Trusting the wrong person over myself, and letting what had been a decent working friendship turn into an abusive long-term relationship in which I was exploited for work and money, berated for and demanded to change fundamental things about myself, alienated from friends and family my partner didn’t like, had every past trauma, mental-health struggle, and vulnerability I’d trustingly shared with this person weaponized against me, and was routinely gaslit to such a degree that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone just to make sure I wasn’t actually misremembering everything later when this person inevitably insisted the talk had gone completely differently.
Even knowing I was being so abused, I had let so much of my life get wrapped up with this person and was so downtrodden in heart and soul that I found myself remaining dependent on the situation and unable to even think about getting out of it. I felt trapped, but unable to do anything except continue to go with it and pretend everything was just fine. This strategy was, of course, unsustainable; it all eventually blew up to the point where my abuser finally got sick of me, whereupon I was dumped, kicked out, and left unhoused and couch-surfing.
It took me a great deal of time to pick up the scraps and rebuild my life, thankfully with the help of some amazing friends and family who were happy to have me back and helped pull me up onto my feet again. After rebuilding my own independence from scratch and taking a long while to work on myself and my own mental and physical health, I eventually began dating again. I met the most wonderful person, and we’ve now been happily and healthy married for years. My shitty ex is long in the past, and I’m content to leave things that way.
Ugh i have been there. You know it’s a red flag now when someone goes ‘tell me one time when that happened’ and you have to start recording conversations as a part of relationship homework.
That is the book that is very critical and severe toward the United States. I think the problem is that that book was written as a counterpoint to the history of the United States we learn in secondary school. If you haven’t learned U.S. history from a U.S. high school history textbook, it is going to feel unbalanced, prejudiced, because you are not the target audience, who has grown up with an uncritical, unbalanced, prejudiced but in the other way, curriculum. I would imagine a book by a European scholar of U.S. history would have more potential to give a neutral outside but critical point of view.
I remember a time when someone making “six figures” was extremely wealthy. Now six figures just seems to be the baseline for even having a chance at tackling home ownership in suburban areas. 120k is probably ideal. I don’t likely need more than that and it should be enough to pay for a comfortable lifestyle.
I make $115k per year, my wife makes another $20k or so, we have one kid, a tiny house in a slightly sketch part of our Midwestern city that I bought a decade ago when it was almost cheap, and both our cars are paid off… and we’re treading water financially. I don’t know how anybody my age is affording big houses and new cars, unless it’s just by snowballing debt at an alarming pace. I’m already underfunding my 401k just to maintain some liquidity.
There was a questionable article written with that number not long ago. It’s completely bullshit though.
I’ll use my own experience as an example: I got approved for a mortgage of 125k (which is fairly low for my area, but there are still options) with the understanding that I’d be getting a house with a few issues that I can work on. My 30 year mortgage rate if I had managed to buy a house at that time would have been around 700 a month. If you double those numbers to 250k, 1400 a month and you earn 4x that amount your annual salary needs to be just under 70k.
Just for reference, there are a significant number of homes for sale for 250k or less, and I live in one of the top 10 most populated cities in the country.
$140k per year is enough to afford a mortgage on a $500k house. You’d have to make crazy money to buy a house outright on a year’s salary, so nobody evaluates it that way.
I’m sorry but this can’t be correct. I live within 30 minutes of two minor cities with plenty to do and me and my wife combined make around 100k. We live comfortably and have 50k in the bank in addition to retirement. We also have one kid. This is highly dependent on where you live. I am not saying the cost of housing,etc is not a problem but some of these numbers need to be put in context.
All of these comments are well intentioned but of the big picture: land and weather.
Where’s the safest place to live and how is the weather doing at that time. Based on it one can potentially align survival to meet these places and protect us from severe weather.
Then we can ask him to go back and find a list of lottery combinations and dates to cash in real dollars for real, no investment and zero ties other than bankrupting red states.
Why red states? Because fuck them idiocy of saying a bunch of things are socialism when they’re not. Also because gambling when you always win is not a business for the state.
In years to come probably we could get an idea of the biggest changes in societal behaviors and cash into that so we effectively influence their future for better. Remember they’re also a person who needs access to their better life and we can help them achieve it.
A ruthless vigilante turns his weapons on the superheroes which in his mind aren’t doing a good enough job, systematically eliminating them one by one.
A sentient super intelligent AI created by scientists for good goes rogue and uses an army of robotic weapons to subjugate mankind.
You might like to know that the first one is very close to an existing comic book called Punisher kills the Marvel Universe, which as the name implies revolves around the Punisher killing all of the super-heroes in the Marvel Universe. Also there’s a book called Steelheart that has a relatable idea of super-heroes being dicks and people revelling against them. The Boys also comes to mind although I haven’t watched the full series not read the full comic. And finally only tangentially related but Wanted (although the movie is based on the comic the only thing in common is the title) is another comic book that approaches the “what if” scenario of someone wiping out the super-heroes, although the story starts after they’ve been wiped out.
For the second one the other answer already gives you a spot on movie, but also I, Robot the movie is very close, and a lot of Asimov books also touch on that base.
I applied for several West Coast positions and was not even interviewed for them. I applied for literally over 300 positions in my field all over the country and got no offers, so at least for the near future, I have to conclude I’m unhirable. Most companies I applied to do not offer relocation assistance, so even if I was hirable then they would pick a West Coast local instead.
Hmm… Sounds like a “you gotta know someone” kind of thing. Are there any networking or trade events that could help? When was the last time you looked for an event?
I think I’m okay. So far I guess. I’m in my first job after grad school and am almost there a year. I was hired at 58,000 but they did an adjustment because retention was so poor and now I make 69,000.
When I was younger I always thought 70k would be the number I would be totally fine with but adjusted for inflation 70k then was a lot more than now.
I had been making about 10k a year before now working fast food while in school. It was a weird feeling for me because I was so happy to pretty much meet my “goal”. I thought I would feel so rich after that jump. I have no lifestyle inflation because I live in the same place and drive the same shitty 500 dollar car I have for years.
But for some reason I feel just as poor as I always felt and it feels like nothing changed and it’s not going as far as I thought it would. I thought it would be life changing. And it is I suppose but not like I thought.
I feel bad complaining when it’s a privilege and many people make worse. Even I made less until recently. The entire system is just fucked and I feel bad for anyone who makes less than me because I still feel pressure and I don’t even really have anything.
Sorry if this makes me sound like a piece of shit I’m not trying to come off this way
All good; I’m usually on your side of this interaction.
But for some reason I feel just as poor as I always felt and it feels like nothing changed and it’s not going as far as I thought it would.
I mean I made 15k a year doing fast food before I went back to school, and even that was hugely important for me to get my mental health in order. I can’t go back now though; too much has changed, and I need to focus on grad school.
I feel bad complaining when it’s a privilege and many people make worse.
Don’t. It sucks that we have to work at all. You always have a right to vent and be an emotional human no matter how safe your situation actually is relative to others.
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