TheaoneAndOnly27, 1 year ago (edited 11 months ago)

In December 2022 I realized I skipped seeing my cardiologist for 6 years. Did a 24 hour monitor. Apparently my heart rate was dropping to 21 bpm and stopping pumping for up to three seconds. So in February 2023 they cut me open and give me a pacemaker. Months go on and I am still getting winded. So they did another heart Cath procedure (on the 28th) and it turns out my heart is doing worse than thought even, so in the next 3-5 years I'll need a heart transplant. But the make up of my organ layout means I'll need a specialist, which just all sounds so slim. I am 33 and so fucking tired.

I hope to leave some of this stress behind. I know there's a lot I can't escape now, but I hope I can leave some of the anger and fear behind. It's been hard to be a good dad or partner this year just from feeling so stressed, and if I don't know how long we will have I just want my daughter to remember a happier dad.