asklemmy

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xigoi, in How to respond to gf saying "I'm fat"
@xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

“Phew! I thought you were pregnant.”

Nikki, in What has been the best thing that has happened to you so far?

being born in a place where i am not genocided for being myself (yet)

sanguinepar, in What makes a (good) monarch?
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

No monarch is a good one IMO. The very idea of a monarchy is repulsive to me.

However, there are certainly some who are worse than others. The trouble is that by the time you find out, they’re already the monarch and you can’t get rid of them without a great deal of trouble.

deadcatbounce,
@deadcatbounce@reddthat.com avatar

The moment I think about - UK - say, president Blair, Johnson or Sunak, I change my mind.

sanguinepar, (edited )
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

This argument comes up every time. What if you get a KING Blair, Johnson or Sunak? At least a president can be voted out.

deadcatbounce,
@deadcatbounce@reddthat.com avatar

I don’t think you really understand how monarchies work.

FYI Charles I was voted out to all intents and purposes.

sanguinepar, (edited )
@sanguinepar@lemmy.world avatar

Ok, how do I vote out the current King then? What’s that? I can’t?

I absolutely do understand how monarchies work, so don’t patronise me - or at least not without expanding on your point so I can reply with more than "Yes I do”.

Anticorp, in What search engine do you recommend that isn't Google or Bing?

Kagi. Nothing else even comes close. Kagi is what Google used to be, before they decided they’ll show you whatever is profitable, rather than what they know you’re looking for.

MSids,

Not sure I’m ready to pay for search especially not at $5-10/mo.

TonyTonyChopper,
@TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz avatar

If you’re not spending some money then you’re not the customer, you’re the product. Would you really prefer the web continue to be supported by ads and people who sell data about you?

MadhuGururajan,

People can do without search. Most will find better uses for 10$ an hour. Those who can’t probably won’t buy search. So, lose-lose for you who tries to convince people in every post.

RvTV95XBeo,

$10/mo, not hour, god that would be an insane search bill

MadhuGururajan,

Funny i understood it meant $10 per month but made the mistake typing.

Anticorp,

It’s $5-$10 per month, not $10 per hour. LOL

kilgore_trout,

People can do without search

This post is specifically asking for a search engine recommendation.

MadhuGururajan,

Yeah but they aren’t coming in here for the lack of options. They wanted to hear what’s everybody else on. I suppose you can make the argument that demand is there for paid search… but that’s because people have trained helplessness. Apart from 1 paid company i am not sure if people will have appetite for more companies in this space… because enshittification will happen here too.

ArdMacha,

That statement didn’t give you the money to pay for it though

blurg,

If you’re not spending some money then you’re not the customer, you’re the product.

  • BSD (e.g. FreeBSD, OpenBSD, …)
  • GNU/Linux (e.g. kernel, Ubuntu, Mint, Arch, …)
  • GNU/FSF/FOSS software (e.g. LibreOffice, Vim, Emacs, , Compiler Collection, Gnome & KDE desktop, GIMP, VLC, Wine, Python, …)
  • Misc. (e.g. Wikipedia (& Kiwix), Gutenberg (& Calibre), Archive.org, CreativeCommons,org, OpenStreetMap, Lemmy, R, …)
  • Plenty of public schools, public library, charities, …

Would like to argue with you. However, supporting these projects directly, if you can afford to, is something of a personal responsibility.

COASTER1921,

Yep. Like $1.99 or $2.99 I can easily justify but $5/mo for only 300 searches feels too steep to me reguardless of result quality. I’ll just go through the other pages of results from any other search engine.

ReallyActuallyFrankenstein,

I appreciate the non-ad-funded option, even if it is expensive, but I’m not sure it’s even better than Google, looking at their sample results.

For example, Steve Jobs (again, to be clear, this is the result they specifically provide as an example of why you should pay) has two different links to the same Wikipedia article in the first five results. kagi.com/search?q=steve+jobs

Not to put you on the spot, but I’m still open to be convinced - do you have any examples of when Kagi did a great job to compare?

runswithjedi, in Did any coal-in-your-stocking type of things happen to you on Christmas Day?

