I killed myself. Or rather, I tried to kill myself. I mean, I did kill myself, but then I was still alive, in a new universe. My memories from the previous universe survived when I woke up here.
It made me realize that I literally cannot escape. Even through death.
That has given me a sort of “burned my ships” commitment to life that has made me truly alive. I also realized that all other humans are also trapped in a quantum immortality situation that will last for eternity as far as I can tell, so my level of caring and compassion for others has also increased.
I know it sounds totally fucked, but by realizing that I literally cannot die, it made me realize how important every moment is. Because every choice is a seed of eternity. The value of doing things right just went infinite for me, and I’ve never been happier, more productive, more generous, more committed to doing things right.
A series of experiences that I will not relate as I have zero evidence for has convinced me with visceral certainty that we are all immortal.
The thing I fear is the fact that death does exist, but only objectively. This means that for each of us who is going to live forever, that doesn’t mean everyone around us will.
I mean, it doesn’t mean they’re guaranteed to. Hopefully whatever narrative the universe produces that leads to the indefinite extension of our consciousness, will involve things that also make others around us able to extend their lives alongside us.
So we don’t have to be alone, for eternity.
Eventually, each of us will be alone. It’s just statistics. Infinite time, and eventually the improbable will happen. The narrative will continue to evolve into eventually being a narrative which produces the survival of one person, or one conscious entity of whatever kind it needs to be to survive for billions of years.
My guess is at that point, the narrative will have evolved into that entity being a god. Then that god will create a multitude of new people and try its best to let them be free.
Just thinking out loud here. This is all new to me.
So basically in order to not be alone, the eternally-surviving consciousness spawns new separate consciousnesses. And the cycle repeats. Crazy.
Well, I can’t kill myself until my cat dies because he doesn’t like other people and I don’t want him to have a sad life. Some people would consider that a good thing.
It allowed me to actually sort through all of my mental health problems and confront myself on who I was and who I wanted to be
Not to mention how much my physical health has improved
It was honestly the hardest thing I’ve done as well given that I started drinking when I was 12.
I’ve been sober now for 6 years
Edit: In 6 years it will go from “the longest I’ve been sober since I started drinking” to “The longest stretch of time I’ve been sober in my whole life”
Hey congratulations! Addiction is like an onion: it has so many layers! You’ll likely shed a tear or two once you decide to cut it open, but once diced and sauteed (i.e. overcome your addiction), it will add so much flavor to life!
Getting sober is my pick too. Im just over a year in from my last drink. Ive excelled at work, had 3 raises, finished my degree, made quality new friends, met a beautiful woman who is now my best friend, took a chance and kissed her one night, and she kissed back. Life is great.
Met my partner who shares the same mental disorder, the only person I know who could teach me to cope and become a functional adult when I had almost lost all hope.
I was incredibly lucky and met a Korean in school, so I was able to get all the info I needed about what to expect. I’ve been here 3 years now, sure I miss my family and friends but I’ve been granted a new life.
To anyone who thinks their life sucks: move. Everyone has an excuse, but at the end of the day you’ll either stay where you are until you die, or you’ll go somewhere new.
It’s not so easy to just “move” like you say. Most people can’t afford to uproot their lives and start somewhere else. Im happy for you but don’t assume others can just “move” if things are bad for them.
I made this comment explicitly because people say it’s not easy to just “move”. The truth is… Yea, of course it’s hard. But unless you have a health condition that requires weekly hospital attendance, it’s a matter of how much you want it
That’s not true at all. Many are living paycheck to paycheck and can’t afford the price of a major change like this. “It’s a matter of how much you want it” is a brain dead reply. There are people who literally cant afford to live where they are now.
Teaching jobs will pay for your flight and accommodation (provided you have a degree) . I came to Korea with just enough cash to survive for a month. It’s actually not expensive.
It must be nice to come from a world where you can just get any degree you want and then have the ability to move whenever you want and find any job in a new country and have the money to float the whole process.
Another option would be to become a volunteer and join an organisation that does volunteering work abroad. There are possibilities for them sponsoring your flights, accommodation, and meals.
I got engaged early last year, planned our wedding toward the end of the year. In between, I got a new job with salary more than twice of my previous job.
Now I am happily married, and after a raise my current salary is almost triple my previous job. I’m still trying to convince my former colleagues (just the cool ones) to also find new jobs.
I’m a graphic designer. When I was a teenager, I enjoyed making avatars and signatures for people on forums which gave me a headstart on developing some of the skills I would use later on. My parents pushed me into nursing but after two years in, I knew it wasn’t for me so I made the switch to graphic design and I’m fortunate that it worked out.
I think this path is great and I envy you a little. Very few people manage to maintain the passion of their youth and then earn money with it. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this path continues for you!
Also got into graphic design after starting off on a path of really not knowing what to do, but leaning towards engineering. Went into that program before I just said “Fuck it, let’s try graphic design instead” and really it was the best decision I ever made. Got a job right out of school, student loans paid off within 5 years after graduating and I’m in a relatively fulfilling career making more than either of my parents made.
By luck: meeting my husband online in a random forum. Self explanatory.
By choice: getting top surgery (a double mastectomy). What a literal and figurative weight off my chest! Being able to just walk outside without wrestling into a binder or being worried about if people noticed my chest was such a game changer. You don’t realize what a gift it is to be able to get up and go outside on a whim until you can’t do it.
I’ve been bootstrapping the shit out of myself, picking myself up everytime the economy kicks us into a deeper well.
Hell next year we’ll actually be breaking even at the end of the month, while we’ve been eating only 2/3rd of what our bodies require to get through the day in a normal functioning manner. I wonder how long it takes for this economy to actually make us homeless because it seems like that is only a year or 2 away.
Surprisingly (to me), having a child. I never wanted kids. Never even babysat, didn’t like them-- hated how silly, loud, and disgusting they are. Then I got pregnant by accident. I was terrified. I was abused as a child and have a bad temper, so I was afraid I would lose it and hurt my kid. Pregnancy was difficult, labor and delivery moreso, but the instant he popped out … I cannot describe to you the transformation. I am sure it is purely hormonal; pitocin is a helluva drug. My husband even said, “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” It was akin to a lobotomy. Suddenly I adored babies and wanted to hold them and coo at them. I became more mellow and patient, went from the sort of conservative mindset that thinks “get a job,” to the theretofore incomprehensible liberal views like “most in jail aren’t really to blame for the circumstances they find themselves in, let’s help them instead of punish them.”
My son is by far the biggest blessing in my life. He is a companion that I never grow tired of, a wise sounding board, and a balm to my old age. I am literally a kinder, better person because I had him.
Yeah. My toxic as shit ex wife decided she wanted a divorce. What I perceived to be the worst day of my life was actually the best day of my life I just didn’t know it yet.
I met this extremely successful woman that has shown me life can be amazing. I never thought life could be this good.
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