mensliberation

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iHUNTcriminals, (edited ) in No, It Is Not a Struggle to Find Good Male Role Models

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stepan, in The Crisis of Masculinity, Explained - Alexander Avila [1:15:57]
@stepan@lemmy.ca avatar

Warren Farrell and Scott Galloway went into this

404, in Talking Over Women

To me what stands out is not the fact that men speak up more than women do, but that women get ignored/dismissed when they do speak. I make an effort to:

  • Give them attention
  • Understand their point of view
  • Engage in their point of view
  • Not let others (men) interrupt and if they do, quickly get back to the core discussion until the speaker is satisfied/has said everything they wanted to say

Basically give your attention not to the loudest ones, but the ones that deserve it. Things like these make all people who usually don’t engage in discussions more likely to engage in the future.

CyanideShotInjection,

I think you are absolutely right. In general I think that everyone should feel comfortable to speak when they want but in return should respect that other people get the right to have their voice heard too.

sbv, in Talking Over Women

When dealing with small groups, I ask participants for their perspective by name. The loudest doesn’t go first, and everyone gets equal-ish time. That doesn’t scale to a large forum though.

gapbetweenus, (edited ) in Talking Over Women

It’s not just a gender thing, it’s also a family/culture thing. Like I just come from a family where people will talk over each other, but than I have some balkan friends who will talk over me like it’s nothing (no matter the gender). What I try to do is to adjust to the situation - if someone is quieter I will let them speak out, if someone is interrupting I will also join in in a more lively way. In a group setting if I see that someone is getting talked over - I will try to refer the conversation back to them.

QuandaleDingle, in When it comes to gender stuff, sometimes there aren’t simple solutions, and we have to be okay with that.

Good read. Gender culture’s a bitch. Pervy men even more so.

No1RivenFucker, in When it comes to gender stuff, sometimes there aren’t simple solutions, and we have to be okay with that.

Articles like this suck. They contribute absolutely nothing to discussion by just saying “well, other people also have problems too”, without even attempting to suggest any direction where a solution is.

Anamana, (edited )
@Anamana@feddit.de avatar

They contribute context? And if you have women in your life it affects you as well somehow. Tbf there’s wasn’t really anything new in it for me personally, but mb it helps someone else to be more empathetic.

No1RivenFucker,

Context and empathy doesn’t fix anything

feminalpanda,

Empathy fixes republicans at least.

Anamana,
@Anamana@feddit.de avatar

Ok and what does fix things?

No1RivenFucker,

Not putting up with bullshit just because it might hurt someone’s feelings, for one.

Anamana,
@Anamana@feddit.de avatar

Wow so edgy

No1RivenFucker,

Ahh, yes. The only possible reason I could want to make progress is because it’s edgy. How about you go somewhere else if you’re only interested in dismissing everything out of hand

Anamana, (edited )
@Anamana@feddit.de avatar

A solution which doesn’t care about context, empathy and emotions in regard to social problems is not worth much. Also you were the one dismissing anything I was contributing

iHUNTcriminals, (edited ) in Poll finds that fewer Gen Z boys identify as Feminists than Millenials-- and the same % as Gen X.

But do they identify as a non-labelled person that respects women and their choices? Or is this just about political labelling made for marketing and division?

God bless keywords and seo. /S.

No1RivenFucker, in Poll finds that fewer Gen Z boys identify as Feminists than Millenials-- and the same % as Gen X.

I mean it makes sense. Feminism has become quite the loaded term as of recent, and young people are going to be a lot more distanced from the earlier wages of feminism.

Grimpen,

That’s what I’d assume. My impression is that many Gen-Z might associate the term “Feminism” with J.K. Rowling and such, Trans-Exclusionary feminists as it were. If there were questions that could suss out concern about trans issues, or even LGBT+ issues in general, I suspect the differences between generation might match.

No1RivenFucker,

Not even getting into substantive issues, the people who loudly proclaim their feminism online are usually total fucking jackasses since honest people see little need to hide behind the concept of “feminism”, as if it’s a shield against criticism.

