hOrni

@hOrni@lemmy.world

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hOrni,

Yeah. That’s because I didn’t wash my hands last time I was touching my zipper. And why would a zipper need to be clean anyways?

hOrni,

Blue. Knowing what I know would make me a fucked up 6 year old. I wouldn’t be able to make friends, I would creep people out or even end up in a mental institution. 10 million wold fix all my current problems. And there wold be a lot left for hookers and coke.

hOrni,

You remember how Harry chose the house he wanted to be in, and it’s canon, that the sorting hat ward isn’t definite? When I was buying my first tool, I wanted a Ryobi. But they didn’t have it in stock and they did have Makita on sale and the sales guy told me that would be much better for the same price. So after that I’m buying only Makita, to fit the rest.

hOrni,

I can’t tell. I never had an issue, but I’m only using the tool for home use.

hOrni,

And when we execute Musk we will replace the whoopee cussion with a button that makes goat sounds.

hOrni,

When I’m at work, I’ll use a calculator to add 5 to 7. And I’ll do it twice just to be sure.

hOrni,

Don’t forget Ronnie “Forever On The Wrong Side Of History” Reagan. Why do people always forget about Ronnie “Forever On The Wrong Side Of History” Reagan.

hOrni,

Let’s just hope it won’t be an orange guy.

hOrni,

What about “Have a nice day”. Or the way he say “Pizza”.

hOrni,

What about Ronald “Always on the wrong side of history” Reagan?

hOrni,

It’ll have a canon. I’m sure very soon they’ll start mounting guns on the hood.

hOrni,

Fifth could be “Hey Ya! Neighbor” With Andre 3000 on the other side of the fence.

hOrni,

I don’t get hangovers anymore. You’d have to sober up to get a hangover. An if I’d sober up, the depression wold be a far greater concern.

hOrni,

It’s funniest when it’s a child’s toy left on a vodka shelf. People do this on purpose.

hOrni,

Being 36, I also wish I died 6 years ago.

hOrni,

It’s not even the dress pants in cubicle. For 8 years I was working in factories on the production floor. This included heavy industry, night shifts, dust, noise, blinding lights, near freezing temperatures and a real threat of loosing an appendage. Now I’m working from home, sterling at an Excell sheet in my pajamas, under a blanket.

hOrni,

Mrs Pelts fish sticks. They’re even better raw.

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