You can have any superpower, but the first person to reply chooses a side effect
self-explanatory!!
mizu6079, 
Omnipotence
SirXer6xes, The side-effect is randomized Dementia >:)
nichty, You also gain impotence. Congratulations! You now know that you can only be a god by being a paradox
Chainweasel, Having unlimited power means you control everything. You have no time to enjoy your power because you're constantly making sure the laws of physics stay and balance so the universe doesn't dissolve.
Bradamir, Guthix basically.
SHamblingSHapes, Every attempt at thought or action ends in an omnipotence paradox. E.g., can God make a rock so heavy even he can't lift it?
Thavron, 
Telekinesis!
zebus, 
But the strain and concentration required causes you to dump your drawers.
nichty, You can be in the shit a lot with powers like telekinesis huh
UsernameLost, Proctologists hate this one weird trick!
jackmon, He should team up with 'Fly with farts'
SHamblingSHapes, Reactive adaptation.
ritswd, Teleportation
Chainweasel, You conserve your angular momentum, so if you move at all in latitude the earth we'll be moving at a different speed. It would be like stepping out of a moving vehicle onto the freeway but a whole lot faster.
CanadaPlus, Self-detonation.
JuxtaposedJaguar, Although you survive, you get 2nd degree burns that take a regular amount of time to heal.
FVVS, 
I can fly wherever I want super fast so I can travel the world.
skillissuer, whoa whoa there buddy, you're not going anywhere without transponder, lights, altimeter, radio and safety systems required by any aviation authority. either you carry server rack worth of equipment with you at all times or use an actual plane
guazzabuglio, You still need to go through TSA before flying
FVVS, This is the way
SpezCanLigmaBalls, 
Make Bezos, Musk, Zuck, Spez, and @Luckyy nut whenever i clap
skillissuer, they all have to be in the same room with you
PlexSheep, Teleportation by thinking of a place
theusualuser, That place is the time you walked in on your parents having sex.
npastaSyn, Does not teleport your cloths.
VanillaGorilla, Hm, I'd still take it
CanadaPlus, Ehh. Just look up pictures of nude beaches or something.
lazylion_ca, As you get older you keep thinking back to places that no longer exist.
BlueKey, 
You are unable to control the ability and will teleport even when you are just be reminded of a place.
skillissuer, this includes extraterrestrial and fictional places
entropicdrift, 
The first time you go to a church and actually understand what they're saying as a child, you go to hell
lazylion_ca, Thinking includes dreams and nightmares. You wake up in interesting places.
jgrim, Clear anyone of debt just by thinking it.
Orvanis, Their debt transfers to you.
nichty, And then to you…
CanadaPlus, And then to an orphan somewhere. You monster.
skillissuer, removal of debt happens by way of destruction of banking infrastructure. this may or may not be related to other harm
-- this is actually how quite a lot of people got debts cleared on 9/11 (this was before offsite backups)
ShlorpianMafia, 
Ability to transform into a dog that shoots bees when it barks
UsernameLost, Bees come out of your eyes
demvoter, 
Your eyes are 10 feet wide.
UsernameLost, Nope, hard pass
miraclerandy, Control time
Goob, You retain no memories of anything that happened during a time stop. If you go back in time, everyone else remembers things normally, but you forgot that period of time completely.
lurkeymclerkface, You can only control it one minute at a time and only forward
Jon-H558, When you stop time you cannot move as all the air molecules around you are stopped.
GunnarRunnar, You move with time.
Anissem, Severe IBS
miraclerandy, Worth it
JuxtaposedJaguar, That’s my secret. I’m always shitting my pants.
GunnarRunnar, Fly with farts.
theusualuser, You have uncurable IBS
Bradamir, The only way you can generate fart power is by eating poo.
Crayon8027, 
Yeah, but then you get to have a cool catchphrase like, "Eat shit and fly".
JWBananas, 
In this thread: Monkey's paw curls.
Lells, 
Can spontaneously manifest any variety of cheese
DuckCake, 
It appears from a random bodily orifice each time, and never the same one twice.
theusualuser, Lactose intollerant
JustAWoopie, Cheese becomes tasteless
Unblended, 
Can't control when you do it.
VanillaGorilla, Oh I'd pick up some napkins and follow that person. I hope blue cheeses are on the list, and maybe some gruyère 🤤
khelmr, 
You're constantly followed by an army of mice that want to eat your cheese.
glasslyrata, 
At the rate of one gram per hour.
Jon-H558, You constantly stink of molding cheese
badgerific, 
Ability to successfully persuade any living being to do what I want them to do.
skillissuer, it requires days of careful observation of that living being at least to prepare persuasion speech. the speech takes entire day even for simplest tasks and you can't do virtually anything else by sheer intensity required
ivanafterall, 
Your entire family was murdered in a dark city alley to lead to your powers.
SevFTW, Damn the last time that happened I only inherited immense wealth and used it to beat up street level criminals
theusualuser, Don't worry, he'll convince a genius to create a time machine. Problem solved.
Jon-H558, You are never truly sure again if people are actually listening to you or even like you or they are just enchanted by your power. You are never again able to form meaningful relationships with that doubt in you mind, you can never find true love and become a recluse.
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