plenipotentprotogod,
don,

Are there handguns small enough to fit inside a Petri dish? Or do you just aim the handgun at the Petri dish? Does the handgun need to be loaded? If it must be loaded, will blanks suffice? Does a larger caliber reduce the time needed to aim the handgun at the Petri dish? Is there a specific distance to the dish from which one must aim the handgun? Are rifles, shotguns, and machine guns specifically excluded? Will a sword work? It’s generally made of the same kind of material as a handgun. Is it necessary to stand on a chair while wearing a lab coat while aiming the handgun? Can two hands be used to aim the handgun? Does engaging the handgun’s safety have any effect on the contents of the Petri dish?

XKCD’s not being very helpful.

Icalasari,

Blank probably would work. Those can still kill at point blank

misterundercoat,

If we just go around shooting cancer cells, we’ll end up with bullet-resistant super-cancers.

Iron_Lynx,

If we can harvest those to make ballistic vests, then I see opportunities.

rockerface,

So, like Venom?

1024_Kibibytes,

I don’t know of any handguns small enough to fit into a petri dish. The handgun must be loaded and fired at the petri dish. A large caliber will be easier to aim since it would decrease the need for accuracy. Close range is a better distance. Shotguns and machine guns would do an even better job, rifles are fine. A sword decreases the likelihood of destroying a virus because of its low energy. Standing on a chair while wearing a lab coat makes you look cooler. Two hands can be used to aim the gun if it helps you. The handgun will not fire with the safety on, thus decreasing the probability of destroying the virus.

gibmiser,

They don’t want you to know it works, but I’ve been microdosing lava for years now. Now everything tastes the same and I can fly.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

How are your shits?

gibmiser,

Well… turns out tiny shards of volcanic rock are sharp enough to make surgical scalpels. So, colorful.

fossilesque,
@fossilesque@mander.xyz avatar

Well, I’m convinced.

don,

Technically a close-range gamma ray burst can kill coronavirus, but there’s a good reason no one is using it for that purpose: it’s a goddamned close-range gamma ray burst.

Coasting0942,

I am confused? Suffer not the non-human to live

PunnyName,

Oh, look at Big Astronomy trying to tell me how I should practice Extinction Level Events.

Fuck you B.A., I’ll go extinct however I wanna!

nxdefiant,

You can have a little extinction, as a treat.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot,

You want Hulks? 'Cause that’s how you get Hulks.

Ranvier, (edited )

Appoint this internet commenter as surgeon general of Florida! We must get the truth out about medicinal lava!

frezik,

That commenter already is the surgeon general of Florida.

Imgonnatrythis,

Fuck it’s hard to keep up with modern medicine. Here I am like a fool still drinking bleach.

hitmyspot,

Why are you still drinking it?.did you not shine a light up your bum? It should be one and done treatment, not ongoing. Do you even do your own research?

Imgonnatrythis,

My research confirms my hypothesis 100% of the time (if your doesn’t, you aint researching hard enough) and if 5g is still out there you should still drink the bleach.

Nobody,

My sister’s baby’s daddy’s cousin’s roommate drank lava, and it cured his cancer. Then, he quit taking drugs. Why does Big Geology support cancer and drug addiction?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA,
@HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world avatar

Every time you tell this story you leave out the fact his testicle (yeah he only got one) swole up to the size of a basketball and I think that’s pretty important

metaStatic,

They've played us for absolute fools

Wogi,

This is such bullshit. You can’t drink lava.

It’s really more like a soft taffy. You eat it. I eat lava all the time and I’m FINE. eat the lava kids

sooper_dooper_roofer, (edited )

technically lava can kill coronavirus

is this really a forbes article? actually it’s probably more truthful than usual

1024_Kibibytes,

It is really a Forbes article:

forbes.com/…/can-lava-kill-the-coronavirus-an-inv…

Apparently it came about after Trump suggested drinking bleach.

sooper_dooper_roofer,

the floor is lava, and coronavirus can’t touch it

xantoxis, (edited )

Why is this forbes article written like the author’s brother-in-law suggested lava as a cure for covid and he rolled his eyes and went “Now I gotta debunk THIS shit.”

mkhopper,
@mkhopper@lemmy.world avatar

You can’t drink lava from plastic glasses.

Kase,

You can’t stop me from trying

Imgonnatrythis,

Plastic is bad for the environment and our bodies anyway.

otp,

Yup. And to complement this, gotta love when people react to the side effects of water!

jaschen,

https://lemmynsfw.com/pictrs/image/b2090b6c-0e77-419f-be41-b2e2e5bf1504.webp

Looks like the Pompeiians figured it out before we all did.

LeninsBeard,

Next they’re gonna tell me to stop throwing my used car batteries in the ocean

1984

Hatandwatch,
@Hatandwatch@hexbear.net avatar

I will take a bottle of fresh organic mineral lava!

crsu,

Big geology? You mean Dominos pizza?

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