Pretty good start to my week, started talking to a girl on bumble on Saturday that is way outta my league that matched with me first, we’re gonna meet up on Sunday and walk my dog and chat.
She is so fucking adorable though it’s unbeliveable, she’s asexual however which may be an issue if we go into any actual relationship as sex is reasonably important to me (I think) but it depends on exactly what type of asexual person she is and her personal feelings/desires on it, I’m wondering when the best time to ask her that would be…
Depression and anxiety definitely has something to do with it in my case but what’s weird is that I don’t have any desire for sex whatsoever. It’s 100% just a habit/addiction/distraction. I hardly even get any pleasure from it and without an exception feel absolutely shit afterwards. Then I hit rock bottom and stop doing it for few weeks but as the first signs of healing start appearing meaning I can feel the tiniest amount of horniness again I then relapse and the loop starts all over again.
Been without about a week now, again, and I’m about at the point where it starts getting hard again. By it I don’t mean IT.
This isn’t new though, many boomers were the hippies at one point, they had the photocopier, fairness doctrine TV & Radio and liberal attitudes for sex, gender, and civil rights.
But the same tactics were used to stop and convert many of them, plus around half of them were the same sort of assholes that give them a bad name now.
-Gender Queer would be banned from my old schools if the blowjob depicted on pg 167 was between a straight couple too, even despite the fact that it’s “strap on play” not “an actual blowjob.” It’s also rated 14+, so I could see why it wouldn’t be allowed in elementary and middle school libraries.
-All Boys Aren’t Blue I couldn’t pirate, so I can’t say beyond what I read about the book, which I don’t like to make opinions based on. So far all I have is an explitive count that would have this one banned in my old schools too.
-The Bluest Eye, seems well written, but “He wanted to fuck her—tenderly. But the tenderness would not hold. The tight- ness of her vagina was more than he could bear. His soul seemed to slip down to his guts and fly out into her, and the gigantic thrust he made into her then provoked the only sound she made—a hollow suck of air in the back of her throat. Like the rapid loss of air from a circus balloon. Following the disintegration—the falling away—of sex- ual desire, he was conscious of her wet, soapy hands on his wrists, the fingers clenching, but whether her grip was from a hopeless but stubborn struggle to be free, or from some other emotion, he could not tell. Removing himself from her was so painful to him he cut it short and snatched his genitals out of the dry harbor of her vagina. She appeared to have fainted. Cholly stood up and could see only her grayish panties, so sad and limp around her ankles. Again the hatred mixed with tenderness. The hatred would not let him pick her up, the tenderness forced him to cover her. So when the child regained consciousness, she was lying on the kitchen floor under a heavy quilt, trying to connect the pain between her legs with the face of her mother looming over her.” would have this banned in my old schools too.
-Flamer I have queued up for download right now, 2697th in line but it should go quick.
-Looking for Alaska, also in queue.
-Perks of Being a Wallflower I saw the movie and it definitely wouldn’t have been shown in my schools until at least highschool. Movie was alright though, I may read the book.
-Lawn Boy: "Goddamn-fucking-cunt-fuck-shit-ass-fucker!” I yelled. Yup, that’ll do it.
-The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, couldn’t pirate.
-out of darkness, couldn’t pirate.
-A Court of Mist and Fury: “I’ve had a long, long time to think about how and where | want you,” Rhys said onto the skin of my neck, his fingers Sliding under the band of my pants, but stopping just beneath. Their home for the evening. “I have no intention of doing it all in one night. Or in a room where | can’t even fuck you against the wall.”
-Crank, I can see why the rape scene would have it banned especially in elementary and middle schools, but high schools probably need this one lol.
-Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl, couldn’t pirate.
-This book is gay: The author claims we’re taught about straight sex at age 10, and this isn’t exactly untrue, it just was a bit different than:
Handies: Perhaps the most important skill you will master as a gay or bi man is the timeless classic, the hand job. The good news is, you can practise on yourself. The bad news is, each guy has become very used to his own way of getting himself off. Learning how to find a partner’s personal style can take ages, but it can be very rewarding when you do.
Something they don’t teach you in school is that, in order to be able to cum at all, you or your partner may need to finish off with a handie. A lot of people find it hard to cum through other types of sex. This is fine, and certainly not something you have to apologise for.
A GOOD HANDIE is all about the wrist action. Rub the head of his cock back and forth with your hand. Try different speeds and pressures until he responds positively.
A BAD HANDIE is grasping a todger and shaking it like a ketchup bottle.
