How to cope with existing right now?

It feels like no matter where I turn some septuagenarian, or older, is making life miserable for myself and others. Usually these are older white Christian conservatives, obsessed with a delusional sense of reality that no longer has a basis in fact, or perhaps never did.

There is a disproportionate amount of wealth concentrated in the older generation and those who will inherit it will probably be even worse with that money than the last generation. Certainly we see evidence of that already, anyone in their 30’s who has parents who help them out VS those who don’t have that have radically different outcomes. For some reason those lucky enough to come from good families ascribe laziness and bad attitude to those who don’t have the family support, as if they are somehow enjoying “self made success” while mummy does their laundry for them.

No generation previous needed this kind of assistance well into adulthood, but this infantilisation of working adults has happened because of the hoarding of wealth, refusing to pass on the torch in workplaces and just blocking change for the sake of stoking petty politics. Most of us will never own our own home but all the politicians want to talk about is whether it’s OK to dehumanise trans people or not.

I’m 36 this year. For most of my teens I thought there’d be some kind of tipping point where the conservative boomers would fuck off or at least let the next generation step in, but that hasn’t happened. Back in the 1990’s you could be a girl and wear jeans and be empowered, now this is considered some kind of woke statement. As if we recently invented this idea of women and men being equal.

The faces of my two dogs, my cat and my husband are all that keep me going. Knowing they need me gives me just enough to get out of bed in the morning and start moving… but I’m struggling to do even that without having a breakdown. My husband and I have medical expenses we can’t afford and are borrowing money to survive right now. I run my own business and just feel this immense pressure on my shoulders, that again is compounded by how unfair the world is right now.

Anyone got any advice for coping with this late stage capitalist hellscape?

wagesj45,
@wagesj45@kbin.social avatar

There is a disproportionate amount of wealth concentrated in the older generation and those who will inherit it will probably be even worse with that money than the last generation.

Don't worry, this isn't going to happen. Inheritance, I mean. Almost all of that generations wealth is going to be eaten by elder care. At $10k per month, and zero of that being covered by Medicare until you're basically destitute, nursing homes are going to demolish that store of wealth and their descendants will be left with nothing.

FollyDolly,
@FollyDolly@lemmy.world avatar

I feel you. We have had the rug pulled out from under us so often we might as well lay on the floor. I wish I had some advice to give you, but I don’t. All I can say is I truly sympathize becuase I am going through the same thing. We are just going to have to hang in there, for better or worse.

CliveRosfield,

Find a hobby besides reading bad news on the internet, it’s not that hard

stembolts, (edited )

| Find a hobby besides reading bad news on the internet, it’s not that hard

Actually it can be, when the same world that generates that news has commoditified every aspect of your existence to a transaction. Transactions you can’t afford.

You’re conflating debbie-downers with a generation of humans living a worse life than their parents. When a damn is cracked, overflowing with water, drowning people, the solution is not, “Hey just like, don’t pay attention, man! Life is good!”

That type of advice doesn’t go very far with starving, unhealthy (unable to afford health) people.

Some of us in the United States (me for example) can give you a list of people we know who have died because they were unable to afford insulin (first died in high school twenty years ago, most recent died last year), we know what our country has become because we cannot escape the damage it is inflicting on a generation, a generation poorer than the ones before.

CliveRosfield, (edited )

You’re overcomplicating it and making this far more harder than it needs to be. You hobby can be going out on walks, drawing, playing very cheap sports, etc. No more no less. There is barely an economical factor for finding a cheap enjoyable hobby.

And I’m not advocating toxic positivity or being blissfully ignorant. All I’m saying is finding something enjoyable to do in the fleeting life you have is better than being miserable all day by going out of your way to read bad news on the internet.

KpntAutismus,

distract yourself, ignorance truly is bliss.

i have multiple hobbies currently. i collect HotWheels, Nerf guns and the occasional LEGO Technic set.

3D Printing has been very fun, most entry level machines are 200€ and you can use fusion360 for free. the gridfinity system will restore order to any cluttered room.

also comitting to watching shows, reading books gives me a great sense of accomplishment.

to add to that, i set up an old PC as a NAS running truenas and jellyfin as a docker app. i’m also planning to add nextcloud to it.

i’m still very depressed, but without my hobbies i wouldn’t be here right now.

crazyminner, (edited )

You’re awesome, and hobbies are awesome.

