memes

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yesman, in Ahhh my eyes

In case anybody doesn’t know, a good trick to avoid blindness is to close one eye until the car passes so you’ll retain your night vision in that eye. This also works great for going to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Kiosade,

What if you’re on a one lane road, and not only is there a dude with bright lights on behind you, but also there’s just a continuous stream of them in the opposing lane, all flashing you as well?

Fridgeratr,

Uhh hold on to your butt I guess

Kiosade,

Well I held onto my butt and ended up crashing into a tree… I would suggest to any one else who sees this post, don’t do that.

Fridgeratr,

Shit my bad

wieson,

My best advice is to concentrate on the line marking the outside of the road. Not much, but it’s something.

StarsBypass, in Old but gold
PerogiBoi, (edited ) in They are mine, I ordered them so I could eat them
@PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca avatar

My wife used to steal my fries but we worked out a solution that we both like. I eat my fries and if she wants them she just pecks me right under the chin repeatedly until I vomit the fries into her mouth. It works really well because they’re not fully digested at this point and I’ve already sort of pre-chewed them so she doesn’t have to do much work (hubby to the rescue right?). It’s also more economical as you only have to purchase one unit of fries and not two. This represents the successful implementation of a 50% efficiency improvement and I’m really proud of it :)

apex32, (edited ) in When will that bastard die?

It’s funny to use a Simpsons meme for this because in one episode, Homer finds Henry Kissinger’s glasses in the power plant toilet.

samus12345, (edited )
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

“No one must know I dropped zem in ze toilet. Not I, ze man who drafted ze Paris peace accord.”

admin,

I read this with Homer voice in my head.

Kurokujo, in Ahhh my eyes

Part of it is also outdated regulations. They recently updated the regulations to allow adaptive lights that turn off the parts of the led array that would blind oncoming drivers while maintaining road illumination. The technology has been around a while but the US didn’t allow car makers to use it.

zomtecos,
@zomtecos@feddit.de avatar

It wasn’t allowed in the US? Wow. Didn’t know that. In EU it’s available since about ten years. Current systems have high definition projectors with >1 million pixels which can display nearly everything on the street before you.

Ultraviolet, in Happy Holidays

It’s projection. They’re offended by “happy holidays” so they assume everyone else is equally offended by “merry Christmas”.

yum, in Old but gold

The graphics remind me of pilotredsun’s content

criticon,

Jeroom is great, unfortunately most of his content is in Dutch (unfortunate because I don’t understand it)

https://lemmy.ca/pictrs/image/03fb2655-b64a-4342-ac2f-294cede7d4ed.jpeg

CareHare,

Send me your favorite Dutch Jeroom comics and I’ll translate them. (I’m Flemish)

Yes I know how stupid this sounds.

blackluster117,
@blackluster117@possumpat.io avatar

Gesundheit.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

Thanks to portuguese, my mind keeps associating Flemish with flamingoes and flamenco.

CareHare,

I thought flamenco was Spanish.

ICastFist,
@ICastFist@programming.dev avatar

It is, but “a flemish person” would translate to “uma pessoa flamenga” in portuguese. 3 very similar sounding and written words that relate to very different things.

criticon,

Thanks. I usually type the balloons into Google translate and get a sensible chuckle out of it, or sometimes I guess the joke only works in its original language. If I see one of those I’ll ask you!

I thought he was Dutch btw, I remember he posted something about being in Amsterdam doing a show and I assumed he spoke Dutch

CareHare,

He’s Belgian, born in the Dutch speaking part of Belgium, Flanders. We speak a couple of regional dialects collected under the name Flemish. It’s basically Dutch with a twist.

Lots of comedians in Flanders also do shows in the Netherlands and the other way around. Not that many Dutch speaking people in the world, so might as well try and reach all of them I guess.

hyves,

He has a bunch of English ones on his website as well. Some of them are just the dumbest, least translatable puns though (in a good way).

