No doubt. I’m guessing you’re in North America somewheres? I’m an arborist from Australia, are they maples or tulip trees? Looks like you’ve got a lovely forest out the back.
No tulip trees, just a bunch of maples, a few oaks, and one black walnut. There’s about 1/6 of an acre behind us in the photo with a cemetery beyond that. Plenty of space for the kiddo to romp around and the critters love it too.
Lol. We got the pull up diapers for our 2 year old. They tear, so they pull up but tear to take off. I think they are called pamper 360 or something like that.
I don’t understand - are you changing a loaded pull-up by pulling it down over the legs, instead of just using the velcro tabs and changing it like a normal diaper?
As for potty training, unless you get lucky, I think the only thing that works reliability is taking off their diaper and letting them learn what happens. If they can be completely naked on the bottom, even better.
Bluey is amazing, warm, funny, clever, just perfect. Any kids show that can tell the story of human evolutionin, while using it as a metaphor for children growing up is pretty special. (I think that episode is called Flat Pack) And also, if you can access iPlayer (BBC), Hey Duggie is brilliant, silly, funny, great design and sweet. Also Puffin Rock (Netflix) is like a warm, gentle blanket - but sneaks in educational nature content, as does Octonaughts (iPlayer / Netflix), which is also excellent.
I feel this. My wife was mostly on bed rest toward the end of her second pregnancy. We also have a toddler. I was basically taking care of our toddler, our two dogs, and the upkeep/cleaning of our house all on my own. Plus working a full time, very stressful job that pays most of our bills. The stress was real. And I was exhausted.
Keep your head up. But just know that after a C-section your wife won’t be able to do any heavy lifting, driving, and other things for at least 6 weeks afterward. If you have family or friends that you are able to reach out to, it could be good to do so. I don’t necessarily mean having people hang around your house all day. No one wants that. But maybe people can drop off some hot meals for you? Deliver groceries to you? Simple things that can save you a lot of time.
At the end of the day, and as much as your wife needs the help, remember to take some time for yourself. I found myself getting unreasonably frustrated at times, and I internalized that a lot. We can’t be good fathers and husbands if we are drowning.
Keep reaching out here if you need to vent or need advice!
Yeah same boat this is kid number 2 so I’ve been wrangling the toddler and juggling everything else. For whatever reason this pregnancy was way tougher on her. Instead of bed rest towards the end she’s just been dead tired by 6pm the whole time. Feel bad too because I spend all this effort on the house and the other kid but compared to the first pregnancy I’ve had zero time to be like “do you need water? Foot rub? Run to the store for that weird food?”
I remember with the first one I was like okay were in the hospital were good now. After a week long induction and a c section I quickly realized “oh shit there’s a lot of ways she can die right now”
Then the kid was out and I was like great now we’re good. Nope is it blind? Is it deaf? Why is this test weird
But I digress, the end is in sight and i know not to panic at those things this time. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I just got laid off and my state does paid leave now. So after today I atleast don’t have to worry about work and I’m not trying to cram everything into that couple hours at the end of the night
At the end of the day, and as much as your wife needs the help, remember to take some time for yourself. I found myself getting unreasonably frustrated at times, and I internalized that a lot. We can’t be good fathers and husbands if we are drowning.
Thanks for the reminder. Wife’s nausea is way worse with this baby than the last (who is now a very busy 1 year old). There are a lot of days where I feel like I’m stretched to the limit and I know I’m grumpy a lot more than I should be. I’ve got to get better at self care.
As you might already know, the key is communication. As you described, nobody took the chance to say anything and that lead to frustration. Therefore it is so important to have an after talk. Try to think about your emotions and thoughts you had during the act to prepare for this, but also consider the general things in your relationship. Often the problem lies a bit deeper and might not even be connected to sexual things.
Try to be open and understanding, first think about what you could have done wrong. Formulate your sentences like this, send "I-messages" not "You-messages". Take your partners thoughts seriouelsy. Create an atmosphere where both of you feel they can be honest.
You mention "poor health" could be a factor. This has two components that are important for sex, one is fitness, the other one is attractiveness. Have you considered your wife has a point here? When married people often change, eat more, do less sports, they gain weight etc. This can happen without yourself realizing. Be honest with yourself, make a check and see if you are still happy with your fitness and body form. If yo are not, who knows, maybe your wife is ready to support you somehow? You would wonder how sexy it can be when someone just says "I was working out for 1 hour straight today" - you don't even have to wait for results.
You are starting to reflect upon yourself, and that's a great thing! Good luck for you!
Great advice! A small bit of extra advice from my own relationship is focusing on talking about how things make you or her feel. And remember in this that feelings are never wrong, but can be misguided by (IE) not knowing the full picture. (Though never just assume thats the case for someone else)
Your feelings are valid OP! But, hers are as well. Try figuring out what’s making you both feel unhappy about your relationship/sex life.
compressed work weeks are typically pretty successful. Either 4 x 10s for labour jobs. Pilot projects for office staff working 4 days a week, no extra hours for the same salary have been really successful too.
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