You can have any superpower, but the first person to reply chooses a side effect
self-explanatory!!
blackstrat, 
Ability to secrete custard from my hands at will.
zarathustra, Only when orgasming
knife, this just makes it even better
lazylion_ca, You constantly forget to wash your hands.
riskable, 
Your mouth becomes sealed shut for 8 hours whenever you secrete custard.
CanadaPlus, Hah! You clearly don't understand the power of refrigeration.
planetaryprotection, My new bedtime routine would be filling up the custard freezer.
Pookie1804, 
The ability to fly.
cyberic, 
Flying gives you intense abdominal pain.
lazylion_ca, Your arms are now wings with no hands like a birds.
52fighters, 
But you develop a terrible and incurable fear of heights.
MeowdyPardner, 
The ability to nullify side effects :) I'll be rich as a doctor
1st, You no longer have any side effects, only things intentionally done will happen. You must now consciously think about breathing and blinking as they are no longer side effects of being alive. As this is not a side effect, but rather the effect itself it cannot be nullified.
DarkenLM, Oh shit, bro has to manually pump this blood. Well, he's fucked.
Kaizo107, 
Good ol' invisibility
npastaSyn, Only works when no one is looking at you... and when you're naked.
CopernicusQwark, Mystery Men!
khelmr, 
You need to wear a ring to use it, and undead monsters hunting for the ring will instantly know where you are. It may or may not have a mind of its own convincing you to never part ways with it.
Grumlin, 
This sounds like my kind of movie.
npastaSyn, Can probably make a trilogy out of it... maybe even a franchise.
nichty, Maybe even a prequel trilogy?
Jon-H558, I give it to sam
vercimusart, 
Ability to phase through non-Newtonian fluids as if they were regular Newtonian fluids.
DarkenLM, All fluids you touch turn into mercury.
VanillaGorilla, Side effect: Newtonian fluids change their behaviour to that of non Newtonian fluids and you can't pass any of them in a hurry. You can run on water now though.
vercimusart, Running on goopy water sounds great, but hydration might become an issue if I have to eat water like it’s non-Newtonian pudding
VanillaGorilla, You can still drink, it just takes some time. Forget straws.
CanadaPlus, Air is a fluid, though.
VanillaGorilla, Makes the running on water a tiny bit harder
CanadaPlus, On the other hand, maybe you could fly somehow.
VanillaGorilla, That would explain the cloud levels in Super Mario.
lurkeymclerkface, You are now no longer able to pass through newtonian fluids at all.
badgerific, 
Ability to successfully persuade any living being to do what I want them to do.
skillissuer, it requires days of careful observation of that living being at least to prepare persuasion speech. the speech takes entire day even for simplest tasks and you can't do virtually anything else by sheer intensity required
ivanafterall, 
Your entire family was murdered in a dark city alley to lead to your powers.
SevFTW, Damn the last time that happened I only inherited immense wealth and used it to beat up street level criminals
theusualuser, Don't worry, he'll convince a genius to create a time machine. Problem solved.
Jon-H558, You are never truly sure again if people are actually listening to you or even like you or they are just enchanted by your power. You are never again able to form meaningful relationships with that doubt in you mind, you can never find true love and become a recluse.
Lells, 
Can spontaneously manifest any variety of cheese
DuckCake, 
It appears from a random bodily orifice each time, and never the same one twice.
theusualuser, Lactose intollerant
JustAWoopie, Cheese becomes tasteless
Unblended, 
Can't control when you do it.
VanillaGorilla, Oh I'd pick up some napkins and follow that person. I hope blue cheeses are on the list, and maybe some gruyère 🤤
khelmr, You're constantly followed by an army of mice that want to eat your cheese.
glasslyrata, 
At the rate of one gram per hour.
Jon-H558, You constantly stink of molding cheese
JWBananas, 
In this thread: Monkey's paw curls.
GunnarRunnar, Fly with farts.
theusualuser, You have uncurable IBS
Bradamir, The only way you can generate fart power is by eating poo.
Crayon8027, 
Yeah, but then you get to have a cool catchphrase like, "Eat shit and fly".
miraclerandy, Control time
Goob, You retain no memories of anything that happened during a time stop. If you go back in time, everyone else remembers things normally, but you forgot that period of time completely.
lurkeymclerkface, You can only control it one minute at a time and only forward
Jon-H558, When you stop time you cannot move as all the air molecules around you are stopped.
GunnarRunnar, You move with time.
Anissem, Severe IBS
miraclerandy, Worth it
JuxtaposedJaguar, That’s my secret. I’m always shitting my pants.
ShlorpianMafia, 
Ability to transform into a dog that shoots bees when it barks
UsernameLost, Bees come out of your eyes
demvoter, 
Your eyes are 10 feet wide.
UsernameLost, Nope, hard pass
jgrim, Clear anyone of debt just by thinking it.
Orvanis, Their debt transfers to you.
nichty, And then to you…
CanadaPlus, And then to an orphan somewhere. You monster.
skillissuer, removal of debt happens by way of destruction of banking infrastructure. this may or may not be related to other harm
-- this is actually how quite a lot of people got debts cleared on 9/11 (this was before offsite backups)
PlexSheep, Teleportation by thinking of a place
theusualuser, That place is the time you walked in on your parents having sex.
npastaSyn, Does not teleport your cloths.
VanillaGorilla, Hm, I'd still take it
CanadaPlus, Ehh. Just look up pictures of nude beaches or something.
lazylion_ca, As you get older you keep thinking back to places that no longer exist.
BlueKey, 
You are unable to control the ability and will teleport even when you are just be reminded of a place.
skillissuer, this includes extraterrestrial and fictional places
entropicdrift, 
The first time you go to a church and actually understand what they're saying as a child, you go to hell
lazylion_ca, Thinking includes dreams and nightmares. You wake up in interesting places.
SpezCanLigmaBalls, 
Make Bezos, Musk, Zuck, Spez, and @Luckyy nut whenever i clap
skillissuer, they all have to be in the same room with you
FVVS, 
I can fly wherever I want super fast so I can travel the world.
skillissuer, whoa whoa there buddy, you're not going anywhere without transponder, lights, altimeter, radio and safety systems required by any aviation authority. either you carry server rack worth of equipment with you at all times or use an actual plane
guazzabuglio, You still need to go through TSA before flying
FVVS, This is the way
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