Gastronomical Masterpiece
sagrotan, 
GOOD soy sauce, not that brown salt water they sell everywhere as “soy sauce”. The wasabi situation is even worse.
ObviouslyNotBanana, 
Good soy sauce is a must.
Kolanaki, 
So Kikkoman?
MuhammadJesusGaySex, Rice seasoning and soy sauce.
M137, 
I have a friend who puts ketchup on ANYTHING. I’ve seen him order $30 medium rare steaks at nice restaurants and then smother them in ketchup. People we don’t know at all have come up to us just to ask about it, and they’ve all left just as confused and angry about it as we (his friends) are.
AngryCommieKender, Butter and salt. Or soy sauce. Anything except ketchup really…
Siegfried, Well, how would you use ketchup if there is no ketchup, silly
root_beer, Kool-Aid. Sharkleberry Fin.
Metallidad45, Molé, I put that shit on everything.
TicklishRocket, Chocolate Quik or Maple Syrup
MargotRobbie, 
Those bottles of chili crisp with the face of an angry/disappointed looking Asian lady on the label. So good.
TempermentalAnomaly, Laoganma
So good! Ty their other sauces as well. I think there’s four or five available in the US.
MargotRobbie, Which one should I try? I think there is this one with beans in it, right?
TempermentalAnomaly, I cook with the black beans one. It’s delicious in Sichuan Dry Fried Green Beans.
Here’s a good video on their whole line. They talk about what’s available in the US of course.
MargotRobbie, Thanks!
pomodoro_longbreak, 
Can’t believe no one’s said spritz of lemon juice yet. That was my go to as a kid.
Bruce_Wayne, Lemon juice and Sriracha is also amazing
Jeanschyso, Salt may not be sauce, but it’s the only answer
negativeyoda, An egg
Potatos_are_not_friends, How would you eat an egg without ketchup?
hydrospanner, Raw.
With a drizzle of dark soy sauce and a sprinkling of toasted sesame seeds.
negativeyoda, You know what’s up.
I usually throw a bit of miso in before cooking and add avocado if I have it
SocialMediaRefugee, Roundup herbicide
root_beer, Drāno
ObviouslyNotBanana, Best suggestion
ILikeBoobies, Mayonnaise
Potatos_are_not_friends, I did a bit of that vomit noise reading this. Touche!
tiny_electron, Melted cheese or coco milk with curry
hungryphrog, Who the hell puts ketchup in rice??
Crack0n7uesday, Stuffed bell peppers you can probably substitute the tomato sauce with ketchup, idk if it would be any good, but you could I guess.
dlhextall, Kids. I remember doing this when I was 8-10.
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