For this one the joke even only works in Flemish (not Dutch).https://img.humo.be/5b4d90a19e91036d1c075caa4ea3c7ca66d032c0/een-klassieker-van-jeroom.webp

CareHare,

Cheers mate, hadn’t seen this one before!

Species8472,

Me neither. Hilarious!

MystikIncarnate, in Ahhh my eyes

My pet peeve about headlights is that auto manufacturers used the same fittings for standard and HID bulbs and allowed users to replace them of their own accord.

So plenty of places and third parties made HID bulbs for standard bulb fixtures, and people installed them thinking they would make everything better for them when driving at night. They’re the brightest and therefore the best, right? Nope.

HID bulbs should be in specific housings and fixtures which control the direction of the light better than standard bulb housings. With regular bulbs (incandescent), this isn’t a problem, since the amount of misdirected light is not enough to cause problems. When you exponentially increase the amount of light with an HID bulb, that leakage is no longer trivial, and rather blinding.

This is why I’m in support of LED headlights on cars. They’re still “blue” and very VERY bright when you’re in the cone of light they emit, but they’re usually a non-user-serviceable component. So unless someone intentionally goes and screws with their headlight alignment, they generally eliminate most issues with very bright headlights. They keep the light directed at the ground, giving the driver very good coverage of the road while not blinding oncoming drivers (mostly). The downside, IMO, is that, since the bulbs are no longer able to be changed by the user, by design, you now need to buy a whole new headlight assembly if your headlight stops working. While LEDs are generally very long lived, that life can be significantly reduced due to problems beyond your control, like manufacturing defects that can go undetected for years until suddenly the light simply stops working; costing possibly hundreds of dollars to fix, where a standard set of bulbs would be maybe $20 at most.

IMO, between this, and automatic headlights, and on some cars, automatic high beams, as long as people use those systems as intended, being blinded by headlights in most scenarios should be a thing of the past… Of course that requires that people use the systems as intended… Which is a bit like wishing for world peace. The populous unanimously agreeing to anything is basically impossible at this point. Even something as basic as “killing people is bad” is not something that everyone can agree on, since there are entire movements of people who think they should be seeking peace by killing all of the people who disagree with their position. I don’t want to name names on that, but it’s a thing that a few very notable groups fervently believe. To go into that a bit further, most would agree that anyone trying to commit the “murder, death, kill” on anyone should be stopped by any means necessary, which includes, but isn’t limited to killing the person trying to kill others; this is largely considered to be an acceptable exception to the rule, but again, not everyone agrees with that. I won’t go further with it, since I think the point is made… We can’t, as a society of people, universally agree on anything. So there will always be exceptions.

Imgonnatrythis, in Old but gold

I’m not sure if I’m supposed to get this but if I am, I don’t.

isildun,

The cops aren’t around so they can freely violate the law of gravity.

jubilationtcornpone,

There are multiple moving violations.

ImplyingImplications,

They’re breaking the laws of physics

monkE, in playgrounds and coal mines

But when the mine collapses, it’s a different story altogether.

FlihpFlorp,

But then you can become a spoopy ghost and have cool rocks for all of eternity

dan1101,

Black lung and bad joints will get you if a collapse doesn’t.

MacFearrs, (edited ) in Old but gold

Love to see a Salvatore Ganacci reference in my feed

(Unless he’s referencing something else then feel free to enlighten me)

FiFoFree,

This is the comic Salvatore based his skit on.

acastcandream, in playgrounds and coal mines

The children yearn for the mines.

Wutchilli,

Look at Minecrafts success!!!

spread, in Minionposting

I’m spreading misinformation online

Certainly_No_Brit,
db2,

Facebook will take it as fact.

Xtallll, in Minionposting
@Xtallll@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Minions were created by Dan Povenmire, who also created Phineas and Ferb.

spudwart, in playgrounds and coal mines
@spudwart@spudwart.com avatar

240k/yr !?

shreds CS degree

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