It’s not just men. My mother was pushed down the FaceTube YouBook weaponized disinformation rabbit hole.
It’s outrage porn… They LOVE being angry at ‘the system’ or ‘corporations’ or ‘the WHO’ etc. etc.
Yes, there’s a lot of stupid corrupt shit going on, but posting on social media is the most impotent thing a person could do to make a difference. (Yes, I appreciate the irony.)
I remember when I was younger and I was at basketball practice. I was nervous pretty frequently, and so I would laugh to diffuse the tension within myself. My dad was there supervising or being an assistant coach or something. Idk. But—and I remember this very clearly—the coach told me to stop smiling because “it makes you look weak.” I looked to my dad for some sort of support and he just shrugged. Fortunately, I didn’t internalize that message.
But I always remember that moment as someone trying to crush some of the boyish joy I had in life. Like, yeah, I was nervous, and laughter seemed like a perfectly reasonable solution. But my father and the coach had grown up in a very, very different environment where moments of happiness weren’t nearly as abundant as they were in my life.
For reference, my father grew up in Atlanta, GA during the Civil Rights Era as an African American. So, it definitely wasn’t all snips, snails, and puppy-dog tails. My coach (also an African American and about my dad’s age) and my father’s emotional self-mutilation was an act of survival. I get that.
But still, looking back, it sucks a lot that they reinforced that sense of danger they’d internalized over the course of their lives and tried to pass it on to me. What sucks even more is that, while I didn’t internalize that particular patriarchal message, I did internalize others.
I just want to be happy and feel safe. Why is that so much to ask?
Sitting is 10 times better. Easier to pee, no need to aim, no splash so you don’t fuck up the bathroom. But I’d use a urinal over any toilet when I’m outside because 1) it’s faster 2) I don’t want to sit down on a common toilet).
American toilets are just weird. Why do they need to evacuate into an overful lake like that? Always seems so wasteful, putting 50 litres of water into each flush too.
The oval shape is so a penis doesn’t touch the seat/bowl when you sit.
On round toilets, someone with a penis might need to touch the seat with their hands the whole time they are seated.
American toilets use a different mechanism, a siphon sucks the water out while in Europe we just dump water into it and hope it flushes. Water usage is the same as far as I know.
Water usage per flush here in Australia is significantly lower. And yet the system is cleaner and more reliable. I had never even seen a plunger until my first US visit; We don’t need them here because our toilets work, unlike the huge American toilets which clog and require too much water.
Australia, IIRC, standardized on larger drain pipe sizes, so of course your toilets don’t clog. For some reason only some commercial buildings use the larger standard here. As for water usage, my toilet uses 1.3 gallons per flush, and they sell more expensive toilets that use much less but have a stronger pressure system. If/when this toilet breaks I’ll be getting one of those most likely.
We conclude that the sitting posture is the best position for men with urination problems, e.g. due to an enlarged prostate to urinate in, whereas no difference was found in healthy men
I’ve seen a few other articles on this issue and the double standard is astounding.
If a conventional minority group struggles, they need to be helped. If it’s a man, screw them! They’re oppressive and don’t deserve help.
If men are dominant in certain fields, it’s a sign of systematic discrimination against women. If women are dominant in certain fields, then that’s just because men suck at xyz and this is just the natural outcome.
And the funny part is, I read one article about this and the editor (a middle aged woman as usual) said that this imbalanced ratio is an issue because surprise surprise young women won’t have enough men to date!
It’s almost like men’s issues only matter if it affects women, and somehow that’s the only concern.
If men are dominant in certain fields, it’s a sign of systematic discrimination against women. If women are dominant in certain fields, then that’s just because men suck at xyz and this is just the natural outcome.
I’m open to having my mind changed, but I think that might actually be true. In cases where men are dominant, we can point to specific discriminatory situations. We can see how hiring committees consist primarily or exclusively of men. We can see how popular depictions of people in [field] are all male. We can note that neurodivergent boys are far more likely to get diagnoses and support than neurodivergent girls. With the exception of certain fields like education and nursing, I can’t think of any systemic factors that discriminate against men.
I don’t think an imbalance necessarily means that we should automatically assume discrimination, for example there is a small correlation between sex and interest (men to objects, women to living things) which may account for some discrepancy in certain fields.
Hiring committees would depend but very often we see HR is majority female, and some studies show that female named job applications in certain cases may be more favoured even when the exact same application is given with a male name.
In terms of school, I can attest that boys need to stop fucking around during class time and actually pay attention, but I’ve seen another study show that for the exact same work, public school teachers sometimes mark higher for a girls work.
The last point I would make is that there are quite a few female only grants and bursaries and aid programs, but there’s very few that outright exist for males.
That’s my two cents, but I understand your perspective as well.
I think Warren Farrell especially, and a bit of Leonard Sax as well have gone into this in more detail.
Unfortunately the mainstream feminist objection is that “men should just make their own support organizations” but the problem is sometimes the government won’t give them a nickel, which I find absurd.
This guy in Calgary Canada made a men’s domestic violence shelter, (shockingly women are first statistically to initiate domestic violence, which I didn’t know). This was around 2011 or so? But the local feminists at the time online were saying that he should not feel entitled to government funding and only women’s shelters should get government funding. I think he killed himself afterwards.
So it seems like when men do band together to make a support group, it doesn’t get the same amount of government support as a women’s group will.
All of the workers shortages always come down to the same things. Money for the workers which have been sacrificed for the business to be as profitable as other businesses. I know that for something like construction this can only be done by skimping on quality or screwing over workers.
As a partially disabled man, unable to run and too weak to fight, I’m on guard a lot. It’s fucking exhausting. Yet it’s still a tiny fraction of what women experience. The entirety of unwanted attention and actions against women is too much to really comprehend for men.
What change can we make as men that will be a rising tide, lifting both men and women?
I’m very much a proponent of 2A rights. But carrying, by itself, is not going to eliminate fear, and may not even moderate it significantly. And someone that’s disabled may not be able to effectively use a firearm, and they certainly won’t be able to use one effectively with training.
Uh, what? I’m Canadian, but isn’t the Second Amendment a negative right? The government isn’t allowed to stop you from carrying a gun. You can agree with that and still think there are reasons an individual might not want to carry a gun.
I like this article but I feel like it's missing a few things. It's missing some details about how normal male sexuality is demonized by the current sex negative culture. This includes simple things such as wanting to look at porn, wanting to masterbate and being attracted to multiple people. These are demonized into saying that men are pigs and this doesn't even fit the kink desires that most men get at puberty. This are completely demonized as some perverted desire especially those unmanly submissive desires. Even the as simple desire to be watched as a sexual being. This sex negative push drives great shame and anger especially towards those who can be viewed as a sex object. This drives a hate towards women and gay men who can dress sexy or slutty while the traditional manly man can't at all.
“I think we should all wear the same exact clothes. Because it seems to be what happens eventually, anyway. Anytime you see a movie or a TV show where there’s people from the future or another planet, they’re all wearing the same outfit. I think the decision just gets made: “All right, everyone, from now on, it’s just gonna be the one-piece silver suit with the V stripe and the boots. That’s the outfit. We’re gonna be visiting other planets, we wanna look like a team here. The individuality thing is over.”
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