May I suggest a reading of the Voltaire book Candide? Phrases like “Everything will be ok” or as the book often suggests “all is for the best” in the “best of all possible worlds” will take on a whole new meaning.
The book is funny most of the time but it has a very sharp cynical edge about life and positive thinking and how it doesn’t mean much in the face of most life changing events.
When I was young life was pure chaos. It was a constant battle and I often looked for things that would ground me and let my mind rest for a bit. I discovered the Peter Gabriel song Washing of the Water. I really liked how he sang it and so I memorized the words. They are good and when its a very dark time for me, the words are a great way for me to gain a little mental peace.
The whole song is beautiful. The perfect balance of wanting calm in hard times and finding peace in the nature of things piped.video/watch?v=Ic4N6rT6Qks
One I like from Malazan Book of the Fallen: “I am not yet done.” The mantra of a man who’s duty it was to bear the souls of the fallen for his faith as it crushed him.
It’ll sound cheesy, but “Don’t Go Hollow” is that phrase for me.
In 2019, I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. When at in-patient, we didn’t get much to express ourselves. Every meal, we ate with plastic utensils and foam plates and cups for safety. I would carve that phrase into the cups, along with a bonfire.
“Don’t Go Hollow” goes back to Dark Souls. It’s a phrase that means something in the game world, but it’s also metaphorical. What’s an avatar without the player? It’s like a body without spirit. You’re not progressing in the game because you checked out. If you want to keep going, you need to be present, to keep trying.
Other ones that come to mind are “This is a moment. It will pass.” which I said in the showers that scared the fuck out of me, and “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.” “Let it rip,” from the Bear is another one I like.
I have two:
Way back when I was 16, I worked as a host at a busy restaurant, I would get really stressed when we had a long line at the door (the wait would easily get up to 1 hour on weekends), and I just started repeating, "you can only do what you can do, you can't do any more". As someone who has always really struggled with the need to please everyone all the time, it's really helpful when I'm running busy events (I work as an events manager now) or when anything is approaching FUBAR because of things beyond my control.
On a broader, life-changes perspective, I always loved a quote from The Riches (said by the actor now known as Suzy Eddie Izzard),
"Life's a river kid, you gotta go where it takes you."
Its helped a very risk-adverse me take some huge leaps and I've not regretted any of them.
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