One of my cats (who is very sweet but a tad mentally handicapped) likes to try to get into people’s food while they’re eating it. Especially my toddler’s, who is an easy target. Poultry and sliced turkey are her most popular choices. She had a bit of a rough life before we wound up with her, and has a mild food insecurity (when it suits her) and what seems like a streak of ferality despite her love for affection.
Anyway, whenever I catch her sneaking a piece of food off a plate, I go, “GET OUTTA HERE, YA FUCKIN’ RAT!”, and she runs off, sometimes with a piece of food, then stops to devour it and/or furiously lick her feet and play it off cool. It’s annoying, but she’s loved, and I guess at the end of the day the vibe just wouldn’t be right it she wasn’t a fuckin’ rat every now and then.
It’s the sodium that will get her one of these days. But ya live like a rat, ya fuckin’ die like a rat.
This is bringing back memories of not only finding the same thing, but also of the turd that I found in my front flower box one February that was full of cables.
This is like every modern Christmas movie where they think kids won’t get it unless Santa’s sleigh no longer runs on old magic, but on futuristic technology, guages, panels, samouflanges and discombobulators.
Produce Manager here. Place the end that opens directly between your two palms, and rub your palms together vigorously. The bag will stick to one palm or both, opening every time. Please stop licking your fingers to open these bags and then picking through our vegetables. You’re gross.
I don’t honestly know why it feels so weird. I guess maybe because it feels a little self-serving and silly. Like, asking for a massage serves a function to relieve muscle tension. But asking for stimulating tickles on my arm makes me feel self-conscious for some reason.
That’s cool to know. I don’t think I would be comfortable seeking the touch/grazing part from a therapist, but I’ve never had a professional massage and I feel like I’d really benefit from one. My legs especially. I figure it’s due to being on my feet full-time at my job, but pushing and dragging my palms along my quads before bed every feels incredible.
I’m not huge of cuddling and tend to get overheated easily when I do, but I find it really pleasurable (non-sexually) when my wife runs her finger/fingernail on my hand or arm. Just light touch in general feels incredibly stimulating, but it’s kind of a weird thing to outright ask for so I just kind of enjoy it when it comes around. I also like when my kid steps on my arms or legs when climbing on me. I should probably look into massage therapy.
I always thought I was pretty well put together and low-cringe, but every now and then I get a Facebook memory (I know, but I moved to another country and this is my lifeline to my friends and family) from ~2010 that really sheds some fucking light on exactly why I didn’t have a girlfriend. These memories reveal to me that I was indeed very cringe, and very much a product of some of the lamest internet culture in recent memory. The frequent use of the cat face emoticon :3 when interacting with girls is enough to make me want to bury these things where they can never be seen again. Conversely, these memories serve as a reminder of not only just how far I’ve come as a man, but also as a husband, a father, and a member of society.
EDIT: It’s worth mentioning that these mishaps are extremely prevalent in old exchanges between my wife and I as well, so at the very least her and I are able to cringe over them together.