I’ve been thinking about it as well, I think if I were to do it I’d probably post and immediately close the app, and disable notifications, to prevent addiction. Go for it, it might be fun who knows.
It’s not standard to still expect to find anyone on social media these days. If someone mentioned they couldn’t find you and that was important to you maybe you should ask that specific person for advice?
In my experience the expectation these days is for people to be available in some chat apps online (depending where you are: WhatsApp, signal, telegram or iMessage).
When it comes to Facebook, Instagram, and other mainstream social media, just stay away, it’s not worth it. I had Facebook, and it was just full of trash. I haven’t had Instagram, but it’s not very appealing either.
A LinkedIn account, however, for professional reasons is very much advised. Or Glassdoor.
Although over the recent years I saw some decline in quality on LinkedIn, as it’s getting full of shit posts, but you can completely disregard what’s on the feed. What you need LinkedIn for, is to build a professional profile, have your former and current coworkers in your network, and find and apply for jobs. Or even just let opportunities come to your inbox once you have an impressive profile.
The most amazing workplace I’ve ever had was possible thanks to LinkedIn, with almost no effort on my part. I have to say, this isn’t typical though. It’s only likely happening in countries where there’s a labour shortage. But a recruiter (among tons of others) found me from a well known company, their opening looked good to me, so I gave it a try. After just one interview I was hired, and I didn’t even have to apply for the job.
My most recent job was with a relocation to a different country. I can’t even imagine how this would’ve been possible without LinkedIn or Glassdoor. But I achieved one of my big life goals.
A career advice I got about ten years ago: create a LinkedIn profile and always keep updating it. If you do so, you’ll see it’s kinda awkward to go back in time and retrospectively edit things and connect with former coworkers. But since you haven’t had an account yet, I don’t see any other choice for you.
As for Glassdoor, it’s maybe a bit less popular than LinkedIn, but nowadays you can find opportunities there too. The best strength of Glassdoor is that you can find reviews of companies, sometimes they’re also reporting their salaries so you know what to expect. In some cases, individual reviews may be misleading as they’re forced by the company (which is btw against the terms of use), it can be a good indicator if you find thousands of good reviews or thousands of bad reviews.
Regarding the fediverse (Mastodon, Lemmy, Pixelfed, PeerTube, etc.), they’re much better than their corporate equivalents in terms of quality, but they’re not immune to misinformation either. And also not immune to the user’s own stupidity. Obviously, don’t share what doesn’t belong there.
The only standard social media account I’d recommend is linkedin, literally only because it’s meant to network for jobs. Don’t get me wrong, it’s full of desperate corporate worship and therefore miserable to use. However, the real point is networking for career advancement and job listings
You owe the internet NOTHING. You do not owe it posts at a certain interval, you do not owe it media, nothing. Only post what you want to post, when and how you want to post it.
Social Media should serve you. It should make you happy, it should make it easier to communicate with people you care about or share interests in. If it doesn’t serve you or makes you unhappy, you should not feel any shame or regret in just walking away.
If you don’t know whether or not you want to use “insert platform here”, go ahead and sign up for a free account to reserve your name then just leave it until you find a need for it. If you end up not needing it, you can delete the account or just abandon it in place.
I would also say something like ‘don’t be afraid to ask questions’, but you’ve already got that one down.
Honestly, I’d stick with the Fediverse. At least on here you have some rights and no one (probably) will sell your information to advertisers. LinkedIn is an okay platform if you’re looking to grow your career through social media.
I have never had a social media account under my real name, apart from Linkedin, which is just there to show me for possible employers.
When I google myself, I only get results about my address and my Linkedin profile, so I do atleast exist.
As for advice about joning something like Facebook…
Stay away from politics.
Don’t just “like” random stuff, be selective and only “like” stuff you really enjoy.
Do not engage with dickheads, people will be mean to you, block them and move on, don’t engage, you can just leave.
Stay away from politics.