Finally, my misunderstanding about rubbing two peens together wasn’t far off the mark – rubbing them together in one hand feels awesome – MEGACOMBOHANDIE (trademark pending).
TIP: If your partner is circumcised (‘cut’) you will want to try a drop of lube – remember he hasn’t got as much skin to move around as uncut guys.
Blowies: Oral sex is popping another dude’s peen in your mouth or, indeed, popping yours in his. There is only one hard and fast rule when it comes to blowies – WATCH THE TEETH. Lips and tongue, yes; teeth, NO"
I can see why that would be banned from school libraries as well. It is to say the least “different” than said sex education classes at 10yo. I’m fairly certain that if any teacher said “Oral sex is when the women pops the man’s peen in his mouth, or indeed, popping her puss in his. There is only one rule ladies, no teeth. (to straightify it)” to a group of 10yos they’d be fired on the spot.
Now, we can have the conversation on if “America’s puritanical views on sex and profanity need to change,” and I probably agree depending on what you mean (some people use that stance in an attempt to lower the age of consent so you have to be careful before agreeing), but as it stands now I’m not surprised any of the books I was able to access are not allowed in school libraries (which is what “banned” in this context means, because they are not banned for sale or ownership anywhere in America thanks to the first amendment, you are not banned from providing them to your children, and they’re available in most if not all public libraries that are not school libraries), and as they’d be banned if they were all straight sex scenes or straight people saying “cunt” I’m hesitant to claim homophobia specifically, rather I think it’s the same run of the mill puritanical views that got Tipper Gore all hot and bothered over Jello Biafra and H. R. Giger.
I wish I could have got access to the entire list, and with a bit of work I probably could, and I think having a centralized place for kids to easily pirate (read: get free access) to these banned books on their own would be a great thing, but I’m not surprised they’re banned especially if the rest of the books follow the theme of “sexually explicit regardless of sexuality and contains words that get you sent to the office for repeating.”
What’s the difference between selling your body to be used and abused, and doing sex work? Either way, you’re selling your physical form and mental energies to someone else, but at least with sex work you get to get off.
That’s because human beings in western society are wierdly messed up over sex.
Though in my case I figured out the consistent common beats of flirting / courting in my late twenties and realized when I was sixteen my aunt was totally hitting on me.
So a combination of societal sexual hang ups, neurodivergence and family social dysfunctiob kept me celibate until 26.
Porn sites Pornhub, XVideos, and Stripchat face stricter requirements to verify the ages of their users after being officially designated as “Very Large Online Platforms” (VLOPs) under the European Union’s Digital Services Act (DSA)....
Snake oil salesmen never had it so good. Without the layers of abstraction provided by computers, nobody would've believed their magic elixirs would protect children from getting interested in sex until their parents approved of it.
People will judge you for it in most situations (aka when it’s not a necessity out of emergency) but you’re not likely to be charged for it and for sure not with anything sex related because… pissing isn’t sexual.
Do I like the lease model that we have been living with for the past 30-40 years? No. I can’t argue it is fundamentally broken (see “30-40 years”) but it does lead to corner cases like the insanity impacting all streaming services at this point. And that is why I love “physical media” that I can rip and put on a plex server.
But I hate this “argument” almost as much as I hate “There is no ethical consumption under capitalism”. It has nothing to do with either a philosophical discussion or an attempt to make things better and is just a way for people to feel good about taking the easy way out.
Because, much like with “piracy is for preservation of video games”, it begins with the false premise of what the media being consumed is. We aren’t talking about a book (… except when we are). We are talking about something a lot closer to a stage show at a theatre. You don’t own every production of Hamlet ever made just because you bought a ticket once. Hell, you don’t even own every production by the 14th Street Acting Troupe. You own that night’s production where Wendy’s boob popped out of her top and Sean couldn’t score any blow before the show and so forth.
This argument is basically saying that there are no moral or ethical* concerns with holding up a camcorder in a theatre or outright jumping the ticket stand because you wouldn’t own it anyway.
And before people start claiming that it is digital media so it is always the same, it isn’t. Remember how we apparently went from Game of Thrones being THE GREATEST HOUR OF TELEVISION EVER MADE during Battle of the Bastards to it being THE ABSOLUTE WORST PIECE OF DOGSHIT EVER CREATED when nobody could see what was going on because all the blacks of the ice zombie war were crushed worse than all the redshirts Jon-boy climbed on in the previous episode? HBO Max isn’t (entirely) paying for the ability to rewatch a guy fuck his aunt any time we want (heh, who remembers all the sex shows on HBO?). It is about being part of that discussion. It is about “experiencing” people who have never seen a war movie that didn’t star Channing Tatum lose their mind over horror. It is about being part of the discussion on what HDR even is. And that is why a lot of film makers really dislike how many people will never see a movie in theatres and instead watch it on a cell phone screen.
