I was raised a specific way with Christianity at the core of it. My mom was Catholic but didn't really practice, my dad's side had a history of church leadership, but it skipped a generation. Both of them went to a revival right before having kids. By the time I was born and aware, they were very dedicated members of a local Baptist church.
I wasn't allowed to read comics, watch most TV, listen to most music. I couldn't watch most movies, we didn't have cable, we didn't have internet, so I was stuck thinking this is just the way it was.
Even inside the church, I wasn't allowed to play with certain kids, talk to certain adults. I wasn't allowed to talk with girls... A lot of stuff I wasn't allowed or supposed to do.
I was ADHD and an Aspie, but my family didn't really like that kind of medicine so I never took anything. High expectations to meet, and constant disappointment in my failure to meet them.
Nonetheless, I believed the Bible, in God, in Jesus. I listened to the teachings and stories. I learned what I was supposed to be as a Christian: good, kind, caring, putting others first, denying yourself, etc. and I thought that was great. It made me very understanding of others, listening to them and meeting them where they were. It made me generous and kind, offering help with no hope for reward or return. I didn't mind that I never got my way, was always wanting more... That didn't matter, my reward would come later, just like the Bible said.
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Enter Obama. While I was excited about the advent of a new president but wasn't yet old enough to vote, politics started to creep into religion. People blamed him and Democrats for everything, while reverting to scriptures and other doctrines to say why. After a soul searching moment related to the legalization of gay marriage, I realized that what the government did wasn't at all pertinent or related to the church.
The pastor I had at the time navigated this issue with finesse and grace. He called on our church members to follow the basics: the Bible applies to Christians, not non believers. And believers or not, we should treat everyone with kindness and love. Needless to say, he got subtly pressured to leave over the next year or so. I appreciate him a lot for speaking up and asking for love in a time of growing hatred. Last I heard he became a sports coach for a high school, living the example of showing love by doing, not saying.
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After that, with Trump on the horizon... My church devolved into the cesspool of trying to reunite religious law with common law. They wanted to outlaw gays because "the Bible says so". They wanted to stop abortion because "the Bible says so". They wanted to get rid of all the immigrants... Because the Bible said so? No, beyond those two points the Bible and Jesus were left behind, and instead the hatred started to pour out of these people. There was no love, it was only hatred and spite and fear. Trusting in God meant voting Republican. Doing his will was reduced to wearing red hats and saying "Lets Go Brandon". Spending money on improving the nation and it's inhabitants was socialism, the very enemy of the American people...
And it was at that point I realized that the religion I was taught as a kid, of love and kindness to all mankind at your own expense... Was gone. You didn't need religion to be a good person and to help others. Religion was being used like a crowbar in the gears of our democracy. And it seemed to be used similarly everywhere else, too.
I had better access to the internet, interacted with more people, and found that my suffering as a kid came from a denial of science by my parents, and holding me to restrictions in the name of faith that did nothing but damage my growth.
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I like Jesus, the concepts, the teachings, the story. And wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone who claimed to live in his name acted to his example? But nobody really does. I've been spending more time attempting to deprogram myself from religion and faith recently, because I'm pretty sure a day will come where that classic scenario would happen: someone will hold a gun to my head and ask if I believe. But it's not going to be some godless terrorist bent on eradicating the "good news". It'll be some proud American patriot with Fox News pouring from his headphones, following his Republican Party's call to action, killing those who don't believe in what he does because he's been told that's the only way he's getting heaven on earth.
And despite whatever I may think, that day I'll gladly say I no longer believe.
You pretty much nailed it. The teachings of Jesus are pretty great. Most important law there is? Love God and your Neighbor (okay I combined them but that’s what Jesus meant anyways). Jesus lived that way. You’d find him hanging out with the rejects of society, the ill, the prostitutes, etc. He wanted to raise the floor of society. He also was for separation of church and state. “Hey Jesus, you’ve got this new kingdom thing going on, do we have to pay taxes to the king anymore?” “Yes, give your king what’s his, and give to God what’s his.”
But somehow these days it’s all about how you can word the Bible to help further your hatred. “Hey this one passage says if a man lays with a guy (boy? We aren’t 100% on that translation), he should be stoned, so that means we should hate the gays!”. Nope. Go back and read what Jesus was all about. Love your neighbor. Most important thing!
I can’t really proudly call myself Christian, because I don’t really fit the current model of that. I barely attend church, I don’t hate any group. In fact I find all lifestyles fascinating and valuable. I accept all religions too. Your Buddhist? Cool. Tell me about it. Muslim? Awesome. You guys have some cool thoughts on giving to the poor (2% of your assets! Imagine if billionaires did that!). If Christianity is the correct religion, and Jesus is the only way into heaven, why can’t he talk to these people after death and decide then? I find it hard to say the Jesus recorded in the Bible would be like “you were good to everyone and a light in this world, but… You were Jewish so off to hell with you for all eternity!”
It’s nice to live this way accepting everyone. I think the only reason I accept that I am still Christian is because I think this is how Christians should be anyways. It’s not about hate, despite what the current thinking is. I guess historically it’s always been used that way though.
