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capt_wolf, (edited ) to memes in If you ever feel useless
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

They’re not his bodyguards. They’re there to hold him back as long as they can while you run away. This is not to give you an chance to escape, but because he gets disappointed and sad if the hunt is over too soon.

capt_wolf, (edited ) to science_memes in Orinthologists
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Aw, come on…

Only in ornithology can you say,

“Look at that pair of great tits!”

“That’s a huge pecker!”

“That’s a nice looking cock!”

And “Look at all the boobies!”

And literally nobody can get mad…

capt_wolf, to memes in Choose your vehicle
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Either way, around here I almost always see both end up doing stupid shit on the road. I don’t give a fuck what you’re driving. Obey the rules of the road, follow the flow of traffic, be aware of your surroundings, and for fucks sake, signal properly and clearly! Nobody’s in a race. We can all get where we’re going safely and timely if y’all just stop acting like you’re escaping a war zone!

capt_wolf, to lemmyshitpost in It's a good thing they aren't in charge of adult toys...
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Y’see, what ya do is take yer two cords and cut the ends off. Strip the wire and tie 'em together. Then ya wrap em in electrical tape so they’re water tight! Bam! Problem solved!

capt_wolf, to comicstrips in Batman's secret identity [Pictures in Boxes]
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Two-Face: “Billionaire playboy and my former best friend, Bruce Wayne!?”

Batman: 🙂

capt_wolf, (edited ) to starwarsmemes in What if Vader from Star Wars is actually Anakin?
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

There is only one, true Vader… They don’t even look anything alike! https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2a15bd91-4302-45e5-99b3-e952102cf887.jpeg

capt_wolf, to memes in Old but gold
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Honey, call the cops! John Wayne and Bing Crosby are defying the laws of gravity again!

Bonus: “Gravity is a law! I obey the law!

capt_wolf, to lemmyshitpost in Will this run GTA 6 and why not?
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

It will, but you’re gonna need to hit the turbo button…

capt_wolf, (edited ) to lemmyshitpost in Really any holiday
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

At this point, my mother in law just makes me a separate decoy batch…

capt_wolf, to asklemmy in Anyone else do "last chance socks"?
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

I learned to sew when I was little, so I have no qualms busting out the kit to put a few stitches in something. It’s not a hard skill to pick up, and definitely something I think everyone should learn. Especially in this day and age, where everything is so damn expensive! Your stitches don’t have to be perfect, they just have to hold.

capt_wolf, (edited ) to memes in When somebody laughes at your Facebook post, but you were being serious
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar
capt_wolf, to lemmyshitpost in Have you tried sunning you perineum?
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

I think everyone owes it to themselves to experience it. One of my best friends waited until a couple years ago to finally see it. She was terrified, but still thinks Fizzgig is one of the most adorable things ever. Which he is. How can you not love this face?

https://media0.giphy.com/media/CUFjd7IbtTo5O/giphy.webp?cid=6c09b952m3hu9fnij1jgayimnsg2ctbjd4le1n9k84rhzfbk&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.webp&ct=g

capt_wolf, to star_wars in George Lucas standing among Return Of The Jedi props
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Surrounded by all of that magic and he still thought the 97 special edition cuts were better… 😑

capt_wolf, to lemmyshitpost in Discord rule
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Discord statuses after this announcement be like:

https://media.tenor.com/PnzMTPYIXj8AAAAM/idiocracy-baitin.gif

capt_wolf, to asklemmy in So, who or what ruined Christmas this year?
@capt_wolf@lemmy.world avatar

Thank you for being a good person anyway! Your plans may both have been ruined, but you’re a hero to that guy! You’ll both remember each other for the rest of your lives!

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