Overall, a more substantive survey would just be better. Or really anything beyond “self ID with a broad and contentious label”.

mysoulishome, in Poll finds that fewer Gen Z boys identify as Feminists than Millenials-- and the same % as Gen X.
@mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

I don’t know how much I trust AEI’s motivation, methods or conclusions. The same survey also shows gen z are much less likely to go to church, less likely to drink and smoke, less likely to have a girlfriend/boyfriend…and gen x and boomers are more likely to do all of that. Is it true? Probably. But when you are asking a 19 year old and a 59 year old the same question…how do you even calculate what the answer means?

Currently Gen Z included aa young as 11. Are they polling 13 year olds? Because I definitely give zero shits what 13 year old boys think.

And are they polling teenage gen x’ers as well?

Rodeo,

shows gen z are much … less likely to drink and smoke … Currently Gen Z included aa young as 11

It’s like they think 11 year olds are heading to the bar after school.

CaptObvious,

Teenage Gen X? Do you think they have a time machine?

mysoulishome, (edited )
@mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

Yes I’m joking because the very premise of comparing the age groups with specific questions is problematic. “Are you a feminist” doesn’t mean the same thing to someone born in 2002 as it does someone born in 1972.

If you ask me…a 40-something man, I say yes I’m a feminist because I want you to know I am an ally and support women. If you ask a 16 year old, I would doubt the word means much to them at all. But I bet they will be more supportive of women than our generation anyway.

CaptObvious,

Language changes with time, not with birth year. While someone born in 1972 certainly has much more life experience and context than someone born in 2002, the question today will mean approximately the same thing to both.

No1RivenFucker,

Not really, no. People aren’t working off some master database of language that pushes updates out universally. They’re working from their own understanding based on their own life experiences. Someone born in 1973 will have a very different socialization and bundle of personal experiences than someone born in 2002.

CaptObvious,

People aren’t working off some master database of language that pushes updates out universally.

Actually, they pretty much are. Think about it: Language would pretty much fall apart otherwise.

Source: I’m a linguist.

toast,

Makes sense. If not, we’d see evidence of miscommunication in the world

No1RivenFucker,

True. Obviously we all know that never happens

mysoulishome,
@mysoulishome@lemmy.world avatar

It definitely won’t

Grimpen,

I believe our adventure through time has taken a most serious turn.

CaptObvious,

Most excellent! 😁

LostWon, (edited )

-Execute them!
-Bogus. 😯

Tigbitties, in Poll finds that fewer Gen Z boys identify as Feminists than Millenials-- and the same % as Gen X.
@Tigbitties@kbin.social avatar

Ask anyone under 30 if they're a feminist and most would say no. Ask them if they believe women should have equal rights and they'd say, "Duh".

i_stole_ur_taco, in Poll finds that fewer Gen Z boys identify as Feminists than Millenials-- and the same % as Gen X.

Gen-X men see eye-to-eye with male Gen-Zers. An identical 43 percent of men in that bracket call themselves feminists, compared to 49 percent of the generation’s women.

I feel like the authors think these 2 sentences are supporting the same argument, and I think they do not.

Asking someone if they “identify as a feminist” is vastly different than exploring their core values. “Feminism” is a badly exploited word that means many different things to many different people, even within a generational cohort.

It’s entirely possible that the sample of Gen-Xers that identify as feminist also carry more regressive beliefs than Gen-Zers that said they were not feminists.

The way this study was summarized in the article smells a lot like an older author (read: Gen-X or Boomer) trying to make sense of Gen-Z by plopping them into buckets created for the older generation.

I don’t know anything about anything, but this smelled less of science than an article reporting a study ought to.

gapbetweenus, in Poll finds that fewer Gen Z boys identify as Feminists than Millenials-- and the same % as Gen X.

Feminism is also not a useful term anymore - since people have vastly different definitions.

Sumater,

It’s probably better used as a label for a collection of movements than any singular one.

gapbetweenus,

Problem is, people using this term might simply no understand each other, since they might mean quite different things.

ChonkyOwlbear, (edited ) in Opinion | Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like.

A big part is diminishing religiosity. There is little point in getting married if you aren’t religious. Thanks to progress made by LGBT couples, most of the legal benefits of marriage are shared by domestic partnerships. Traditionalists on the left and the right make a big deal of this, but it is of negligible factual importance.

dumples,
@dumples@kbin.social avatar

I don't think most people who get married do it for religious reasons or even to start a family in the US anymore. People do it since they see it a formal a commitment and want to announce their love in public.

mumblerfish,

That only covers one angle, if people do it for religious reasons, not if they don’t do it because of religion. I’m not getting married, and the religious connotations of even a secular wedding is a significant chunk of why.

