My best friends don’t have kids so they usually come to me, but they also have their own lives so I don’t want to bother them
Did your best friends indicate you’re bothering them? If not, where did this narrative come from, that you’re bothering them? I’d wonder if this is just in your head and if it’s preventing you from reaching out more often.
As you might already know, the key is communication. As you described, nobody took the chance to say anything and that lead to frustration. Therefore it is so important to have an after talk. Try to think about your emotions and thoughts you had during the act to prepare for this, but also consider the general things in your relationship. Often the problem lies a bit deeper and might not even be connected to sexual things.
Try to be open and understanding, first think about what you could have done wrong. Formulate your sentences like this, send "I-messages" not "You-messages". Take your partners thoughts seriouelsy. Create an atmosphere where both of you feel they can be honest.
You mention "poor health" could be a factor. This has two components that are important for sex, one is fitness, the other one is attractiveness. Have you considered your wife has a point here? When married people often change, eat more, do less sports, they gain weight etc. This can happen without yourself realizing. Be honest with yourself, make a check and see if you are still happy with your fitness and body form. If yo are not, who knows, maybe your wife is ready to support you somehow? You would wonder how sexy it can be when someone just says "I was working out for 1 hour straight today" - you don't even have to wait for results.
You are starting to reflect upon yourself, and that's a great thing! Good luck for you!
Great advice! A small bit of extra advice from my own relationship is focusing on talking about how things make you or her feel. And remember in this that feelings are never wrong, but can be misguided by (IE) not knowing the full picture. (Though never just assume thats the case for someone else)
Your feelings are valid OP! But, hers are as well. Try figuring out what’s making you both feel unhappy about your relationship/sex life.
It depends on how many small bills the tooth fairy happens to have on him at the relevant night. I'm only a little ashamed in admitting that, one day when only $20s were in the wallet, I may have snuck into the LO's room, grabbed a couple of singles from her piggy bank, and then had the tooth fairy give her those (supplementing later, of course).
I did $5 for the first one ever, however, weeks later she had a meltdown and demanded that the tooth fairy return the tooth. She even tried to put the $5 back under her pillow🤣.
I am a cripple who married a woman who claimed she didn’t want kids, and believed in abortion, until we got married and she missed her birth control and got pregnant, then explained how what she had said when we were dating wasn’t true and while she didn’t want kids and that she believes that other folks can have abortions, she can not herself. Her body her choice you know
Now I’m in a body that’s not physically capable of being a dad, with a wife who doesn’t want to be a mom, but also didn’t want to make a hard decision. One child passed early on and the other has a horrible genetic disease that we fight every day
I feel like I’ve completely lost all control of my life. I have no energy for anything I used to enjoy, nor time or money to do anything but work and take care of the family
Every day I get closer to shooting myself and I don’t see a way out
Order folks are in a similar place, but I at least don’t have a good answer. My answer is a bullet and that’s a really shitty one. I just don’t see any way out and I’m so very tired
One day at a time, my man. One day at a time. I’m up and down w suicide, and your struggles are vastly different than mine but I just want to say I hear you. All I can hope for you is a different tomorrow.
I'm a person who likes to fix. Sometimes that's not what my wife wants, though, she just wants to vent and be heard. I've learned to ask if she wants to be heard or if she wants me to offer solutions and that has really helped. I've started to apply this to other people in my life as well.
This one has been revolutionary for me, not everything needs to be solved. Honestly, on my end making it clear when I'm 'venting at you' vs when I 'want advice' has been great.
I don’t understand - are you changing a loaded pull-up by pulling it down over the legs, instead of just using the velcro tabs and changing it like a normal diaper?
My four year old informed me, via the Father's Day questionnaire she filled out at school, that I am 18 years old. I thought I was 37. I hope they don't call the cops on her mother.
I was just thinking that I hadn't seen a dadsplaining post since my last one and I was concerned for a moment that my instance, lemmy.one, decided to pull a Beehaw on lemmy.ca.
Take your kid out to see things. You dont mention the age of the kid…
If its a baby just go where ever you wanna go… maybe with the exception of nascar and concerts or other loud places.
If its a larger kid. Like 5 years old, go to the zoo, playgrounds, the amusement park… hell even the mall, and through a toy store.
Or just bring your kid over to your friends. Tell them you miss hanging out. And you can easily bring a baby to a friends house. So long as you can provide the things you need, and expect to handle it all yourself.
Or the library. Read some kids books and such.
Find playdates on FB or similar. Theres always other lonely parents around
SI have no specific suggestions of products, but I found a wee little baby needs very little. Focus on things that will help you help the baby and make things easier for you… untill they start moving about… then I’d look for stuff at local used shops/ websites. At that age kids outgrow things fast and people get rid of practically new stuff, and less disappointing if the kid doesn’t really care about it.
Someone mentioned window shades- I’d consider dark and ceramic tints on the windows if you’re keeping the car long term (assuming you have a car). It does help keep everyone cool and sun out of little eyes.
Cricket. The episode might not have the same impact for those outside Australia but the ending never fails to bring tears to my eyes. It helps that my daughter loves it too.
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