Smoogs, Tip: distress the edge by pulling at it. This causes the sides to separate. Sometimes you gotta create a tear to get them to separate enough to get it
sagrotan, Like your uncle said back in the day: blow it
EeeDawg101, I always grab a disinfecting wipe at the entrance and use it to wet my fingers so I can open them.
the_artic_one, All grocery stores actually sell a product that can help you with this, it’s called “hand lotion”.
Kolanaki, How is using hand lotion on the bag gonna make it open?
Witchfire, (edited ) You gently rub it around the lip in slow, circular motions while telling it it’s pretty
Lemminary, For the boy bags, you gotta shake 'em
AgentGrimstone, I go to the broccolis and touch the usually wet crate first.
DytallixB, Moses parted the sea faster than I separate the bag at the store
ChickenLadyLovesLife, At least the bags say “OPEN HERE”. We’d be fucked if they said “OPEN IN ZIMBABWE” or something like that.
Death_Equity, Not sure, I might have just figured out Steven Wright’s Lemmy account.
ChickenLadyLovesLife, Excuse me? That was a George Carlin joke I stole.
RIP_Cheems, How have I become a dad? I don’t even have a girlfriend.
Lucidlethargy, That’s nothing, go buy a roll of dog poop bags…
MintyAnt, Just lick your fingers. Before you touch the poop of course
ApeCavalryArt, I’ve honestly started to open the first poop bag before going out
veganpizza69, it’s called grocery bag fission
Stalinwolf, (edited ) Produce Manager here. Place the end that opens directly between your two palms, and rub your palms together vigorously. The bag will stick to one palm or both, opening every time. Please stop licking your fingers to open these bags and then picking through our vegetables. You’re gross.
Sharpiemarker, A breath of hot air also makes the bag stick to your hands and easy to separate. Like you’re trying to fog a window.
Octopus1348, I knew there will be a comment like this.
Perhapsjustsniffit, Vegetable Farmer here. That shit is already gross. Wash your veggies.
Stalinwolf, Produce Manager here. Thanks for all of the gross vegetables!
gsb, Consumer of vegetables here. Where can I find the yams?
Stalinwolf, Yam section. Can’t miss it.
TechLauren, One of the best life tips I’ve ever gotten was from some random stranger as I desperately struggled with one of these things: Most times if you slide one edge up and one edge down it pops right open even with super dry skin. Not sure why this works when sliding the halves sideways does not but it dies!
Perhapsjustsniffit, You can do this between your fingers as well. Just use a motion like you are snapping your fingers just more gentle.
NBJack, Breath on your fingers like you’re trying to fog up glass. Immediately open by running your fingers in opposite directions along the edge, using the additional friction you created.
ObviouslyNotBanana, Instructions unclear, bag is stuck in my glasses
Daxtron2, Please don’t breathe your germs onto my vegetables
snausagesinablanket, Keep my vegetables out your fucking mouth.
Ookami38, Well I hope you’re going to wash them anyway. There’s already a bunch more worse shit than a bit of breath condensation from a guy standing a few feet away breathing onto his hands.
Daxtron2, No need to add to it, you have to pick them up and I’d rather not have more germs on them from some troglodyte putting their saliva on them
smolyeet, 🤓 just wash your vegetables. Seems easier than relying on hundreds of people
Daxtron2, 🤓 no shit wash your vegetables, you still don’t need to put your fucking saliva on them
Ookami38, If you’re that concerned about every “troglodyte” out there doing anything that may remotely spread a couple of germs, I advise you wear a hazmat suit when you go out. And when you’re inside. Just, always. Life’s filthy, take precautions before you put something in your body (wash it, cook it, etc) but past that, man… good luck.
Daxtron2, Asking for a modicum of sanitary practices isn’t an absurd request.
Ookami38, A “modicum” of sanitary practices doesn’t include something as innocuous as using some breath condensation to open a bag lol. Say that to the parents not watching as their kid snots all over the place. If you wanna call someone a troglodyte, maybe reserve it for the guy who sneezes without covering. The level of harm someone does by selecting their produce, tearing off a bag, and God forbid breathing on their hands is actually nil.
Daxtron2, You can call it “innocuous” all you want, it’s still an unnecessarily unsanitary thing to do. Just because there’s worse examples of gross people doesn’t mean getting your saliva on produce in the store isn’t also gross.
lseif, after working at a supermarket you can open one in like 1s 🙏 skill issue
Desistance, This was me today. I just wanted some apples dammit.
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