I woke up sick Christmas Day and still feel pretty bad. I’m fairly certain a family member gifted me whatever I have.

KreekyBonez,

same! went to my spouse’s work party last week, and proceeded to develop a gnarly cold by the time xmas rolled in.

I’m better now, of course; just in time to get back to work.

Limeey, (edited ) in How would you feel/react if your home address was announced & published very publicly the same way celebrities experience?

Seems like a lot of people are unaware of white pages

LemmyKnowsBest, (edited )

Yeah, phone books..

In the olden days it was easier to look anyone up, the phone company would deliver a new phone book to everyone’s front door twice a year, how could we not all be at least a little fascinated to explore through all those pages and look up people we know from school etc? 😋

nowadays people have to go out of their way with an intention in their mind to go to a website and look people up on whitepages.com or peoplefinder.com etc and last time I noticed years ago, a fee is required to use those kind of sites.

EchoCranium,

I remember back in grade school (early 80’s) we had lessons about how to use a phone book. Now I’m surprised if I ever see a new one dropped off at the front door.

itchick2014, in What are your best air fryer/oven recipes?

Reheating fried food in the air fryer changed how I view leftovers. Also, love roasted veggies or air fryer whole chicken. I use my air fryer a lot more than I thought I would.

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

How do you usually make your chickens? Like spices and stuff. Idk how to cook a chicken lol

itchick2014,

therecipecritic.com/air-fryer-whole-chicken/ is the last recipe I used. I recommend it!

ada, in Why does America say 'merry christmas'?
@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Who is “everyone else” in this story?

The only place I know that days Happy Christmas is the UK

In Australia, it’s merry

Mr_Dr_Oink,

I’m from the UK, and I’ve always said merry.

I doubt it’s any more prevalent in a specific country and more likely specific to individual families and friends.

For example, i always thought it was an american thing to say happy christmas.

Rhynoplaz,

Definitely not an American thing. It’s ALL Merry over here.

jak,

My family always said happy, but we also say Gesundheit, so who knows

ada,
@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Either way, happy and merry Christmas to you :)

bamboo,

Happy Merry to you too!

TheGalacticVoid,

In the US, it’s incredibly rare if not impossible to find someone who says “Happy Christmas.” It’s either “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays.”

victorz, in best app for lemmy?

Boost. One-time cheap payment to get rid of ads. No subscription like Sync (which is otherwise also a great app; it was not subscription based when it was available for Reddit).

ChuckEffingNorris,

I use Sync and don’t pay anything. It’s brilliant and the ads are basically invisible and rare.

Literally was the best Reddit app and it is a fantastic port to Lemmy.

You can choose to pay the dev if you want to. I haven’t yet, but likely will if I spend more time here.

victorz,

It really is a gorgeous app. 🤌

Tier1BuildABear,
@Tier1BuildABear@lemmy.world avatar

Adblock :)

altima_neo,
@altima_neo@lemmy.zip avatar

Sync has a one time payment to get rid of ads as well. The subscription is for cloud services, if you want that stuff. I didn’t, so all I paid for was to remove ads.

victorz,

Thanks, I had missed that! Still the price for Sync is way higher than what I paid for Boost. 🫤

Tier1BuildABear,
@Tier1BuildABear@lemmy.world avatar

Free sync here and adblock catches everything

AnalogyAddict, in What is Something Scientific that you just don't believe in at all?

I’m probably going to get eviscerated for this, but that sexuality is purely genetic. I think that for the vast majority of people, sexuality is way more fluid than not, and much more influenced by environment than people would like to think.

I also don’t think that has any bearing on people’s right to choose.

june, (edited )

As a member of the LGBTQ community, I fully agree.

I’ve believed that we are a mix of nature and nurture for as long as I can remember, and it stands to reason that sexuality is a part of that. I also think the vast majority of people are far more sexually fluid than they would admit due to cultural stigma. Not everyone is bi, but I do think there’s a bell curve.

