My best thing happened unexpectedly on March 15, 1973. (Probably makes me the oldest person in the room.) My high school guidance counselor died in his sleep. Bummer for him, but lucky for me. Back in the ’60s, my school system had me pegged as a gifted student, which was a one-size fits all label. That tag followed me to high school, where as a green sophomore, I was assigned the “gifted” guidance counselor, Mr. Daly. Daly was also a history teacher, and greatly loved and admired. He was a retired USMC Vietnam vet, and suffered from Marfan syndrome, giving him a strange and imposing appearance. He was a force of nature, that guy. I was 15 when we first met, and I had no idea about what I would do with my life. Because of my label, Daly had it all figured out. In his mind I was on my way to become a doctor, lawyer, CEO, etc. Yeah — no thanks. I had no goals, only passions — Photography and Design. I wanted to enroll in my school’s tech classes and follow my interests. Daly squashed that idea. Wasn’t going to happen. I was heartbroken. As a kid of 15 I had no leverage, and didn’t know how I could get what I wanted. My parents were no help; “He probably knows best” was the best they could do. A few weeks later, when I came to school on the 16th of March, word was that Mr. Daly had died the previous night. While the school was in mourning, I was a pretty happy kid. My new counselor had no objections to me taking the photo and design track. :: After high school, university and some preliminary jobs, I started my own marketing communications business (then called freelancing, today gig work) and continued for 30+ years by myself. Of course the work had its ups and downs, but I was happy and always employed. :: Now I’m 66 and retired, and I always wonder what my life would be like if Mr. Daly had lived and imposed his vision on my life. Guess I got lucky. :: Rest in peace, Mr. D. https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/19044282-6e7b-474b-b47d-eb65e6143bab.png
My guidance counsellor moment was probably around 1975-76. I was deep into comp sci; a friend would tell me years later that the teacher knew less than at least a couple of us. I would ask him a question, he would say he’d look into it. Unbeknownst to me, he wandered over to the other advanced student (Phil) and put my question to him. Phil would reply, teacher would make his way back to me and share the knowledge. The same thing would happen if Phil had a question; teacher would come to me for the answer.
My friend watched this whole thing with amusement.
Now for the GC moment. Career counselling.
I went to the GC’s office full of electric enthusiasm, hoping to learn of the great CS things that awaited me after uni. I told him about my love and fascination with computers. He had the reaction, the kind a parent has when they need to tell their child their favourite pet has died. He told me that it might be fun and make for an interesting hobby, but that there were no computer-related careers. And that I should consider another vocation. I was crushed.
I even spent some years in university studying things that were unrelated to CS. My career didn’t get any traction until about 10 years after HS, unsurprisingly in the field I was most passionate about.
Anyway, I’ve been a computer professional for about 35 years now.
Growing up in the clutches of devout religious thinking had such a profoundly negative impact on my mental health and view of the world in general that relinquishing it was one of the most refreshing and revitalizing experiences of my life.
Religion teaches you that this life is only important as a stepping stone to eternity, that leads to some incredibly short sighted and unhealthy living. Accepting that this life is actually important for its own sake instead of as some sort of twisted game from some random deity helped me begin to make choices that objectively did more for humanity and myself.
Religion teaches you that evidence and logic are not routes to “truth” but feelings, faith, and obedience are. Untangling that mess was tough, as a result for decades now every single thought and belief has been in question. The pain of being so wrong but so convinced I was right has led to a bit of an issue allowing myself to believe anything
Religion is one of the largest stains on our species. I don’t blame religious people, they’re victims, but by george do I hate that we have perpetuated such tragic belief systems.
Me too. I was going to be a preacher. I went and studied at a place where people from all around the world (mostly Africa) came to live and study. I met some interesting people and I loved the experience.
That was going to be my life. I thought nothing was more important than saving eternal souls.