But also: If you want to pirate, just fucking pirate. I have a set of “rules” that I use to decide when I pirate versus buy stuff, but I am not going to pretend I am morally righteous for having the 90s Battletech cartoon on my plex server.
Which mostly speaks to people being REALLY immature and incapable of acknowledging they do good and bad. The discussion is always “this isn’t piracy” rather than “Who fucking cares if it is piracy?”. Because even thinking for a moment that you did a “bad” (and then not caring) is beyond people.
As for why I wish people would reassess and actually critically think? Mostly because the bog standard neckbeard “Achshually, I am morally righteous and smarter than you” is fucking annoying. But partly because that is how you actually get feedback out there. I’ve gotten the Netflix “sorry to see you go, can you tell us why?” card a few times. And every time I answer a variation of “You fund awesome shows that I want to watch and I have no problem paying 20 or even 40 bucks for a season of The Last Kingdom. But I am not going to pay that every month. Which puts me into the weird case of deciding I will buy a month of Hulu instead because, even if their shows aren’t as good, they have enough of them to ‘justify’ the month.”. Which probably goes in a bin, but hopefully leads to thoughts on whether Glass Onion should get a blu-ray release and so forth.
*: Remember kids, ethics are not morality. And if you do have an ethical system that justifies this, cool. But that is the kind of thing that takes serious thought and constant reevaluation.
I was already having issues with what the church taught about gay people. One of the priests at my college church likened sex before marriage to child sex trafficking, saying premarital sex directly lead to child sex trafficking. I walked out in the middle of the sermon.
I was still on the fence about if I was Catholic or not afterwards, it was all I knew growing up after all. I went to history class that next semester and learned the Bible was just piecemealed together by a bunch of old white men in the 16th 4th Century during the council of nicea. There is literally no way to tell who actually wrote the stories in the Bible, much less determine their validity because the stories were put together in a single book hundreds of years after they were written. On top of that, if a story didn’t fit what these guys decided the Catholic faith was supposed to be, they threw it out!
The Bible isn’t the word of God, it’s some dudes in the 16th 4th century’s head cannon.
That pretty much sealed the deal for me. If there is some divine force, it certainly wasn’t going to speak to me through this book or this faith.
Then to add insult to injury, in that same class I learned about the history about how the Christian faith came about, and how they basically just chose one of many Mesopotamian gods and decided he was the one true God and propagandized and crusaded their way into making people accept their beliefs. All of it was just decided and shaped by humans, and none of it was “divine” as I was taught. It was all a lie.
I never heard of the jelly bracelet thing, but now I’m thinking about how that sort of thing can be way stronger than it looks.
I have some TPU filament that’s stretchy enough to feel flimsy, but after I realized I somehow couldn’t snap it, it became kind of a strength challenge. The strongest guy I know couldn’t snap it, and he bent a 36" pipe wrench once. But then again, there weren’t sex acts on the line.
The UN sponsored report uses a pretty liberal definition of slavery to include things like wage theft (which forces workers to stay at a job until they’re fully compensated), sex trafficking, and domestic servitude where the servant’s documents are confiscated so that they can’t flee.
However, there’s still a hell of a lot whips and chains slavery in Africa and South East Asia. Those slaves serve the excavation and manufacturing industries.
Well, certainly not everyone agrees that people should be entitled to an opinion here, because we have science on that shit. And science tells us that nature is messy.
Whether we’re talking about psychological gender or biological sex, proclaiming that there’s only two categories is provably false. It’s like proclaiming that all colors are either orange or blue.
I guess, you’re allowed to be wrong. Hell, you’re even allowed to be wrong publicly. But if you are, you’re not entitled to not being corrected.
While I think the world is enriched by people who get joy from their partners having crazy sex with others, cuckoo birds are a menace to all of aviankind, to the point that they other birds will hue and cry to chase them out of dodge.
Bit embarrassed to admit this, but I used to seriously believe I had the ability to read woman’s minds.
I used to walk into a party/bar and instantly know if I was going to have sex with a particular woman. This was virtually infallible. (Disclaimer: This didn’t happen every time I went to a party, nor did I necessarily choose the woman, but every time I felt that feeling I was right.)
