You can have any superpower, but the first person to reply chooses a side effect
self-explanatory!!
blackstrat, 
Ability to secrete custard from my hands at will.
zarathustra, Only when orgasming
knife, this just makes it even better
lazylion_ca, You constantly forget to wash your hands.
riskable, 
Your mouth becomes sealed shut for 8 hours whenever you secrete custard.
CanadaPlus, Hah! You clearly don't understand the power of refrigeration.
planetaryprotection, My new bedtime routine would be filling up the custard freezer.
Pookie1804, 
The ability to fly.
cyberic, 
Flying gives you intense abdominal pain.
lazylion_ca, Your arms are now wings with no hands like a birds.
52fighters, 
But you develop a terrible and incurable fear of heights.
Harlan_Cloverseed, 
I’m happy
KingPyrox, 
You die immediately after this
Maximilious, 
An annoying happy-go-lucky theme song plays for all to hear around you.
Lells, 
... despite having nightmarish diarrhea every hour, on the hour.
TheEntity, But you can poop only once every 3 days.
lazylion_ca, That’s my normal, so what’s the problem?
jgrim, Clear anyone of debt just by thinking it.
Orvanis, Their debt transfers to you.
nichty, And then to you…
CanadaPlus, And then to an orphan somewhere. You monster.
skillissuer, removal of debt happens by way of destruction of banking infrastructure. this may or may not be related to other harm
-- this is actually how quite a lot of people got debts cleared on 9/11 (this was before offsite backups)
Antiscamer7, 
Save and load
baseless_discourse, But you will load randomly
ITypeWithMyDick, undeleted by creator
ritswd, Teleportation
Chainweasel, You conserve your angular momentum, so if you move at all in latitude the earth we'll be moving at a different speed. It would be like stepping out of a moving vehicle onto the freeway but a whole lot faster.
SpezCanLigmaBalls, 
Make Bezos, Musk, Zuck, Spez, and @Luckyy nut whenever i clap
skillissuer, they all have to be in the same room with you
CanadaPlus, Self-detonation.
JuxtaposedJaguar, Although you survive, you get 2nd degree burns that take a regular amount of time to heal.
minorninth, The ability to read another person's thoughts by looking at them.
megane_kun, 
Granted, but your thoughts are transmitted to the person looking at you.
thrilly, Perfect timing.
Invishiro, 
Except you feel the need to always respond to everyone else’s conversations. Your timing is impeccable yet everyone comes to resent your witty remarks.
Kaizo107, 
Good ol' invisibility
npastaSyn, Only works when no one is looking at you... and when you're naked.
CopernicusQwark, Mystery Men!
khelmr, 
You need to wear a ring to use it, and undead monsters hunting for the ring will instantly know where you are. It may or may not have a mind of its own convincing you to never part ways with it.
Grumlin, 
This sounds like my kind of movie.
npastaSyn, Can probably make a trilogy out of it... maybe even a franchise.
nichty, Maybe even a prequel trilogy?
Jon-H558, I give it to sam
VectorSocks, (edited ) Know anyone's most deviant kink.
econpol, You will get a very strong, visceral image of every person engaging in that kink.
npastaSyn, Plus the desire to fulfill it.
Lells, ... because you are the target of those kinks
MeowdyPardner, 
The ability to nullify side effects :) I'll be rich as a doctor
1st, You no longer have any side effects, only things intentionally done will happen. You must now consciously think about breathing and blinking as they are no longer side effects of being alive. As this is not a side effect, but rather the effect itself it cannot be nullified.
DarkenLM, Oh shit, bro has to manually pump this blood. Well, he's fucked.
Yamspunk, The ability to move anything
DarkenLM, You move the exact same distance into the opposite direction of the moved object, even if there already exists another object in that space.
cyberic, You are not able to move while lifting anything
GunnarRunnar, Fly with farts.
theusualuser, You have uncurable IBS
Bradamir, The only way you can generate fart power is by eating poo.
Crayon8027, 
Yeah, but then you get to have a cool catchphrase like, "Eat shit and fly".
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