Rogue_General, (edited )
@Rogue_General@lemmy.world avatar

Lemmy's first inside joke, I'm so proud

Edit: Link for the uninitiated

soybeanscheesesticks,

We did it boys! New low-effort meta shitpost any% world record!!!

hardypart,
@hardypart@feddit.de avatar

This shall go down as the first meta shit post in the history of Lemmy. I love it!

demvoter,
@demvoter@kbin.social avatar

And a new lemmy/kbin specific meme is born. O glorious day!

GeekFTW,
@GeekFTW@kbin.social avatar

Some people say we can't have nice things.

Those people don't read this thread lol.

Verity_kindle,

Stover's Chocolates made with stevia. Eat 1 pound over a day or so. Tried and true formula.

sheldy13,

This! What is up with that candy?

atocci,
@atocci@kbin.social avatar

It's the stevia, it's a sweetener but also a laxative. There's a certain brand of soda that uses stevia as its sweetener also and will have the same effect.

1st,

Oh no. Is this our "test post please ignore"?

interolivary,
@interolivary@beehaw.org avatar

test shit please ignore

MementoMori,
@MementoMori@lemmy.ml avatar

This is the high quality content I come here for.

SomeGuyNamedPaul,

Oh wow, a topic for which I'm somewhat of an expert.

Get a box of cornbread mix. Dump it in a bowl. Add milk. Stir and then consume with a spoon. If you want some violence to your shits then mix a considerable amount of crushed red pepper before the milk while it's still a dry powder. The milk will help dull the impact of the CRP as you're eating it but not as it's passing, and passing fast.

With this method you should be able to make a load of poop that floats a bit and will pile up above the water line, significantly increasing the stench you leave in the bathroom.

The amateur enhancement is to also slam down a number of Fibercon tablets, but if you want to amp this up to pro-level defecation then go look in the supplements section for some stuff called "chitosan". It's like ground up shrimp and crustacean shell, and it bonds to fats so instead of being absorbed they pass through you. That plus a bunch of fatty stuff from other suggestions you'll be receiving will take your adventure to the next level. This plus swapping in heavy whipping cream for the cornbread concoction then you'll probably have bowel movements so horrible you'll have to register them with some kind of government agency.

Good luck and may your toilet paper be the good stuff.

tallwookie,
@tallwookie@lemmy.world avatar

Stage 1:

  • 3 bunches of bananas, 2 lbs cooked rice, 1 loaf of white bread (toasted)

Stage 2:

  • 1 gallon of liquid laxative
  • 1 gallon of franks red hot
  • a 3 gallon bucket
  • a ladle

consume stage 1 & wait 3 hours. consume stage 2. repeat as necessary

resin85,

GOOD advice to preserve 1 gallon of space in the bucket. Proper ladle size for this application will require large displacement.

FanfictionConsort,
@FanfictionConsort@kbin.social avatar

I have a good option here: Dairy.

Basically, your body can only produce so much Lactase (the thing that breaks down Lactose) at a time. Lactose intolerant people barely produce any Lactase, which is why eating a tiny bit of cheese is OK for them, but they'll explosively shit themselves if they have a glass of milk.

Anyways, you have a lactase limit, time to find it. An added bonus of this strategy is that your options are a bit more varied: You can load up on cheeses, milkshakes, cream puffs, cheesecake. Regular old milk has the most lactose though, so if you want to shit yourself plentifully and violently, bring a ton of that (and whatever other foods you want, the milk will do the work here). Just don't try and chug a whole gallon of milk in under 20 minutes, you'll vomit because it will dilute your stomach acid until instead of digesting it, it'll curdle in your stomach.

ErgodicTangle,

Thanks I hate vomozarella.

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I'll just leave this here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqbvu8jZBOw

MajorMajormajormajor,

Jesus Christ. I'm glad that video is only in 480p, somethings don't need to be in 4k.

NetHandle,

So uhh, step one: get cholera (it lives on shellfish, and plankton do with this what you will, lick some shells or something)
Step two: ingest cholera
Step three: try not to die

diffaldo,

Mmh i like opposite posting

millions,
@millions@kbin.social avatar

I was here for the first lemmy meme

TheFriendlyDickhead,

The funny thing is, because lemmy is so small basicly everybody instantly knows whats going on

fomo_erotic,
@fomo_erotic@lemmy.ml avatar

Habanero protein shakes with extra coconut oil.

king_dead,

Google colonoscopy prep

space_gecko,

Holy crap

Wild_Mastic,

New turd just dropped

CFinley97,

Eff it, commenting to show I was here

108,
@108@kbin.social avatar

I too had to go on a trip with people I hate

Skuldug,

Not said yet but just some salt dissolved in water. I remember not pooping for a week coming out of a hospital stay that had me on morphine. Tried the stool softeners and such. But lemme tell you. An 8oz glass of warm water with a teaspoon of salt and 30 minutes later it was go time. When I say go time I mean be ready, when it hits there will be no delaying it.

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