All of my experiences are from the outside looking in.
was super destructive with a single domineering individual that led to a divorce and a suicide.
was fantasy fulfillment and led to a great deal of strife.
was kinda positive in that it lasted until the one partner passed and the relationship sorta dissolved. Which is sad but understandable.
So outside of highschool i have seen 3 kicks at the can with only one “success”. The failed relationships did so in spectacular fashion which is why i know far more about them due to their violence.
I have 2 serious partners and I couldn’t be happier! These are the healthiest and most fulfilling relationships I’ve ever had. I love the freedom and autonomy that polyamory affords all of us. Since realizing I’m polyamorous, things have really fallen into place. It just feels right for me.
Personally I’ve only heard of very sad stories. Two out of three at best as you said, when not even one out of three. Of course, statistically it must work for someone. Call yourself lucky. :)
My wife and I talked about it a lot before deciding we were both cool with the other having safe and responsible adventures. In over a decade it has never caused us any grief. Communication is essential and if your relationship isn’t “stable” IMO it suggests a real communication problem - adding unrelated complications to the dynamic will never solve those.
I upvote any reply to anything I say and everything I reply to as a way of remembering where I’ve engaged. The only exceptions are things with clear perspective-lacking malice.
How does this work? If you live in a country then it isn’t foreign… it’s your country. I guess you mean you don’t live in the USA or whatever country OP is in? Just curious how a person could state that.
Well, sure. I’m not trying to start an argument or trying to talk down to you or anything. I just mean that once you are living in a country then it’s no longer foreign? If you are there on vacation then sure. But if you live there then it is your country. Sorry if it sounds like I’m splitting hairs, but at some point the store down the street or your neighbors aren’t “foreign” any longer, but home. That’s all, just my thought process.
Well I do refer to it as my neighborhood. But I do not speak the local language and I do not know all of the customs.
Even the style of speech in English is different than it is in America. I’ve been here for about 6 years, but you never really know a country and culture the way you know your own.
Just last week, my wife brought home a cheap snack from 7/11. OMG! It was so good, I’ve walked passed them for years only to discover they are my new favorite snack. I have been buying so many bags of them. This is the kind of stuff which makes me feel that this is a foreign country.
In addition to that, there are a number of things I am not able to do here that a citizen can. So in some ways, I can never fit in here. One example, is I cannot hold any professional positions, like lawyer, doctor, or any government position. I can also never own land here.
Ok, I get it. Again, I wasn’t trying to bust your chops, just couldn’t figure out how the country you are living in is foreign. If the country puts barriers to entry like that ( you have been there for 6 years and they still consider you foreign? That doesn’t make sense to me) then I understand why you consider it foreign. Just curious, and you don’t have to answer this, is your wife a native there? Does not marring a native not give a person some standing?
Generally, it’s based on appropriateness to the C/, effort, and usefulness.
There are exceptions, though there aren’t any on C/s that I actually use. But there might be eventually, there were on reddit.
If something doesn’t fit the C/, that’s a down vote if I notice it.
If something is horribly low effort, even if it’s in the right place, that’ll be a down vote.
Upvotes, it tends to be because something was appropriate to the C/, and/or someone put some work in. But, even a low effort post/comment can get an up vote if it’s personally useful.
I used to up vote anything and everything that was on topic, but lemmy has gotten busy enough that I tend to only vote at all if I interact with the post in some way. So, like a title that indicates the post isn’t something that will interest me, I just scroll past because there’s just so much stuff now. But, I scroll All, and sort by new by default, so I end up scrolling past stuff that isn’t in my subscription list. If I only scrolled through subscribed stuff, I’d probably end up voting the same amount, but voting on everything I saw, if that makes sense.
I’m mostly a fan, because I don’t feel like I have to have faith.
If my instance explodes, I’ll make an account on another instance. If the Lemmy devs collectively evaporate (and neither me nor others want to pick up the slack), then I can go to Mastodon or Kbin or whatever.
Individual rogue instances can be defederated. If e.g. Reddit truely disappears over night and Lemmy were to gain mass market appeal, then I can likely find a more isolated instance with a smaller community sharing my interests.
I’m pretty liberal with the upvotes. I like to encourage people to participate and an upvote feels like saying “hey I see you and thanks for sharing.” I regularly upvote things I don’t like or don’t agree with, if they are shared in good faith and contribute to the conversation.
Downvotes are for bigots and misinformation/disinformation/lies.
If you’re satisfied with what you have, by all means stick with it.
If your current setup is stopping you from doing something you want to do, or is holding you back from progress in something you care about, look around for solutions. Many other pieces of tech can fill in what a smartphone does, but in separate pieces. I think there is some value in having those separate pieces.
Like a smoker telling you not to smoke, I encourage you to find alternatives to the smart phone for daily life while typing to you from a smartphone.
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