Jimmyeatsausage,

There’s also a million legal reasons to get married… If there weren’t, same sex marriage would probably have never made it to the Supreme Court. Everything from insurance coverage, employment benefits, credit rating, child custody, transfer of property following death, medical decisions, and a bunch of other very secular, very important benefits are conferred via legal marriage.

CleoTheWizard,
@CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world avatar

Is there any way to adapt this better for polyamorous people? I have poly friends that got around it by choosing a primary partner and marrying them, but that seems like a bad solution in the long term.

dumples,
@dumples@kbin.social avatar

I don't think that is going to be happening for a long time. It took decades for gays and lesbians. The marrying of a primary partner is the best solution so far.

Donkter,

I’m pretty sure it’s pretty clear that the slight increase in domestic partnerships over marriage does not shore up the declining marriage rates.

zarathustra0, in Opinion | Why Aren’t More People Getting Married? Ask Women What Dating Is Like.

I like the suggestion that we concern ourselvrs more with the quality of men’s internal lives, but I do worry we’re still objectifying men as ‘the problem’.

dumples,
@dumples@kbin.social avatar

Navigating interpersonal relationships in a time of evolving gender norms and expectations “requires a level of emotional sensitivity that I think some men probably just lack, or they don’t have the experience,” he added.

I like the quote above about this topic but it does still seem like men are the problem. The problem is that we as a society haven't taught those skills and worse yet reinforce the opposite. We should be concerned with men's internal lives and mold them to fit into modern society

Franzia,

Seriously. We can’t just call men “the problem”. We have to address the problems men are having in their social lives and in dating. Men are not being given a fair shot to bring their best selves.

Dkarma,

This is hilariously delusional. Delete this post.

Redhotkurt,
@Redhotkurt@kbin.social avatar

It'll stop once it stops being a problem. FTA:

He had recently read about a high school creative writing assignment in which boys and girls were asked to imagine a day from the perspective of the opposite sex. While girls wrote detailed essays showing they had already spent significant time thinking about the subject, many boys simply refused to do the exercise or did so resentfully.

I mean, we're not just talking about the ability to communicate (which is important), but the basic ability to empathize. If men (in general) are unwilling to even consider the female point of view, is it any wonder why women have a difficult time dating? This isn't happening in a vacuum; there are real reasons why this is happening.

zarathustra0,

Think of the structural issues which have caused this to be the case. Blaming men for not achieving an externally defined target isn’t going to help anyone.

Hate the game, not the player.

snooggums, (edited )
@snooggums@kbin.social avatar

Boys refusing to do an exercise about imagining a day as the other gender represents a social problem, not a men problem. High school boys who refuse to imagine themselves as someone else were taught to be resistant to that idea, and not only by men but society as a whole.

Redhotkurt,
@Redhotkurt@kbin.social avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • dumples,
    @dumples@kbin.social avatar

    Agreed. No one's to blame but should work on fixing it

    HikingVet,

    Maybe we stop with top down one size fits all solutions to human interaction? The article is a good example of part of the problem, as it seems to exonerate one group while putting all the onus for change on the other. Mainly by it having essentially a single position from all them people that the author uses as sources and references and the narrow scope that they actually show.

    Surp,
    @Surp@lemmy.world avatar

    You couldn’t be more in your own echo chamber. If other men are telling you woman also act the same way as some men and also have issues and you refuse to see another position or point of view you are the problem.

    No1RivenFucker,

    I would hesitate to draw conclusions from something like that. Both me and a lot of the other men I know just flat out skipped basically every assignment like that if it didn’t give enough points to be worth the effort, from middle school up through college.

    Beyond that, it just seems like a shitty assignment as a whole. Because either a) it’s done under an assumption that their day as the opposite sex would be spontaneous, and thus would have very few relevant differences from their normal days (and we can easily guess those differences) or b) it’s done under an assumption of having always been the opposite sex, in which case it would just be an exercise in the butterfly effect, since huge amounts of things would be different, to the point that any generic hypothetical day would work.

    All this is to say, it’s a prime assignment for skipping

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