Buy expensive shoes. Well, let me rephrase that. Buy GOOD shoes. A good pair of QUALITY shoes will save you money in the long term as they will last a lot longer than buying many pairs of cheap shoes.
I would also argue that many pairs of shoes can also have the same effect. If you can rotate shoes, you’re not wearing out any one pair excessively. I have shoes that are in still good condition but are a discontinued Adidas line that’s not available anymore. Although I do have shoes I still haven’t worn so there’s definitely a point of having too many pairs lol
Realized the 80 dollar slip resistant work shoes I got at Shoe Carnival were like 20 bucks at target. Same shoes, just didn’t have a football player’s name on the tag.
Put em side by side they look identical and I wear them interchangably not even noticing a difference
Decide on a monthly, weekly, or daily dudget and use cash only.
So back in the day, I had a 10$ daily budget. So every month I would withdrawal 310$, and take 10 every morning. All plastic cards stay at home. If I wanted to buy something for more than 10$, I would have to save up.
This way there are no surprises.
Also, it led me to DIY most of the non tech things in my life.
Better yet, get a credit card that earns rewards and treat it like a bill that must be paid each month. I have a Citi double cash card that’s 2% rewards for all purchases that I use to pay for almost everything. I also have a citi custom cash card that we use for food exclusively, which is like 5% rewards for the most spent category. I keep upping the limit of both at every opportunity to try and keep spending below 10% monthly. Combined they generate at least 2k a year and I have a near 800 credit score and it’s no different than using cash if you are responsible. Free money.
I save a ton with my garden and chickens. If you got just a little land. I live in a small town but in the middle of it, but I got my yard used to its maximum potential. You would be surprised what you can fit if you do it right. You can go vertical if you need too. Where you save a so much money isn’t that “oh well, now I don’t have to buy a squash! I saved 3 dollars “ but if you let it dictate your meals it’s what you eat and then you spend 0 dollars on supper. I ate a lot of squash and bok Choy and rice and home baked bread this late summer and it was great every meal. Probably saved nearly $20,000 on groceries those two months. Give or take. (Don’t try squash if you don’t have the room. They are delicious but will straight up take over a given area with huge beautiful leaves and huge wonderful yellow flowers all summer)
How much time do you spend looking after your garden? In my area, I would need to water the garden occasionally (if there is not much rain), figure out a pest mitigation solution (I don’t want to eat squashes half eaten by rodents, weed the plant bed, etc.
I know all this because my father took up gardening as a retirement hobby and quit after a few years because he did not want another full time job.
It’s strange because it… isn’t really a joke, just wrong information? It’s not a high enough value to be obvious hyperbole (“I saved like a million on groceries”), so it looks like a typo that you didn’t realize you made and are now aggressively defending like you meant it as a joke. Not saying that’s the case, but that’s sure what it looks like.
Could you estimate how much it actually might have saved you? I think that’d be very good for the discussion.
Farmer’s markets are very expensive in my area. Like, almost double the price of my local grocery stores. I sometimes wonder if people just buy their goods from the grocery store and sell them at the market.
I grew up being put in Sunday school for daycare and all the stories they told us sounded completely over the top ridiculous.
The story of Job made my fuckin blood boil as an 8 year old because I could immediately make the connection that god just took everything from this man to win a bet.
God, the all loving all knowing all powerful god. Tortured a man to prove a point.
And not just to prove a point in general but to prove a point to his literal arch nemesis.
Basically Satan tricked god into torturing this man and that was all the info I needed to know god is bullshit.
Way healthier and cheaper to make your own roast beef. The recipe is simple as it gets.
Leave meat out until 60 degrees to the core. Rub with light virgin olive oil, then heavy on the salt and pepper until it’s coated with it. Bake uncovered 375°F, 20 minutes a pound.
Cover for 20 minutes when you first pull it out so all the juices settle in. Aluminum foil and a bath towel works well for this.
Cool off to room temperature before putting in the fridge.
You will have the best RB for sandwiches you ever had.
Only buy roasts when they are on sale.
I just bought a 10 pound roast for $3.99 pound, saving me $14 a pound over deli roast beef that has added water and nitrates.
I froze half of it already sliced in vacuum sealed bags so I have some when Roast Beef is not on sale.
I like the smell of the softener. Tbh I never even considered that fabric softener… Softened fabric… In my head fabric softener = good smelly conditioner.
One day my SO and I were bickering and I was asked what is the point of fabric softener. I said for it to smell good. And they said it was to soften the fabric. Oops.
Sect/cult stuff. Rules did not add up. Stuff contradicting each other. The people were all preachy hypocrites. They’d go out of their way to twist a law of physics to their narrative. For example, “spiritual vibrations” in sound and radiation. Religion was used to control me. Quackery, conspiricy theories and mlm schemes everywhere. Broke free over time.
When my pastor told me the earth was 2000 years old but he still uses gasoline made from prehistoric plants didn’t help much to keep me there and that dinosaurs aren’t real, along with science being the main enemy.
TLDR: i did rational thinking due to my scepticisms and stopped believing.