Never post photos of your kids/family without explicit, preferably written, consent.
Be open to take down any photo of a person if said person asks you to.
Stay away from politics.
Avoid posting content about vacations before and during them, bruglers have been known to use that info to know when a house probably is empty.
If you are a woman, please be extra careful posting images of your face online, people have and will continue to take faces of women in particular and photoshop them into porn, it is sad, but is a reality.
Be mentally prepared for a lot of hate, whatever you post, you will sooner or later annoy someone online, or even just come to attention of certain people, and they will swnd you hate filled messges, block them and don’t engage.
if you have no desire to 'participate' on a social media platform, but want people to still be able to 'google' you, perhaps a personal web page on your own domain. with a brief bio, your cv, and perhaps some interesting tidbits from hobbies or work projects.
LinkedIn isn’t a terrible idea if you just want to come up in search results. It’s quite useful for a lot of different professions for networking. You’d likely just make a profile and never look at it again.
Facebook can be almost mandatory depending on where you live. I currently live in a city where Facebook is the only meaningful source of networking, local news and information on events online. It’s not uncommon for businesses, even quite larger ones, to have their only media presence online be a Facebook page. The city is also kind of infamously hard to break into socially so you want any advantage you can get.
I don’t currently have any social media but it’s become a hindrance and I might need to reactivate. I end up using social media by proxy through family and friends anyway.
Purely condiments, ketchup please. I never use the other two. As cooking ingredients through… Mustard is indispensable. Overall I use a lot more mustard (seed, wholegrain, and Dijon) than any condiment.
As a woman who was single and dating, saying you don't have a social media is a red flag. Best case scenario, you truly don't and it's probably from having some sort of arrogant judgement value about people who do, worst case, you have a spouce you are hiding from me.
Either way, not worth the risk. Like all the women I know feel the same. Sure it's a historically newer redflag that didn't exist 10-50 years ago, but neither was worrying about crypto gambling and manospehre BS. Modern problems require modern precautions.
saying people who don‘t have social media are arrogant (or worse, suspicious) is the most red flag you can get. there was literally a greentext about this recently and I remember thinking there‘s no way someone could be that ignorant and yet here we are
If I don’t have social media I am either arrogant or I am hiding something? Sounds very ignorant and arrogant to me.
The women I know are people I can talk to, discuss social media, discuss decisions regarding social media, no red flag bullshit. Maybe it’s different in different countries.
Not every gun is always loaded, but you should always treat a gun as if it's loaded.
You can think whatever you want about my post, unfair/arrogant idc, I'm just sharing a very common view from among the women I know and the discussions I've read. Not every one out there in the dating world is a creep, but I'd rather be careful since I only had a limited time to go out.
It's not that every single person falls in to those two camps, but social media is super duper common, so why would I risk wasting my time on someone I can't vet?
Please don’t put words in my mouth, I didn’t say your post was ‘unfair’. You do you, date whatever you want. But you don’t see how it could be problematic to call all people without social media accounts arrogant or liars? And then trying to establish that view as normal by citing your social media bubble-friends and ‘discussions you have read’ is just messed up.
Not gonna lie, if I knew someone was about to try dig through all my life and history before first date, I’d tell them to fuck off. That’s like the A in ABC of not dating shitty creeps.
It’s worse than “very ignorant”. It stinks malice and stupidity at the same time - because the person is rushing conclusions (aka assuming, aka making shit up) about another person, based on little to no information.
I never saw this in real life, but if some acquaintance told me that they avoid dating people without social media presence “because it’s a red flag”, I’d look for further signs that the person is unjust and/or assumptive and consider avoiding them altogether.
I love that your post gave a probabilistic binning of someone who doesn't have a traditional social media account, which was unironically confirmed by people replying with rustled jimmies.
