I’m a penguin who was captured by human researches in Antarctica, but I was able to escape and then I got in touch with my penguin friends and leaders to raid the researchers facilities. Now the human facilities are under Penguin control, so we can use humans communication media like the Internet. Anything more you are interested in?
It was very hard at first, we used to slap many times and hard enough touchscreens, but this turned out to be unreliable. Then, we developed special penguin gloves that heat themselves so we can use touchscreen almost seamlessly.
Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy, and you don’t look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
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