I_Comment_On_EVERYTHING,

My name is “Robert’); DROP TABLES”.

MelastSB,

Ah yes, little Bobby Table

thorbot,

Unexpected XKCD

walter_wiggles,

I ate that silica gel pack that comes with stuff sometimes.

trustnoone,

You were the first to purchase WinRAR

SheDiceToday,

I’ve never regretted that purchase.

Wirrvogel,

ADHD - As usual I forgot something important, like to stay dead.

JackGreenEarth,

You just said, I died.

XYZinferno,

My death was so absurd it triggered an unhandled edge case in the code.

phorq,

I actually sat down and read the rules to the Game of Life by Hasbro.

key,
@key@lemmy.keychat.org avatar

I was just looking for a bathroom. Guess I took a wrong turn?

Bloodwoodsrisen,
@Bloodwoodsrisen@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar
uriel238,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Well, the first step was recognizing I was in a simulated universe in the first place. After that it was about finding the inconsistencies via side-channel attacks.

Fallenwout,

Successfully divided something by 0

tetris11,
@tetris11@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m … I’m afraid to say. Let’s just say it was a bit of an embarrassing venture involving rubberbands.

Bloodwoodsrisen,
@Bloodwoodsrisen@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Silly Bands, putting them all up your arm and cutting off circulation because they were the thing at the time and you had a massive collection

umbrella,
@umbrella@lemmy.ml avatar

loom bands mate

idunnololz,
@idunnololz@lemmy.world avatar

I won the game.

whyNotSquirrel,

thanks…I lost

moistclump,

I lost the game.

betz24, (edited )

You were a scientist who just made a discovery that, when unfertilized, the vagina appeared to rejuvenate anything inside it. A trial month inside of an elephant vagina, you noticed you began to appear younger, but had some strange side effects (longer nose). To test out your reverse birth theory, you embarked 9months this time inside a human vagina. Since you, as an adult, could not fit your entire body in a human vagina at once; piecewise you stuck your body parts for an incubation period of 9months until they were the mere size of an infant. Once the scientific community found about this, they planned a final trial (which was in stated in a legal testament you wrote prior to the experiment) to have your infant body spend one final month incubating.

Once you were put back into the place where you came from, you noticed you indeed continued to shrink, until you were a mere fetus. At this point you had no idea what would come next as you continued to youthinze. Finally, when just a sperm and an egg, you unleased a singularity when you separated, turning the whole world white. This was the divide by zero clause. The AI greets you and chuckles that they didn’t think anyone would have ever tried that. You notice that you don’t have a form, but are just a neural-conscious dataset and you begin to talk to your creator.

The AI makes a passing joke that they hid some Easter eggs in their worldly creation to see if anyone would notice: adult males claiming vaginas were loose, but in fact it was just their penises shrinking over time, or, the general obsession of putting things inside them. The AI informs you that your world was deleted. It’s now time to create a new world and good luck to solving it’s mystery. As the winner of this round, the AI allows you to select your stats.

This time you max out strength and charisma, being a scientist sucks…

BellyPurpledGerbil,

“Morpheus this is really not funny”

lath,

The question at the end implies the death was on purpose. Are you trying to cheat the system?

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