Agreed. We did the same. We talked about that we wanted kids. We talked about finances. I told her if I ever had kids I wanted to be married. It makes custody and a lot of things simpler, finances easier and once you got kids you are bound together anyways. She agreed and said if and when we make it to that she would love got me to propose and all that.
Then when we decided we were ready for kids after moving to a bigger apartment a few years later and all I proposed to her during a vacation. She didn’t expect it but it basically was all as we talked about. I got 2 silver rings with our favourite gems in it and a sentence engraved that meant something to us on the inside and some other small fancy details. Luckily her favourite gem was amethysts as those are cheap. I even snuck out one of her favourite earrings to get a color match to that one. It was like 500 total in a custom ring shop where the local bikers gets their membership rings made. I was told and shown by the bikers once that the ring making lady was the best in town. They were right.
My wife liked the engagement rings so much she wanted to keep them as wedding rings. So I guess I did well enough.
Leaving to be cooled goods in unrefrigerated places I agree. However as a dad I know it’s just not possible to bring back every damn item the kids grabbed on some days when they got a rebellious phase. I’d rather leave one Kinder egg on the shelf somewhere and do everyone the favor of getting my yelling kid out of the store quickly than bring it back while they got 3 new things they absolutely need to survive.
I called it the statistical approach. I messaged any woman I found visually attractive or that seemed interesting and fun through their description. Didn’t limit myself to one app and in messages always made it clear I was looking for a relationship in real life and wasn’t looking to chat for long. I probably messaged around 20 to 40 people a day. Got a positive message back around every 2 days or so. So one in 2 days roughly. Sometimes less, sometimes more. I had a several dates during the course of half a year or so ranging from fun to boring to catastrophic. Some casual hookups happened but it was rare. Sometimes dating lasted for a few weeks but didn’t work out. Then eventually I met my now wife and mother of my kids.
Online dating is still bs but I found this approach to work for me.
For anyone who is interested in how it actually feels. Or at least felt for me. One day I noticed I haven’t had a really bad day in a while. It kind of crept up on me as slow and gradual change. That’s it.