EmoDuck

@EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works

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EmoDuck,

Hate it when I order a Ristretto but the waiter brings an espresso. Great, now I am 5% more energized than I wanted to be

EmoDuck,

OP noticed the weirdly flat looking lamp

EmoDuck,

No, the government will beam harmful rays into your eyes that make them hurt and force you to look away. Wake up, sheeple

EmoDuck,

My dog tore up the remote so we were forced to use the roku app to control the tv.

Force your dog to watch ads as a punishment

EmoDuck,

No, they got a table for 13 people but decided to all sit on one side for when the picture was taken. Look at how crowded it is.

Source: I worked at that restaurant when Jesus came though. Terrible tipper, got what was coming for him

EmoDuck, (edited )

Classic case of survivorship bias

People back in the day had just as much terrible advice as we have today, it’s just that the only one that survived long enough to survive to the present day is the really good advice

But to answer the question, anything related to the ingestion of mercury

EmoDuck,

I don’t, I’m actually Amish. I’m writing to you from a steam powered thinking machine

EmoDuck,

This is a DC only household

EmoDuck,

In this economy?

EmoDuck,

Are you trying to jaslight me?

EmoDuck,

Spoken like a man who’s never set a horse on fire

EmoDuck,

What’s the procedure then? Arrest, pressing charges, payments or other punishment I (blissfully ignorantly) assume

EmoDuck,

Well, that’s what you get for being a menace to society, you punk

EmoDuck,

Small addendum, it’s not quite a Charisma buff. Instead, you sometimes get special dialogue related to your perks which looks like this:

[Confirmed Bachelor] “Why yes, I also like to play ‘hide the snake’”

[Barter] “I’m not gay, but 20 caps is 20 caps”

“Sorry, not interested”

EmoDuck,

Nice argument Asuka. Unfortunately for you I masturbated over your naked comatosed body

EmoDuck,

Do I keep my velocity relative to earth if I teleport? Because if would really suck if I teleported from one side of the equator to the other one and am suddenly moving at 3300 km/h

EmoDuck,

I’m not american so the only Bulge I know is the one that furrys like to nuzzle

EmoDuck,

And now there are hundreds of people breeding cobras…

EmoDuck,

Someone gave me a Hello Fresh gift code. It doesn’t fully cover the large meal plan so I have the choise of paying 5 bucks extra or taking the smaller deal and leaving money in the table

EmoDuck,

I haven’t found any glitches yet but then again, it’s not like I’ve found anything interesting period. I keep finding cool setups but as soon as I try to dive deeper I realize that there just isn’t any substance. This game has a million rabbit holes, all just a few inches deep

EmoDuck, (edited )

This guy does recaps and is actually good. Like, so good that he’s worth watching on his own

EmoDuck,

Bonus points if you say it when entering the operating room, when given the anesthesia and a third time during the surgery itself

EmoDuck,

The worst part is all the investment I had into it. Not just emotional investment but also time spend getting to know the lore and coming up with theories

EmoDuck,

Well, green energy tends to be a bit more pricy

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