I feel so terrible for the GF. Not only was she a victim of rape, she had to make a choice that would either cause her to lose her family or her boyfriend. Though I don’t think OP was wrong in any of his actions, it’s still such a terrible situation for her.
Fully admit I am right there with you. New to Lemmy as well. I have been trying to bring some of my favorite subreddits here which is how I ended up finding this community as well.
My (30 M) girlfriend (30 F) buried all of my beans in the woods and won’t tell me where, causing a fight between us - April 7 2020
With all that is going on, we have stocked up on supplies, including some canned goods. I ordered a few weeks ago 30 cans of beans. 10 are black beans, 10 are kidney beans, and 10 are pink beans. Also, I ordered 15 cans of chickpeas. I thought this is a reasonable amount of beans and chickpeas to have every now and then and would last for quite some time.
However last night I opened the cabinet because I wanted to make a vegetarian chili using two cans of beans, but all of the beans were gone. What the hell?
I asked my girlfriend and she told me she buried all of the beans in the woods.
At first I thought she was joking, but she explained, no, she had buried the beans in the woods. WTF?
I asked her to explain and she told me she was afraid that “if things get bad” we might have to worry about “looters or whatever” and that the beans would be in danger of being stolen. I said I thought this was completely ridiculous and unlikely. She became angry at me and said she “is protecting our beans.”
According to her logic, the beans are safely buried in the woods behind our apartment complex, and if we ever need some beans she will go to the “stash” and dig up a can or two, but would prefer if we save them all for “if things get worse”.
I said why only bury the beans, why not bury our more valuable items? She said the canned food was most valuable for long-term means, and that since we get fresh food in our online grocery deliveries, it would make sense to continue to stockpile beans. She intends to go bury more beans in the woods every week.
This was too insane for me and I got very upset. I demanded to know where the beans were buried, and she refused to tell me. She said if I knew she was afraid I’d dig them up, I said damn right I would. She said “I will never jeopardize the beans.” I crossed the line and said she was out of her mind, she stormed away. We have not talked since last night.
I think it is completely ridiculous to bury the beans in the woods and I want to find them and dig them up, but apparently my girlfriend is taking this very seriously. How can I convince her to tell me where the beans are? And do you think I should convince her to get therapy or something or should I break up with her? So confused. Is this normal for a girlfriend to bury beans or otherwise hide them?
TL;DR - My girlfriend buried the beans in the woods and will not tell me where they are.
The following day I tried to put my foot down, and I’m not usually a foot downer but there are rare issues where compromise is out of the question, and I foolishly decided this was one of those issues. I demanded to know where the beans were buried and I told her if she was going to bury beans I paid for in the woods that I would move out. We fought about it and I kept insisting.
In hindsight I should have just let it go and created my own hidden stash of beans in the apartment, and given her time to maybe cool down about this bean burying scenario, but I blew it all out of proportion. Yeah it’s weird to bury beans in the woods but why did I have to press it? What’s the harm at the end of the day? In the grand scheme of things? But I kept demanding her to take me to the beans, or at least draw a map or something, and finally she BROKE UP WITH ME. Over the beans. I have lost the love of my life because I couldn’t let the damn beans go. I am in disbelief. She moved out. Not only am I heartbroken but I am now paying full rent instead of 50% which is a huge financial issue for me.
TL;DR - I kept demanding that my girlfriend show me where she buried the beans in the woods and she got so angry at me that she ended our relationship and moved out. My heart is shattered and my finances are jeopardized because of a bean hoard.
There’s an original poster for each post. When you’re talking in one post about another post, there is another original poster from the other post. What you call that other original poster is up to you, but OOP is what the BORU sub settled on.
The person who posts a repost is an OP for that specific post, to differentiate them from the other commenters in the post. It’s not like Original Content, which his the root source of all reposts, it’s just a term that (automatically, by the site’s own labels) refers to the person who made that specific post, regardless of its content.
Lmao now I’m definitely not going to bother. Not least because a Google search will come up with multiple answers, because acronyms have multiple uses, so I still won’t know what you’re talking about.
Seeing as you’re not really arguing in good faith in any way, shape or form, I’m out.
Oh yay!! I’m glad they’ve already made the update to the codebase. I wasn’t expecting it to be that fast lol.
You’re welcome to point people here if you want! Though, that one could be for Lemmy updates only & they could be cross-posted to this one too! Whatever you’d like to do :)
We actually don’t want to focus on Reddit lol, it probably comes across that way because we’re mostly Reddit refugees who loved best of Redditor updates :). I’m going to be posting from AskAManager & others too, but will probably wait for the character limit update.
Same. Although it’s heartbreaking when the boy reaches the posting cap and I’m left on a cliffhanger. I’d rather not give Reddit the traffic if I can help it.
Across the board, I feel like there’s more bots, more spam, and more creative writing trying to pass for real stories. It was always there, but the mods and the tools in my app helped hide it from me and made the experience better. Now, those are more or less gone.
