it’s that voice in the back that’s always there, but waits for a quiet moment to suggest crazy shit. I liken it to very very mild, controlled tourette’s - random impulses that shouldn’t even raise to the level of conscious thought but for whatever reason slip through the ‘noise’ filter.
It definitely is crazy shit, not always self harm. For whatever reason I always get it when I see nice cars, my brain immediately goes to “kick the headlights!” and then I cringe when I imagine it actually happening, it’s so odd because the desire pops up but my reaction to it is disgust or “pain” like I definitely don’t want to do it.
Yup I’ve never experienced intrusive thoughts, so apparently it’s not a universal thing that all humans experience. I do have an inner monologe though, and I do visualize people’s faces in my mind, so please don’t diagnose me with aphantasia.
I mean, you jump off one cliff and it’s fun and suddenly your body thinks all that dangerous deadly shit is gonna be wild I dunno that’s how it started with me. Now all the cliffs look fun even if there isn’t a safe landing spot unders and all the voids start looking more and more exciting. Go fig.
In my case it’s more like, “You’re so clumsy you’re probably gonna chop your finger off. Look at you, I bet you will. Try and get real close to it like you’re chopping veggies without chopping your finger off. Bet you can’t. You probably can’t clean the blade real fast on the sharp side because you’ll chop your finger off. Pussy.”
I have that weird shit all the time. Not with self harm exclusively, but for example very graphically imagining how I’d accidently slip and being hit by a truck or something like that.
Imagine, if you like, that you are sitting in an armchair with your feet on a coffee table and someone lobs a kettlebell at your knees. Consider the sound. Picture the interesting angles of the limbs.
Same, although often stuff that won’t kill me, but will just make me ill or upset. Practically every time I clean my guinea pig’s cage, my brain looks at the little tablet-shaped turds they leave behind and thinks “just eat one” see what it’s like".
Well one Stamets just shares content so not the author of the meme and second weird one off intrusive thoughts like these are pretty common. Now that being said if one begins dwelling and considering it rather than having the usual 'WTF brain" reaction we usually have then yes help maybe needed.
Call of the void. My understanding is that it's your brain inventing risky scenarios so that you can shrink from them in revulsion, as practice for "don't do that."
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