108,
@108@kbin.social avatar

I too had to go on a trip with people I hate

FanfictionConsort,
@FanfictionConsort@kbin.social avatar

I have a good option here: Dairy.

Basically, your body can only produce so much Lactase (the thing that breaks down Lactose) at a time. Lactose intolerant people barely produce any Lactase, which is why eating a tiny bit of cheese is OK for them, but they'll explosively shit themselves if they have a glass of milk.

Anyways, you have a lactase limit, time to find it. An added bonus of this strategy is that your options are a bit more varied: You can load up on cheeses, milkshakes, cream puffs, cheesecake. Regular old milk has the most lactose though, so if you want to shit yourself plentifully and violently, bring a ton of that (and whatever other foods you want, the milk will do the work here). Just don't try and chug a whole gallon of milk in under 20 minutes, you'll vomit because it will dilute your stomach acid until instead of digesting it, it'll curdle in your stomach.

ErgodicTangle,

Thanks I hate vomozarella.

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I'll just leave this here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqbvu8jZBOw

MajorMajormajormajor,

Jesus Christ. I'm glad that video is only in 480p, somethings don't need to be in 4k.

badgerific,
@badgerific@kbin.social avatar

Come over. I'm sure I can cook you some diarrhea-inducing food. It'll be spicy as hell, so sweating and peeing gets sorted too. And I'm sure it's not going to be easy to find.

Rogue_General, (edited )
@Rogue_General@lemmy.world avatar

Lemmy's first inside joke, I'm so proud

Edit: Link for the uninitiated

Nintendo,

leaving a comment for when this thread pops up on some YouTubers history of Lemmy video

DiaryOfJayne,
@DiaryOfJayne@vlemmy.net avatar

I was here

MementoMori,
@MementoMori@lemmy.ml avatar

This is the high quality content I come here for.

CCatMan,

Kiwis Red pepper flakes Spinach Water

You can add these to a blender to help digest even faster.

You can also pick up some high fiber cereal.

But yeah I think your stomach is not going to be happy.

CFinley97,

Eff it, commenting to show I was here

faltuuser,

Commenting to show that I was here for the first Lemmy moment.

boopdepop,

Might as well include me in the screenshot too. I was here

tallwookie,
@tallwookie@lemmy.world avatar

Stage 1:

  • 3 bunches of bananas, 2 lbs cooked rice, 1 loaf of white bread (toasted)

Stage 2:

  • 1 gallon of liquid laxative
  • 1 gallon of franks red hot
  • a 3 gallon bucket
  • a ladle

consume stage 1 & wait 3 hours. consume stage 2. repeat as necessary

resin85,

GOOD advice to preserve 1 gallon of space in the bucket. Proper ladle size for this application will require large displacement.

diffaldo,

Mmh i like opposite posting

Silviecat44,

Lemmy Lore

shroomato,
@shroomato@lemmy.world avatar

The fuck is wrong with you Greg

SomeGuyNamedPaul,

Oh wow, a topic for which I'm somewhat of an expert.

Get a box of cornbread mix. Dump it in a bowl. Add milk. Stir and then consume with a spoon. If you want some violence to your shits then mix a considerable amount of crushed red pepper before the milk while it's still a dry powder. The milk will help dull the impact of the CRP as you're eating it but not as it's passing, and passing fast.

With this method you should be able to make a load of poop that floats a bit and will pile up above the water line, significantly increasing the stench you leave in the bathroom.

The amateur enhancement is to also slam down a number of Fibercon tablets, but if you want to amp this up to pro-level defecation then go look in the supplements section for some stuff called "chitosan". It's like ground up shrimp and crustacean shell, and it bonds to fats so instead of being absorbed they pass through you. That plus a bunch of fatty stuff from other suggestions you'll be receiving will take your adventure to the next level. This plus swapping in heavy whipping cream for the cornbread concoction then you'll probably have bowel movements so horrible you'll have to register them with some kind of government agency.

Good luck and may your toilet paper be the good stuff.

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