Here’s the update that is linked at the end of the OP:
Met my biological dad for the first time ever and I’m very happy about it (update)
Lots of you asked to let you know how it goes meeting my biological dad and to say it was emotional….is an understatement. I’ve been feeling so many things since this all happened. We met a few days ago. Was originally supposed to be almost 2 weeks ago but shit kept coming up. Work and then I got sick (not covid) for days. But we made it happen. Tbh this was more nervous for me because I didn’t know anything about him. With my bio mom it was different because I watched her from far and got to know her a little before it came out. I asked my bio mom if she could be there too just because she knows him better so it was the 2 of us waiting for him at this park.
He was already crying before we even got to him. This guy is strong too so he pulled me in for the biggest bear hug and crying 😅🥲
He told me he wants me to know that they loved me so much and he loves me. I lost count how many times he’d come back in for one more hug. This definitely got to him. And he kept saying thank you God a few times. Looking at my face. The feelings man, the feelings… We had so many of them. Hearing him tell me how much they love me even back then. It meant so much for me to hear that and ngl that had me holding him tight too.
I’m sure to everyone at the park it was weird seeing 3 crying people lol. My bio dad said he cried so many times just driving over here he didn’t think he had anymore tears until he saw us. When we were all sitting down it hit me that my bio mom was NOT lying when she said we look alike 😂 obviously he’s older but still holy shit the similarities.
He brought gifts too which was a surprise. It was really nice he told me I don’t have to keep them if I don’t want it but he felt weird not coming with anything and he’s wanted to give this to me for a long time.
One was a teddy bear holding a picture frame of him at the hospital holding me (he was 15 years old, it’s still crazy to realize that ). And then the other thing was a journal. The journal thing was stuff he said he started writing to me years after I was adopted. He was in therapy and that that helped him to cope thinking he would give them to me one day. His way of still feeling connected to me. I haven’t read everything yet but some of the pages were his thoughts and like if he’s talking to me. How he felt when they found out she was pregnant, then the adoption, everything going on in his mind when he first got to hold me as a baby. I didn’t even know he was at the hospital too.
It was not what I was expecting… it really got me. I read some more of what he wrote last night that really got me crying. I’m sad to think how much this affected them emotionally for years. Also think it’s pretty sweet he wanted to write this for me. We talked about his own life which was pretty hard. His struggles with home life and the feelings he had about giving me up. Then he wanted to know everything about me. Basically with the same questions my bio mom had. I made sure they knew they made the right decision. Because my life was pretty great.
He looked like he wanted to cry when he knew that because that’s all they hoped for and it was something he always wondered about for years. My bio mom left a bit after we were more comfortable so we could talk more in private once it didn’t feel too awkward between us. From there he told me stories about how he met my bio mom. Sometimes he’d point out stuff he notice about me that reminds him of her or me and him having similar likes.
Example: I love eating mangos. I can eat them all day and that’s what I bought when we bought snacks at the park. He told me my bio mom was obsessed with mangos seven before she got pregnant, while pregnant she craved it even more.
Just cool info to know even if it’s random stuff lol. It’s still stuff we have in common and we both have lots. Both like hiking, playing pool, he was a swimmer in college and I was on a swim team in highschool, both love rock music. Especially 90’s. My bio dad was really open about sharing everything. Like he really was getting ready for this meeting. He hoped it would happen and he prayed everyday to see me again because he had so many things he wanted to tell me. Overall really good first meeting. I’m glad how it went. He’s open to the idea of meeting my parents. After I told them about all this because they definitely want to meet my bio parents again if I’m comfortable with that, obviously if my bio parents are too. Let’s see when that happens. Idk how it’s gonna feel for me. They’ve met eachother before I was even born but I never had them at the same place so that’ll be interesting lol.
Me and my parents met up yesterday to have breakfast so I could tell them everything. My mom was so happy how it went. She actually cried too whne i was telling them about both their reactions. My dad was proud because he knew how hard it was the months after finding my bio mom and not really wanting to make contact yet. I’m really happy to have their support because it’s hard not to feel guilty about wanting to know more my bio parents. They gave me a really good life so for a while it’s felt like maybe to them I’m showing them that wasn’t good enough for me and I’d rather have my bio parents. But they told me many times they want me to do this for me and the know how much I love them. And I really do.
Finding them and meeting them was hard. But it was so worth it to me. And seeing their reactions made it feel even more worth it. Still can’t believe it sometimes.
I’m just realizing this has turned into a long post, my bad haha. Writing this has been therapeutic tbh. Kind of thinking back to everything that’s happened. Feeling really grateful. Again wanna say thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me. Everyone who sent me their own stories, their love, their encouragement. You guys have beautiful hearts and I’m happy I had somewhere to talk about all this and receive so much love back! Just wanna say to all the adopted kids out there, i wish you guys luck and that you find what you’re looking for. It’s not easy at all. I feel fortunate that things didn’t go badly or that my bio parents aren’t bad people. And to all the birth parents out there who made this sacrifice, thank you 🙏🏻 🙏🏻🙏🏻It’s because of you there are kids out there like me who got to have a great life with loving parents ❤️
Big yikes. They don’t agree and go no contact on their child, even going as far as to block her on most means to get in touch. “Aight immah throw away my child cause I don’t agree with a decision they made”. Insane.
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