How do you cheer yourself up after a rough day? Or a rough year?
Starting to feel crushed by the weight of the world, riddled with guilt and disappointment in myself over my choices. Nothing I can do about the past though.
What are some of the ways you guys get yourselves out of a bad headspace?
I walk. Short or long walks. Whatever I have time for. Even if I don’t really feel like walking. I find I almost never regret the decision to go. And I almost always return in a better mental state.
Another thing that I like is considering not what I can do to “change my life in a year” but “what can I do tomorrow to improve my life even a little bit right now?”
Instead of getting caught up on larger things that might take years to achieve, if I consider something I can change right now that will make tomorrow a better day, those changes will add up much more quickly and noticeably.
Even if I can’t think of something, that’s fine. I can accept that, and just move on to the next day. The important thing is to ask myself this every day, so that I can give myself the option of making that change and having that reflection.
I read a lot of philosophy until I had an existential crisis, which ironically made me feel worse at first and then better later on, because I realised basically "nothing really matters" and the majority of things that stressed me out are so small. Sure, some stuff has negative consequences for me and messes with my emotions, but even that passes with time and much of it is simply in my head (I got a nice cocktail of ADHD with depression and anxiety and get stuck in feelings of dread and doom).
Well, I also go to therapy, and there I learned to focus on myself and what I need and like, with the goal to either distract myself or enjoy small pleasures. Like I walk to a quiet place somewhere when noise stresses me out or listen to music, I make myself a nice meal or some tea (iced tea in summer) or take a cool shower or sit down to draw something or write comments or talk to a person I like, all those small things that make me feel a bit like "I can live one day longer".
Basically, instead of looking at the world and the things you can‘t change of affect like your past, look only at yourself in the here and now and ask "how could I make this a bit more bearable for myself?" and then I do that. Though there is some limit there like don‘t do drugs (which I DID do, it gave relief, but made me feel much worse over time! just a warning), but even outside of that there is usually something you can do.
Many desires are also artificially induced by marketing and peer pressure and the more I understood that, the less I felt like I had to do x or y or whatever everyone else is doing to be happy. That includes my comment and those of all others by the way, one or more points may resonate with you and help and others may be completely useless to you, what matters most here is finding what works for you and doing more of that. If you try some of this and have a moment where your mind calms down and you feel alright, take note of that and do that again.
Though I‘m not entirely well, this stuff comes back sometimes, but I got a bunch of ways to deal with it now which help me out.
I make a routine to make myself forget about the world for a bit. For me that’s getting a soda and watching a movie/TV show for a couple of hours or playing video games.
I have a plan for what I consider to be my happy place: retirement. Whenever I feel down I look at my plan and consider what small step I could take to get even closer. It helps me step back from the immediate feelings and focus on the longer term goal. No one is going to help me reach my goals. Only I can do that. Accepting this and seeing progress is so satisfyingly empowering.
We are all different; we don’t all respond the same way to the same things but I will share what works for me.
I try to channel that energy into something positive if I can - exercise that little bit harder, put more time and passion into my hobbies.
If that isn’t working I try to dissipate it; listening to heavy metal is my go to. The “heavier” it is the more therapeutic it becomes. Story-driven video games (and the odd first-person shooter or open world mess) can help too.
I have a young family and a family pet; I find that making time to play with them and doing activity with them helps, but even so I sometimes need time to myself to clear my head.
Oddly enough being at work helps too. By the time I’ve fixed someone else’s problems I realise that maybe mine can be fixed too.
I’ve never found that having a treat (food, drink, whatever) worked for me; I end up feeling guilty of the excess and empty afterwards - but I appreciate this works for some.
When all of the above fails - I phone a friend.
All of this is about making space to strip away the emotional burdens and perform a fair analysis of the situation. I’m very solution / results driven so I look for ways of moving forwards.
Well when positive thinking and taking stock of my achievements and thinking about how far ive come doesnt work.
I order way too much pizza, buy just enough alcohol to get somewhat drunk but not so much ill get wasted and maudlin and I watch the shitty 90s comedies I loved as a teenager.
What I typically do is listen to some music. I have a collection of soundtracks from some of my favorite video games. I pick a couple of pieces from the whole collection and let the music lead me through my memories. It’s not too far off from the feeling of going through an old photo album. I imagine one could get a similar effect by returning to any number of things that they used to enjoy.
Listening to music helps me too. Recently I noticed that “sad” music seems to work especially well - something slow, not too intrusive, like Wolfsheim, Deine Lakaien, Anne Clark, … While I listen it allows me to actually experience my emotions, and when I eventually turn off this music it also helps me to “snap out of it” and focus on the next steps in my life (which may just be cleaning the dishes or going for a run).
Trying to bombard my mind with a bunch of random tasks and noise to try and stop the fixation and turn its attention elsewhere until I can sleep and escape into the dream world where hopefully the dreams don’t haunt me either.
Anything beyond that (like actual therapy to deal with the traumas of existing) is honestly too much for me to take on right now, so it's little breaks of calm in the chaos that somehow keep me going. For now.
I get myself a nice little treat and take a break. I treat myself like someone else who I’d try to cheer up
But honestly - sounds like you need a lot more than that if you are feeling all tangled up. It’s helpful to unwind it all. With friends, with a therapist, even just talking to a stranger on the bus (or the internet)
Add comment