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TechyDad, in What's your favorite piece of bullshit advice?
@TechyDad@lemmy.world avatar

My company switched up retirement plans and they held a seminar to explain them. The person running the seminar said that we should be putting 15% of our salaries into retirement.

Nice idea, but if I put 15% of my salary into retirement, then I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills. I’m not living extravagantly or anything (buying something for $20 for my enjoyment seems like a splurge to me). Still, whenever I seem to be getting on a better financial footing, life throws me a curve ball. Need new hearing aids ($3,600). New a new dryer ($750). Might need a new car soon.

So either I need to be paid a lot more, I will be working until I’m 90, or I put away the money and go deep into debt but can retire. (Just kidding. I’m nearing 50. I likely won’t have enough to retire. Maybe when I’m 80.)

Tikiporch,

Better start working our way to a cushy desk job so we have somewhere comfortable to die.

intensely_human, in What are your best Sleep tips and hacks?

Any amount of sleep is more valuable when you’re well hydrated.

So if you’re lying there thirsty, but worried that getting up might mean being unable to fall asleep for another hour, know that being well hydrated for 5 hours of sleep is worth more than being dehydrated for 6 hours of sleep.

DirigibleProtein, in What are your ear buds cleaning rituals?

When I see earwax on them, I brush it out with an old toothbrush, then clean the toothbrush with soap and water.

Several times a week, i put them in the dryer with my hearing aids. No, not the clothes dryer, one of these; it uses UV light to disinfect, and also dehumidifies the contents to prevent moisture damage.

Waldowal, in What's the funniest mishearing of song lyrics you've had?
@Waldowal@lemmy.world avatar

Selena Gomez - Good For You - “I’m 14 carats. I’m 14 carets I’m farting carrots. I’m farting carrots.”

Kolanaki, (edited ) in What's the funniest mishearing of song lyrics you've had?
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

Head Automatica - I Shot William H. Macy

What my friends and I heard when the album dropped: “Yeah, yeah… I put a sausage in your little hand!”

What the actual line says: “Yeah yeah, I’ll put assassins in your little head.”

Although my all-time favorite is and will forever be:

“Excuse me, while I kiss this guy” - Jimmy Hendrix

Rai,

Love Head Automatica (and Glassjaw!)

I’mma pull up I Shot William H. Macy now.

Towerofpain11, in What's the funniest mishearing of song lyrics you've had?

Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Casserole, casserole, on the wall.

eran_morad, in What's the funniest mishearing of song lyrics you've had?

Who, from time to time, has not been revved up like a douche?

corsicanguppy,

I was like last month old when a cover performance finally suggested it could be “deuce”, like the coupe, instead. I knew “douche” was wrong, but I never had the presence to ask.

I still don’t know whether that’s right.

eran_morad,

Deuce is correct. The tune that everyone knows is actually a cover by Manfred Mann of Springsteen’s original (yes, Bruce Springsteen). The lyrics were tweaked a bit. Springsteen’s lyrics are “Blinded by the light, cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night”.

intensely_human,

In the middle of the night is best

NoneYa, in What are your ear buds cleaning rituals?

I bought one of those earbud cleaning kits from Temu and use it every so often. It comes in a case similar to AirPods with a brush and other cleaning tools and works pretty well.

I only got it on Temu as one of my first purchases testing the site and trying dirt cheap Chinese junk. My expectations were low lol

scottmeme, in Texans, what's the attitude/feelings/preparations towards the coming freezing weather?

Our governor is incompetent as fuck

claycle,

Is the rule don’t assume incompetence when evil is the simpler answer.

/s

scottmeme,

I mean Abbott is pretty fucking evil, like limiting payouts after taking a massive payout from getting crushed by a tree.

A_Random_Idiot,

He definitely doesnt strike me as a stand up guy.

scottmeme,

Man won’t stand for the nation anthem 😡

corsicanguppy,

You mean like a comedian?

slurpeesoforion, in What are your best Sleep tips and hacks?

Rub one out.

cheese_greater,

Have a tool to help automate the process ;)

hactar42, in What Kind of Natural Disasters Occur Where You Live? And How Have You Prepared for Them?

I live in North Texas. We get everything other than volcanoes. We have tornados, earthquakes, and hurricanes can even make it this far in land from the Gulf of Mexico. Plus excessive heat-waves and since 2020 artic blasts. Plus if we’re not experiencing a drought there will be flash floods.

Basically, thanks to 25 years of Republican control the state is not prepared for jack shit. My current disaster prep is limited to savings as much money as I can, so I can move out of this state this summer.

hactar42, in What's the funniest mishearing of song lyrics you've had?

My sister-in-law thought the chorus of Metallica’s Battery was “backdoor raid”. Now I can’t unhear it.

I also thought in Live and Let Die Paul sang, “give an Alabama yell” instead of “give the other feller hell.”

Blamemeta, in Texans, what's the attitude/feelings/preparations towards the coming freezing weather?

Well, the freeze that took out power broke the cold records by about ten degrees, during the height of covid. Shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

ridethisbike,

Sure hope you knocked on wood after saying that

Blamemeta,

Fuck I just jinxed it.

At least in 2021, it was a low of 3 degrees. This weekend it’s a low of 10 degrees, so seven degrees warmer. Plus only a 20% chance of snow.

Kaiju,
Kaiju,
Blamemeta,

A double post accusing me of knowing about the 2 most popular hentai sites in the world?

Do you honestly think that literally anyone cares?

Kaiju, (edited )

You are a pedophile, stop banning people for bringing it up, you fuckin nonce.

And yes, we do care outside of your conservative echo chamber, you are a child sex predator. This will not stop. You will not be left alone to promote child sexual predation. It is wrong and you are wrong for protecting it. You cannot ban people on the fediverse. we will continue to find you.

i.imgur.com/7eTCce1.png

People were looking for sexual images of children, they could not find it, and you told them where to go to find it. You are a pedo helping other pedos to find pedo content. Undeniable.

Blamemeta,

Don’t even pretend it’s about children or hentai sites or whatever. It was about getting banned from your favorite troll spot. You were making a fool of yourself on /c/conservative on your karo account, you got repeated warnings and repeated short-term bans. You only started after you got perma banned.

Pratai,

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  • Pratai,

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  • Kaiju, (edited )

    lol you fuckin linked to a place to find child sexual abuse imagery, and I posted about it in your sub, so you banned me.

    Instead of giving an explanation.

    You are a pedofile.

    Stop trying to change the subject.

    Tell me how reading a comment about how you responded to the difficulty of finding child sexual abuse content by PROVIDING LINKS TO A SOURCE FOR THAT CONTENT is trolling.

    i.imgur.com/7eTCce1.png

    ^this is you doing that. You helped them, you are one of them. YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE.

    edit - I got banned once, permanently, no warnings, because I called you out for what you are. my modlog will bear that out.

    edit 2: I am not karo, jesus christ, more than one person can see you and conclude you are a pedo, you fuckin idiot paranoid pedophile.

    sigmaklimgrindset, (edited ) in What are your best Sleep tips and hacks?

    A weighted blanket.

    Don’t get one too heavy though, I accidentally did and I gave myself sleep paralysis for a week or so. That was fun.

    variants, in What are your ear buds cleaning rituals?

    I use a tissue to clean my ears before I use them and take off the little silicon plug thingy every long once in a while and wash them in my hand with some dish soap

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