I was born into a middle-class Hindu family in South India. Being from south we werent much religious to begin with. But my mother side of family was tad bit more religious than my fathers side of family. Usually during temple festivals, prior to the main day they would have “parayanas” or like preaching equivalent. Its basically retelling of stories from ramayana or bhagavad gitas and other literature. This guy who will tell the stories does good job at that, in the sense that his aim is to tell us the morals and the leasons we need to learn from it and to not take the story in literal sense. Those were good, those stories did help me have a strong moral compass growing up and instilled a good sense of religion.
When i hit puberty i was still religious, not overly but somewhat in the middle between the level of religion of my father and mother. My mother being slightly more religious and still following “andhavishwas” (read blind belief) which were stuff that people tell you to do or not do. Many of those stuffs do not make any sense, some example which i could think are
to not go out at sandhya (dusk) time when the ritual lamp is lit
to not have a bath at dusk time
to not shake your legs when sitting on chairs or beds.
to not eat anything with oil in food if there was a death in the family (not just close family but extended one too) for the next 18 days
to not get out of house unless for emergencies if there was a death in the family (same) for the next 7 days.
to not apply oil to hair while looking at mirror
And other countless many more stuff which differ from region to region. No one really followed most of this stuff but stuff like this is probably something most Hindu’s probably heard if they have atleast an elder in their family or extended family. Many of this stuff even though not strictly enforced is really annoying cause you get that stare or long advice like why it should be followed from your elder or your mother(in my case). Do understand that its not just these i listed but many many stuff which effects even day to day quality of life. Seeing my christian neighbour and friend not having such restriction on till how much time they were allowed to play outside and lousy me who had to drag my ass inside my home before dusk was always something which bothered me but it was not even a reson to forsake hinduism entirely. But i did try to find rational answers to why those were not permitted, why i should not do something because someone told someone and that someone said the same to their next generation and so on. I did find the reason for some of them eventually before i was 13 or something, for the examples listed if anyone is still reading and curious (or else skip to next para),
I believe the ritual lamp litting thing comes from early age practice of humans lighting fire to keep animals or other things out (Hindus believe lighting lamp will clear out negative energy)
once early humans have lit fire at dusk they stop going ut for resource and wind up with the day, they wont bath since most often ponds or water bodies will often be a little farther from their settlements and its a risk going out to bath at night. That might explain the restriction to not bath at night time.
for point 3, early hindus used to keep jars, baranis (a type of ritual jar) specifically underneath bed or below tables. Shaking your legs would probably hit those jars and it may have been something made up to protect those jars.
for point 4 and 5, i think it was safety practice. In early days a death in the family would mean they have had disease. And since early village hindus life was centered around temples, preventing people from family which recent death would prevent spread of disease. And avoiding oil food comes from this same belief as often oily food are avoided when one is sick. As for the oil on hair in front of mirror, i seriously have zero clue.
Reasoning with my mother over these stuffs was like reasoning with a brick lol. These stuffs never really did affect my stand on religion though, only just snags which made me question stuffs which elders say. When i was 16-17 is when i started doubting my religion. Hinduism sure is the oldest religion and many stuffs in hindusim are borrowed by other other religion like atma and jeeva and tree of life (notice atma and jeeva sounding similar to adam and eve) and the story of manu rishi who took the advice from a fish that the world is going to be flooded and who built a boat. These and many other stories or their equivalent being found in other religion made me think at that time that possibly other religions might have cultural exchanges with Hinduism at some point and may have based their religion of them. As i was a Hindu then I respected other religion,but this realisation made me a bit at unease because at that time it bothered me that not much people were talking about it, but the similarities were many. This made me again look for other similarities, i read about the mahabharatha epic again and the ramayana, this is when thesame rational side i had when i was debunking those “andhavishwas” kicked in.
How the hell could any of those stories be true, an epic on that scale would leave evidences that not even a million year could cover up. And the timelines, those are way off. There is no way we did have that much advancement in the early age and still be a monacrchy based rule . Someone really took their creative lberty and created a fantastic epic story to teach the importance of Truth and morals. And someone took that story and made it a religion refined over thousands of years and still refined even today.
As a lot of these stuffs made me sceptic i began to really see them as stories and fables just something to teach morals and values. I realised most of the limitation that were sett on my life were self bound.
Any last sense of religion i had was lost when i was 20 years old seeing the bullshits happening around the world, even on my locality. Politicians and many so called “peoples leaders” down in north India and other parts doing genocides and atrocities that i would do anything to dissociate myself from them on any similarity i have with them. People destroying mosques, cow vigilantism in north, mob lynching, caste bullshit. None of these are lessons from Hinduism but these people are hiding in its cover and associating how they live and what they do with them, inspiring and conditioning childrens to grow up believing it is what hinduism is. If there ever was a god, that god is dead.
I stopped believing in Hinduism as a religion with that and consider myself an atheists (i have a atheist friend who claim i am not a true atheists, but i dont want to dwell on proper term which best describes me). But i do still believe on some of the morals and lesson in truth it had given me and thats all i keep from Hinduism. Never prayed, lit a lamp, or went to a temple ever since then.
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