Luckily, it's been happening less and less, at least on desktop browser. Hopefully Jerboa gets to that point soon, too.

OtakuAltair, in I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?
@OtakuAltair@lemmy.world avatar

I don't know the answer, but now I can say I was here during the infamous 'Poop post' on Lemmy 10 years from now.

xtremeownage, in So how does lemmy make money?

It doesn’t.

If you are on my instance, for example, its hosted out of my own pocket.

I have a TON of spare compute resources laying around, and I am more than happy to donate them to this cause.

Edit- lets also be perfectly honest- hosting lemmy costs FAR less then it costs me to host plex for friends/family.

Noetic97, in If you could have one small thing as a superpower. What would it be and why?
@Noetic97@lemmy.world avatar

The ability to know exactly where anything I think of is located.

lazylion_ca,

Hoffa?

Noetic97,
@Noetic97@lemmy.world avatar

I’m definitely thinking historic lost treasure hunter would be an amazing career!

Ichi_matsu,

[Breathing Intensifies]

  • Captain Jack Sparrow
VelvetStorm,

You could make some serious money with this power. You could find anyone’s lost pet or keepsake.

Squirrel,
@Squirrel@thelemmy.club avatar

You could also find missing people. This one has serious potential for good. Realistically, though, the CIA (or your country’s equivalent) would take you into custody and force you to do their bidding.

raltoid,

Not to mention the regular occurances of people asking you to locate something they’ve stuck inside themselves.

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