I met the only atheist I had ever known at that point. I was 17. I just couldn’t convince him. He told me to go online and look at other religions. Not the religions themselves, but the people who practiced them. He asked me to observe their passion and relate it to my own. He said that if I asked the right questions I’d come to the same conclusions as him. He wasn’t trying to convince me, he wanted me to convince myself.
Being diagnosed with extreme MTHFR, getting on a high dose of methylfolate and the correct meds.
Went from having daily, very heavy brain fog to zero. Thought for years I was just lazy and stupid. Doing simple things left me more mentally exhausted than others, and I just thought everyone felt like I did, but were better at pushing through it.
Turns out, not lazy or stupid at all.
Went back to school, got my AA and into a field desperate to hire. Doubled my salary.
No idea what MTHFR is, but first thing I thought of was “Motherfucker” and thought that was a funny thing to be diagnosed as. Congrats on getting help with whatever it actually is.
Yeah, they actually call it The Motherfucker Gene, so everyone else had the same thought, lol.
It actually stands for methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase, which is the enzyme that metabolizes folic acid into methylfolate. Most people have a bit of an issue with it, but mine is like 80% defunct. For example, taking extra folic acid supplements while pregnant would do almost nothing for the baby, because my body just won’t metabolize it. I have to take high doses of methylfolate instead to get the same benefits.
And thank you you! It really has been life-changing!
Absolutely meeting my husband. Joining the military absolutely laid the groundwork for breaking out of my conservative/republican ideology, but it was truly the work my husband put into me to pull me in Progressive thinking. I tell him all the time how he’s made me into a MUCH better human being.
I think it’s eye opening to see how much better everyone’s lives are when they have things like free Healthcare, subsidized school, and subsidized housing.
Not to mention many of our deployments occurring to locations where religious extremism has dominated society.
The military used to lean heavily red as a rule, but I think looking around and seeing the struggles of our civvie family and friends makes us go, “Fuck, wouldn’t it be awesome if EVERYONE could have this?”
I think you’ll still qualify for Tricare after you get out. Before my Dad passed, he was on Tricare (after having been out of the military for decades) and I think they only just recently started charging for it the past few years, but it was still ridiculously cheaper than any private health insurance rates (for him it was something like $12/month vs $600/month private insurance). I stayed away from getting him on because I assumed there was something wrong with it, but nope, I only regret not getting him on Tricare sooner.
My daughter. Although she has a lot of issues and it has been a very hard road, she has made me a better person and a less angry person. She is definitely by far the best thing that ever happened to me. My biggest fear is outliving her.
My dad used to say this all the time (he has long since passed). My sister nearly died about twenty years ago and one of the weird memories I have from the period is feeling so sorry for him.
Anyway I totally get it but do try not to obsess on it for what it’s worth.
Bought a house for $18,000 during the mid 90’s in a run down neighborhood. Now the neighborhood is the most desirable in an urban city. After the 2007 real estate crash I was able to move to suburbs and I rent out my original house. It was more luck than anything plus a willingness to live in a rough part of town. I’m always playing a game in my head now. What neighborhood is next?
Learned a trade that I love as a career (industrial electrician), fell in love with my boyfriend, bought and renovated a home from 1890 together, plan to get married eventually!
I’m a gay guy, although it’s not exactly something I bring up around my coworkers. The exception being the shop I worked in for 7 years because those fellas were like family.
That’s cool about your daughter though, the trades are a very straight male dominated field
Plus one to psychedelics. They helped me explore myself and my relationship with others. Let me lower the walls, empathize. Been a while since the first time, may have gone a little hard in the paint with them at first, but now it’s one time a year just to remember everything.
Same. Well, kind of - I used to, until the company was bought up and corporate bullshit took over. I am in the process of drafting the paperwork for my next job with the people I used to work with, so I can once more enjoy my job.
I stayed at a community college instead of going to the shit 4 year universities that accepted me. Saved me time and gave me more opportunities to grow and meet new friends
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