That said. I do also believe that people are born the way they are and the nurture aspect is more of a determining factor for how they express not who they are. I was raised and socialized as a straight male but realized in my 30’s that I’m queer and non-binary. Realizing that put so much context to the struggles I had growing up on a Christian environment and solidified for me that this is who I am, despite how I was nurtured. But had I not gotten out of the religion, I’d have never changed and just silently suffered and struggled until I died. My expression wouldn’t have changed who I am, only how I acted.

Ashe, (edited )

You can believe what you want to believe, you didn’t say it in a hateful way at all.

I’m curious about what your opinion would be of trans people going through HRT though. When starting hormone therapy you are warned of potential changes to your sexuality. I am transfem, and prior to transitioning I was bi. Since starting HRT, I tend to have an aversion to men sexually and am more lesbian aligned now.

I guess that is fluidity and environmental factors, but biological factors even still.

Other people meanwhile experience the opposite effect (which is what I expected) or none at all.

AnalogyAddict,

I don’t know about transitioning, other than I probably would have thought I was trans if I’d been born later. I’m glad I wasn’t told I’d have to go through surgery and hormone replacements to be what I truly am. I was able to define my gender for myself.

But I don’t think anyone can judge another person’s choices like that. I just look forward to the day when people are allowed to freely make choices about how they live their own lives. I don’t think either political side is terribly flexible. (Though certainly, the right is far more rigid.)

I’ve seen too many people ostracized for changing their minds about being trans or changing their sexuality by people they thought were open-minded friends. Or people hated on for changing their faith by those who pretend to follow a loving God. It’s painful all around. We shouldn’t have to agree with someone on every point to celebrate and adore them.

NikkiDimes,

Just wanted to pop in here and say: no one is being told they have to go through surgery and hormone replacements to be who they are. In fact, things are changing in the opposite direction. There used to be laws requiring physical surgeries to be able to legally change one’s gender but those have mostly been removed.

The options are there and are becoming more widely available and easier to access for those who want them. They are major life choices that aren’t taken lightly. I can tell you right now, if you weren’t trans then, you wouldn’t be now either. You would be suffering and begging for treatment, not stumbling into it out of mere curiousity.

AnalogyAddict, (edited )

It’s not curiosity. I never felt like my gender. I’ve always been a fish out of water, and been extremely uncomfortable in my body. The way trans people describe feeling is how I’ve felt for the majority of my life.

But in the years since, I’ve come to terms with who I am and what my body is. I no longer feel the need to make it be anything other than what it is.

ani, (edited )

trans people going through HRT

Not op, but I went a bit through HRT, then desisted (primarily because of financial issues, then because I didn’t identity with the opposite sex anymore). IMO transgenderism is understandable because many gender norms seem socially constructed, but transexualism (including HRT and surgeries) is a mental disorder or a maladaptive coping mechanism or immaturity leading to people not actually understanding and not accepting their bodies function, and I believe social contagion is true. It is pretty concerning minors are allowed to HRT since they bodies including their minds didn’t fully develop yet (which goes until age ~24). There’s a ton of detrans who regret going through transexual procedures.

I am transfem, and prior to transitioning I was bi. Since starting HRT, I tend to have an aversion to men sexually and am more lesbian aligned now.

I don’t think this has anything to do with you going through HRT. It just shows how your natural hormones and nature are still strong enough to do what is natural. It’s just immaturity; time went and you matured, even with HRT. Most natural women are actually attracted solely to men in comparison.

michaelmrose,

Statistically its a microscopic portion a fraction of 1% who regret transitioning which tends to suggest social contagion isn’t a thing either.

ani,

microscopic portion a fraction of 1%

I tried searching for scientific articles but didn’t find a source on this 1%. Could you share a scientific source on this?

suggest social contagion isn’t a thing either.