Thank you for sharing.

I have a lot of similar hobbies, although I’ve been working so much lately I haven’t had much time to work on them. Can’t wait for the summer then I’ll have more time!

I highly recommend looking into Audiobook shelf if you listen to audio books.

KpntAutismus,

having to go to work is definetely one of the sources for my depression. and without giving too much personal info, i look forward to not having to do it in the future.

i do sometimes listen to podcasts, but haven’t tried audiobooks. i think my ebook reader can do them, i might try that sometime.

solomon42069, (edited )

I have a veggie garden, three pets, two businesses, multiple digital and physical projects…

All the distractions in the world don’t help much when my husband is writhing in pain and we can’t even see a surgeon. The Australian health system thinks walking, being able to work and living without pain isn’t a priority, in the next week we’ll have been on the waiting list for a year.

It gets my goat when we can’t even get into the public hospital without having to walk 500m through the car park because the private facilities have taken over the entire complex.

bandario,
@bandario@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

The Australian health system thinks walking, being able to work and living without pain isn’t a priority, in the next week we’ll have been on the waiting list for a year.

The global opiate crisis has created a situation where normal Australians in acute or chronic pain can no longer access pain management. The crazy thing is, due to strict prescribing guidelines we never really had the kind of problems that were seen in the USA, yet we have made doctor petrified to prescribe where there is genuine pain.

2 years on a waiting list is a very long time to try and get on with life in serious pain, and I’m very sorry that you are dealing with this. I know it can be difficult to carve out the time and money, but if you can push hard to see a pain management specialist you might have more luck. There are synthetic options that can be taken long term whilst you await your specialist appointment/ surgery but you have to PUSH. Visit the ER daily until you get an outcome if you can’t afford to buy your way in.

This country is under attack and every single person that buys into the lie of private healthcare drives another nail into our coffin.

KpntAutismus,

that fucking sucks.

my dad told me of a friend who broke his neck and was paralyzed from the neck down once. he was able to recover almost fully, but only because he was a football player and had a lot of sponsors paying for his therapy. otherwise he would’ve remained paralyzed probably.

not even tax euro funded hospitals help often times.

we are all royally fucked at the moment and we can’t really do anything about it except electing the least corrupt and most empathetic people as possible.

but whatever you do, your husband needs you. even if you can’t cure whatever problem there is, i’m sure being there for him and caring as much as possible, even if it’s very exhausting, means a lot to him.

that’s an easy thing to just type out, and i have no idea how hard it actually is. but keep going. this is what we do, this is what we have always done. that’s how we survive.

don’t become a statistic, become the change you want to see.

squiblet,
@squiblet@kbin.social avatar

I saw this 70 year old guy waiting at the hospital today, with his 70 year old wife in a wheelchair, produce wearing by his brand new TRUMP hat (along with a chain wallet, like he was 20 and it was 1996). My thought was: why the fuck does this loser have to fuck up society before he dies of old age?

SadSadSatellite,

He needs something to focus on other than dying and his sick wife. Don’t worry about it, just negate his vote, he’ll die first.

Huschke,

That might be good advise for America, but where in from it’s mainly young uneducated people that vote for parties that fuck up our system because they are blinded by racism. And guess which group of people is growing and not dying off? 😐

Bo7a, (edited )

Why is it always ok to shit on chain wallets, long hair on a man, or any other non-political style choice?

I sponsor and attend protests - have done so since the '90s. I help out at shelters and food banks and soup kitchens. I champion the causes of all people who are oppressed or otherwise neglected by society.

But my fucking chain wallet and ponytail make me less of a person?

Why?

squiblet,
@squiblet@kbin.social avatar

The chain wallet looked goofy on this 70 year old guy, that’s all.

Bo7a, (edited )

Sorry if I came off as attacking you.

I have been seeing a lot of posts that call out simple things like how I dress as indicative of being some MAGAt or bigot and I was just venting that out here. Like jeans and a plaid shirt with sunglasses are now the uniform of the standard racist asshole - But I don’t think it is fair to lump everyone in those clothes together. And if someone posted the same thing about a distinctly 2000s fashion, or dyed hair, they would get corrected quickly, but since my style is ‘old’ more people feel open to judging the book by its cover.

I did not mean to offend, or call you out personally, and I will try to be better about how I express these things going forward.