Come on folks, it should be clear from context that she is saying that a single woman setting up dates is going to use what limited info they have to avoid stalkers, cheaters, red pillers, and anti social people. That this might filter out perfectly normal people along with the creeps is the cost of maintaining safety and not wasting time, which is pretty much par for the course in dating. There's also a difference between exchanging info after a brief meeting, and actually knowing a person for an extended time and then dating. I doubt OP is saying that someone they studied with for three semesters would be excluded for lack of social media, because they have real life context and don't need the proxy filters.
Also, getting real close in these replies to "but I'm a nice guy" and "I'm not like other girls."
I just think it’s quite funny that in their justification, they project their own arrogant judgemental attitude towards those they justify their own behavior against.
[it’s justified because] best case scenario, [the reason why] you don’t [have social media] is probably from having some sort of arrogant judgement value about people who do
seriously? I think that’s where people disagree.
it’d be different if they said:
a single woman setting up dates is going to use what limited info they have to avoid stalkers, cheaters, red pillers, and anti social people. That this might filter out perfectly normal people along with the creeps is the cost of maintaining safety and not wasting time, which is pretty much par for the course in dating
but that’s not what they said, and that’s not what people are responding to.
Imagine if some guy said:
“honestly, dating women who have social media is a red flag, at best they’re probably attention whores, but there’s also a good chance they’re a cheating slut.”
now imagine if someone responded to the “rustled jimmies” with
I don't disagree that comment OP could have phrased it better and come across as less judgey. And I think that of someone like you left a well worded reply to the effect that it would be very fair feedback.
At the same time I feel like some of the comments she has gotten are living down to the less generous version of her statements. If that makes sense. It also sort of feels like people wallpapering over the underlying reason that many women look for social media participation, which is as a way to vet for safety reasons.
But I agree, it's not good to typecast and overgeneralize, and a better suggestion to the post OP might be that some women look for social media accounts for safety reasons, if that is part of your social issues mentioned.
Aye. My mother met dates through church and barn dances; friend of a friend vouching for a dude was enough. I am exposed to easily 50x the number of people that she was and at the same time “third places” are dwindling; mechanisms for social vetting have to evolve too.
If I can’t find any record of a person, I’m going to be really cautious about spending time IRL, same as not walking off alone with the stranger who crashed the dance who no one has ever seen before.
If people are dating through mutual contacts, sure, social media plays minimal part if any. Online dating? Hell no I’m not meeting a rando until I know they are a real person with base level social skills.
About 7 years back I joined everything there was, Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook, Twitter. Then I started using Reddit, honestly the best social media at that time. Amazing repository for information (still is). I can tell you now that all those platforms are all garbage. They’re like 70% bot content and 20% reposts by actual people, maybe 10% are actual original posts. It’s so hard to find something that is authentic and new on the internet nowadays.
Lemmy, Mastadon, the Fediverse as a whole at this point in time, has some of the best content every. Although small and not vast, the content is top notch. I scroll everyday and very often find some of the most engaging discussions in any of the subs, AskLemmy for example.
Now, if you’re going to start using social media, I suggest you use it containerized (vm) or use a new computer with a burner cell number (redpocket is like $30/year on ebay). Just to see garbage for yourself.
Edit: oh yeah, at some point I did use TikTok. You can check it out on proxitok I think. That shit is poison. I personally sifted through and saw the shit for what it really is (spyware that is coated in social media). Dancing girls everywhere, reddit voiceovers, people pointing at things over original content, some of the most cringe content known to mankind.
Don’t do it. I have stopped using Facebook and Instagram since November when they give me the choice to either pay a crazy amount or accept targeted ads.
The amount of time that I suddenly have is crazy. I have already read 7 books and Its been 20 years since I last had read a book!
Not to mention all the negativity and toxicity that I no longer get exposed to.
Its people own fault of they judge you by your being online of social media or not. That said, I don’t think you’d be any better if they did value you on what you do online.
Maybe you can create a website with your basic information a few pictures and a short descriptive text. It’s kind of a business card style website that will show up when people search your name on Google
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