I don’t see how they are causally correlated. I just say from personal experience… that if I wasn’t exposed since my pre-teen years to LGBT I would likely never think transitioning was a thing and as such would not have pursued that. Today I see it was just a waste of time and money trying to transition.

michaelmrose,

1% regret it and a small number of those actually go on to reverse it.

apnews.com/…/transgender-treatment-regret-detrans…

ani, (edited )

Some studies… In a review of 27 studies…

What studies are these? There’s no reference.

almost 8,000 teens and adults who had transgender surgeries

Also, it’s pretty crazy they’re doing this on teens and crazier that their parents are allowing that. Like, do you really think teens have the maturity to comprehend what are the consequences of this in the long term? I don’t think so even if some doctor gives them a paper to read, just as I was given.

michaelmrose,

Statistically its a microscopic portion a fraction of 1% who regret transitioning which tends to suggest social contagion isn’t a thing either.

michaelmrose,

It’s not thought to be genetic otherwise it would be heritable and its clearly not. It would also have self extinguished before too long if it ever got a foothold in the first place.

It’s likely a construction issue having something to do with something that happens in the womb rather than to do with the blueprints.

CCF_100, in Is there an artist whose work you love but was a shitty person?

JK Rowling 😔

lvxferre, in Does "Rock music is evil / of the devil" have racist roots?
@lvxferre@lemmy.ml avatar

[some are] convinced that rock music is evil and will lead people to engage in witchcraft and draw pentagrams all over their home.

I think that it’s pretty safe to say that at least some people around you are stone-cold fundamentalists. This sort of discourse doesn’t come from non-fundamentalists.

That said as stupid as “rock is [from the d]evil” claim is, I don’t think that it’s rooted in racism. Instead I think that it’s because some values often followed by rock bands, singers and fans clash directly with some values of Christianity.

Note that some sort of percussion pops up in almost every musical style, across the eras.

Slaves. They created the guitar

This was already addressed, but… come on, acoustic guitars are from Middle Ages Iberia, and they backtrack all the way into the lutes of the Ancient Egypt and Anatolia. (Probably. It’s so old that the origins are hard to determine.)

Pat_Riot,
@Pat_Riot@lemmy.today avatar

And the electric guitar was invented by Les Paul.

Slaves invented the banjo which they developed from stringed gourd instruments they had in Africa.

feedum_sneedson,

Oh well the banjo is pretty good too.

ElderWendigo,

deleted_by_author

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  • feedum_sneedson,

    Are you really done? This might be a major life moment for you.

    lvxferre,
    @lvxferre@lemmy.ml avatar

    This might be a major life moment for you.

    Nah. ElderWendigo@shitjustworks is clearly a witch hunter, and witch hunters don’t usually learn. Five minutes later they get another major life moment: misread something, point hooves and screech, get called out, then delete the comment while downvoting people calling them out, as they run away with tail between legs.

    [I kind of wanted them to point out historical falsehoods in my comment though. If there’s something false there I’d gladly fix it.]

    lvxferre, (edited )
    @lvxferre@lemmy.ml avatar

    Your whole comment is just so much racist whitewashing and ignorance it is painful to read.

    In no moment I whitewashed rock, denying its black origins. I didn’t even mention the origins of rock. So don’t be a liar - or worse, assumptive trash.

    The anti-rock movement is deeply rooted in racism.

    That does not contradict what I said given that I was talking about that specific claim, not about the anti-rock movement as a whole.

    Long before there was any hint of witchcraft in Rock and Roll, it’s greatest threat to christian fundamentalism was in brining black music to white audiences.

    I believe this to be correct but it does not contradict what I said.

    Your whole comment is just so much racist whitewashing and ignorance it is painful to read.

    No, it is not. Learn to read.

    This kind of bullshit is how conservatives today get away with claiming racism doesn’t exist anymore.

    I’m neither what would be considered “conservative” where I live, nor in USA (where rock is from). And I am not responsible for what your intellectual peers claim. (You might not be a conservative but you bloody behave like one!)


    Nota bene: if two were to play this “I’m an illiterate so I make shit up lol” game, you’d be screwed, as it would be really easy for me to label you as an Islamophobic and a nationalist, on the exact same grounds that you’re claiming that I’m [ipsis ungulis] “a racist” and “whitewashing rock”. Think on why.

