phorq

@phorq@lemmy.ml

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phorq,

The file extension is exe, am I doing something wrong?

phorq,

Chupa… can you imagine that being a kids movie?

phorq,

F*****x, I edged so hard I chromed all over myself…

phorq,

Do you have a problem? If yes, then it should consume your thoughts so you don’t have any ability to think of a solution… If no, then you must’ve forgotten something…

phorq,

Dude made a fortune on merch, I see red shirts and grey hoodies all the time

phorq,

If everyone sucks at driving, odds are that you do too (I’m not excluding myself from this). Most people just don’t realize it. But yes some people are more stupid than others…

phorq,

Why am I getting Bobobo vibes? There better not be an epic battle of ass hair vs pubic hair happening just outside…

phorq,

Missed opportunity to make that a gif that moves slightly…

phorq,

Thanks! You’re hot too, dawg!

phorq, (edited )

Well sure, but if you think about the fact that there are 8.1 billion people in the world and then consider that if you’re really lucky you might live to 100… That’s (365 × 100) × (60k ÷ 8.1b) × (100%)… You only have a 27% chance of dying this way… Honestly didn’t expect it to be that high.

phorq,

I doubt my math is correct, I always sucked at statistics, but if you were to convert my previous nonsense you wouldn’t multiply by 365 since you already have the yearly rate rather than the daily rate so it would be: (100) × (500 ÷ 333,287,557) × (100%) = 0.015%

phorq,

You forgot to take into account leap years or as I’ve come to call them the leaping gnu/years

phorq,

Does skydiving without a parachute count as a jumpscare? Because I feel like there’s not much to fear except death in that situation…

phorq,

Chef Boyardeez arms tired from opening all those cans…

phorq,

It’s only dissociative if the identities aren’t getting along.

phorq,

Is it wrong for me to say that the pessimism with a side of alcohol is the most British you could possibly describe being merry?

phorq,

According to the questionable celebrity health statistics website I found… Danny DeVito is 70kg, which is 11 stone… So it’s more like the chef lost almost 1.9 Danny DeVitos. We Americans may have weird measuring systems, but we take them seriously!

phorq,

I was wondering what happened to the drone delivery Amazon promised… It all makes sense now…

phorq,

Why do I suddenly feel the need to start digging holes…

phorq,

= I 1337 you +3000

phorq,

I’m uncomfortable swallowing such a large iron supplement…

phorq,

Is it just me, or does it look like a symbolic heart shape but with valves coming off of it?..

phorq,

Okay, I want that dance on my desk by Monday

phorq,

Who’s it whispering to if not me? And is it talking about me?

phorq,

Yeah, honestly sounds like something you’d try when you have no shame. Not that I’m judging, just there’s a certain low you have to sink to to be the first one to try that…

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