Turns out many years later I realized I just had a good understanding of woman’s body language. And could tell when a woman found me attractive enough, and was horny enough, to let me pick her up.
FTR I do feel foolish for ever thinking I had some supernatural ability with women, but I was somewhat attractive and charming, so that went to my head.
I know it is not your question but… Everyone says pockets for women’s fashion but that is not the most important. At least here in the US the most important is having proper sizes on clothes.
For the most part men’s clothes let you pick things right. You know your waist and inseam for pants, and often have a proper size for shirts and collars.
Women’s fashion often has no size other than the ambiguous s/m/l/xl indicator and teen/woman’s/plus often use the same tag to indicate wildly different sizes. On top of that, when close use a measurement it is not grounded in reality, so a 14 at one shop may be a 16 at another, and neither are a direct measure of your waist. Finally women’s pants only come in 3 lengths (petite, tall, or not specified) and it is difficult to find most combinations.
The best thing we could do for fashion in any sex is to standardize sizes globally and make them all based on a tape measure measurement. That way you could buy 32x30 pants online knowing they will fit, no matter the brand.
Usually we are good, sexwise, bit's becoming apparent something is off this year. She thinks the issue is poor health which is probably a component, especially in past sessions but tonight I was getting increasingly frustrated and just didn't speak up. I don't know where to turn to for advice on this. Essentially I was doing all...
As you might already know, the key is communication. As you described, nobody took the chance to say anything and that lead to frustration. Therefore it is so important to have an after talk. Try to think about your emotions and thoughts you had during the act to prepare for this, but also consider the general things in your relationship. Often the problem lies a bit deeper and might not even be connected to sexual things.
Try to be open and understanding, first think about what you could have done wrong. Formulate your sentences like this, send "I-messages" not "You-messages". Take your partners thoughts seriouelsy. Create an atmosphere where both of you feel they can be honest.
You mention "poor health" could be a factor. This has two components that are important for sex, one is fitness, the other one is attractiveness. Have you considered your wife has a point here? When married people often change, eat more, do less sports, they gain weight etc. This can happen without yourself realizing. Be honest with yourself, make a check and see if you are still happy with your fitness and body form. If yo are not, who knows, maybe your wife is ready to support you somehow? You would wonder how sexy it can be when someone just says "I was working out for 1 hour straight today" - you don't even have to wait for results.
You are starting to reflect upon yourself, and that's a great thing! Good luck for you!
"Kite Flying" by Twonks Comic (lemm.ee)
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how's your week going, Beehaw
it has been a pretty quiet week, although there was excellent schadenfreude yesterday from Ron Desantis dropping out
Me IRL (sh.itjust.works)
We hit one third of boomers being dead in the last few days. (lemmy.world)
incendar.com/baby_boomer_deathclock.php
Inspiration (startrek.website)
Banned books (lemmy.world)
18+ What do you think about the porn industry ?
You are great (lemmy.world)
W.... Will they stream it? (lemmy.world)
Those who chose "never" in a "now or never" moment. How is it going for you?
Thanks for sharing, and happy holidays
[Discussion] How do you feel about age verification on Porn sites? (lemmings.world)
Porn sites Pornhub, XVideos, and Stripchat face stricter requirements to verify the ages of their users after being officially designated as “Very Large Online Platforms” (VLOPs) under the European Union’s Digital Services Act (DSA)....
Be careful when you go for a pee (i.imgflip.com)
Pluralistic: “If buying isn’t owning, piracy isn’t stealing” (pluralistic.net)
Former religious lemmings, what made you quit religion or stop being a believer?
Mostly trying to relate.
soak and jump hump (feddit.de)
Slavery: still a thing (lemmy.zip)
Mark me down as scared and horny (startrek.website)
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Uhhh oh (lemmy.ca)
followed a megathread link from r/piratedgames
Free sex... (party)*… Become poor dog (lemmy.world)
What's your real-life superpower?
What special ability do you posess that most people don’t have?
What's something you'd change in men's fashion, given the chance? (lemmy.ca)
Lil’ cross-post from Lemmy.ca....
wife and I had a bad session tonight and I need advice.
Usually we are good, sexwise, bit's becoming apparent something is off this year. She thinks the issue is poor health which is probably a component, especially in past sessions but tonight I was getting increasingly frustrated and just didn't speak up. I don't know where to turn to for advice on this. Essentially I was doing all...