For reference - I am in my mid-40s, but I need my chain wallet since I bounce around the forest/homestead on tractors or dirt bikes a lot while building or doing chores, and would certainly lose it without some tether. I don’t have any excuse for my ponytail other than i have just always had it :p I’m sure baldness will end that soon too!

JustZ, (edited )

jeans and a plaid shirt with sunglasses are now the uniform of the standard racist asshole

Right? Like, you could just as easily be a cholo asshole. /j

Bo7a,

Exactly!

JustZ, (edited )

You left out the Trump hat and the neglected wife.

Bo7a,

Well I also hate Trump with the burning passion of a million dying suns - and I love my wife more than I love breathing.

JustZ, (edited )

Well, see, so if you recognize Trump for what he is, and you found a woman, a divine giver of life, to tolerate you, I can give you a pass for your wallet chain, Oakley’s, even a mullet, you must be a very decent person.

Lightsong,

I feel the same but what help me is living in my reality, living with my gf, my apartment, set goal that I want to achieve (getting cast iron pan, dog in 2025, etc) and just focus on my own personal thing, and do my hobb(ies) without fail. Do not skip on your hobby.

Disconnect from news and social media as much as you can. And I don’t mean deactivate your account, just ignore and turn the notifications off.

Drewelite,

I think this is the right answer. A lot of people say disconnect, but that’s only part of it. It’s more about refocusing on what you can control. We tend to focus on problems, so we can solve them. But current technology encourages us to focus on problems we can’t solve. Leaving most to feel doomed, trapped, anxious, and depressed.

RealFknNito,
@RealFknNito@lemmy.world avatar

Temporary media blackout.

doublejay1999,
@doublejay1999@lemmy.world avatar

I would see a doctor.

ZombiFrancis,

Owning your own business and self employment are kind of not specifically designed to thrive in this kind of economy. Unless you and/or your business have a prospect being bought out by a competitor you might be burdening yourself with an unnecessary degree of stress.

It can be stressful to run your own business if your livelihood depends on it.

Now this depends heavily on what kind of business you run too and how much you enjoy it.

solomon42069, (edited )

We’re a home studio that makes websites, software and digital media. I’ve thought about temporarily accepting a job but I fear that would just compromise my mental health to the point where I can’t work at all.

In Australia we IT people get paid about half what our USA colleagues make, our expertise is treated with revulsion, even though it’s critical, and people act like our neurodivergent/introvert personality types are a hindrance to a successful and productive work environment.

I love what I do, but I’d sooner stack supermarket shelves than go back to being some corrupt conservative dickheads golden ticket, again.

ZombiFrancis,

What is the public service sector like is AUS? In the US there is kind of a large void left from boomers retiring and gen X not working public sector. It is leaving a lot of vacancies in local governments across the country which are all traditionally pretty low pace, decently compensated, with pensions and benefits.

Where I am these jobs are promoting up to 90% teleworking capabilities as well. There is a whole generation of vacancies pretty much in the US and I wonder if AUS is similar at all.

Texas_Hangover,

All IT people in Australia are defective?

finnolin, (edited )

i recommend to read “Hope in the Dark” by Rebecca Solnit

drmoose,

Have you considered moving? The capitalist hellscape is mostly an internet meme real in few places. Most places around the world are growing.

highenergyphysics,

Carry a gun and wish a motherfucker would.

Works pretty well for me!

JustZ,

Yes when people have no control over their emotions they cling to control over their physical space.

dhcmrlchtdj__,
@dhcmrlchtdj__@lemmy.world avatar

You’re going to kill some people or threaten to do so and expect that to make the world a better place?

Th4tGuyII,
@Th4tGuyII@kbin.social avatar

Sucks doesn't it -- I too used to think that the Boomers would at some point exit stage left and let newer generations take over, but not only have they continued to hold onto power well into their 60s/70s, they've also done everything they can to consolidate their own power and riches, while knocking the ladder out from under the later generations.

My only advice is to take a break for the news and focus on yourself, maybe find a de-stressing hobby like drawing or sewing. Aside from that, I just wish you best of luck.

Presi300, (edited )
@Presi300@lemmy.world avatar

Just don’t worry about it… It’s there, it’s happening, but it’s not like you can do anything about it, just sit back and enjoy the things you enjoy. Worrying about bullshit isn’t gonna fix it.

Texas_Hangover,

Have you tried not being such a whiney little bitch?

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