    Or alternatively you might go back to Reddit. Given that you lack basic reading comprehension, you’d be doing everyone a big favour.

    PM_ME_YOUR_ZOD_RUNES, (edited ) in What is your best story when you were in a foreign country?

    Went to New York city to go see Ozzy in concert (from Canada). My first time in the US. It was me and 3 other male friends, all in our mid/late 20’s. On our way back home we got pulled over by a state trooper because my friend was speeding.

    The state trooper walks up to the window and says he smells marijuana. Which was total bullshit because this was a new car and we aren’t dumb enough to bring that shit with us. He proceeds to make us all stand in the cold for 45 minutes while he goes through the entire contents of the car and finds nothing. They give us a warning then leave with all our shit just laying around.

    This was like a month before they legalised weed in Canada so we figured that was why they did it. The entire time I was just scared they would plant something. I’ve been conditioned to not trust cops due to all the shit I’ve seen online. This experience just made it worse. And we were just a bunch of white guys, can’t even begin to imagine what people of color have to deal with when it comes to cops in the US.

    skeezix,

    Youre right not to trust American cops. They’re corrupt and above the law. If you had pissed him off in any way he would have certainly planted something and arrested you. He searched your car because your ages and destination. He wanted to find something.

    Akasazh, in What is your best story when you were in a foreign country?
    @Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

    I was thirteen, visiting Ireland with my parents. We were staying in a hostel somewhere in the area of the cliffs of Moher.

    My parents went out for a drink in the pub and met another Dutch couple. They were staying at the same hostel. At breakfast they joined our table and my parents introduced me.

    Now I do have a very uncommon first name (the only way I’m part of the 1%). This guy says 'i once met a bit by that name before, it was in Croatia, some ten years ago.

    Turns out that was me. The guy had helped dive up one of my swimming shoes that had sank to the bottom of the bay, an act of heroism for the very young me.

    So we met this bloke twice, in two very different parts of Europe. The bizarre thing though: if I had a slightly more common name we might never even have known.

    hactar42,

    I was in the US Air Force and stationed in England. In the military you use your social security number (SSN) for pretty much everything. There was a girl I worked with whose SSN shared the same first 8 digits as mine. Turns out we were born in the same hospital a few hours apart, but never met until we were in our 20s in a foreign country.

    For non-Americans, the first 3 numbers are assigned by the geographical region. Then the next 2 numbers are a smaller grouping inside of that area. So, two people born in the same small geographic area have a good chance of having the same first 5 digits the same. In my case it was the first 8 that were the same. They are only 9 digits long.

    Akasazh,
    @Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

    Somebody should do the math on those odds!

    Agent641,

    The laughing stops when you meet someone with the exact same SSN as you.

    burliman,

    Was in Ireland a while back and I hit a guy with my rental car. Just a love tap. Nothing serious and no one was hurt. I was pulling out of a lot and it was really hard to see and I was looking for traffic and inching (centimetering?) out. And I look and there’s suddenly a bloke there, getting pushed a little. He smacks the hood of the car and yells something, then waves his hand at me and keeps walking.

    In the States that would have been a lawsuit.

    Akasazh,
    @Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

    Yeah litigation is no joke. It’s wonderous to see the lengths people go to to get one up over somebody else. I think it has to do with the lack of social security or something.

    z00s,

    Centimetering lol

    PP_BOY_, (edited ) in What groups you are unwillingly associated with? How you handle it?
    @PP_BOY_@lemmy.world avatar

    I’m unwillingly associated with the U.S. Democratic Party only because I’m uncompromising in my beliefs of equality and antifascism, but disagree with almost other policy of theirs^1


    1. This doesn’t mean I agree with the only other major US party.
    surewhynotlem,

    I’m not a Democrat. I’m anti-Republican. As soon as there’s another actually viable option, or ranked choice voting, the Dems will never see me again.

    phillaholic,

    This is the correct answer. Pretending there are more than two choices doesn’t stop Roe from being abolished. You have to play the hand your dealt, etc.

    someguy3,

    If it’s ranked choice, won’t Democrats be lower on your list?

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