Target acquired
ColeSloth, Shoooot. Just frodo walking out of the shire is the length of the one on the right.
jayrodtheoldbod, He just kills Tom Bombadil and then throws the rifle away, doesn’t like the smell.
jenny_ball, 
loll this is also what i think if they just used the eagles logically
EmperorHenry, 
He’s going to need ear protection too, otherwise half the reason for him being helpful, his extremely good hearing, isn’t going to last long.
Zink, Yeah but with the ancient elvish magic and longevity and blah blah and wave of the hands annnd his ears are fine!
EmperorHenry, maybe
SkabySkalywag, So did he shoot a bunch of songs and pages of description too?.. Cool, cool I mean I’d pay to see Tom Bombadil got shot in the dick …
Pharmacokinetics, 
Lord of the rings, but Gimli has a nuke
Kolanaki, (edited ) 
Gimli: levels the entire region of Mordor
Legolas: That only counts as one.
BilboBargains, He called his house Legoland
DogWater, Reminds me of the sniper in saving Private Ryan.
Put me within 1 mile of the furer, you can pack it up boys, wars over, we going home
Or something like that
Fedizen, Lord of the rings but the giant eagles are stealth bombers.
Zink, There must be room in the world for a high budget “Mordor vs USA” parody movie.
Or maybe a 30 second comedy video.
Swedneck, 
lord of the rings but gandalf has a trebuchet and mt. doom is within 300m
MacNCheezus, (edited ) 
Lord of the Rings but Frodo has an assault rifle.
https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/af82f125-eca5-4433-b83a-a589ea8b6145.jpeg
Wogi, I’m kinda sad it’s a normal size rifle. He’s a Hobbit it should be huge
Swedneck, it was specially comissioned
MissJinx, 
Frodo is a little bitch, give it to Sam
MacNCheezus, (edited ) Lord of the Rings but Sam has an assault rifle… and an armored SUV
https://lemmy.today/pictrs/image/1a6984f9-310f-4c0f-b293-8181b238585d.jpeg
Sotuanduso,
- They can outrun the black riders.
- The black riders alert the witch-king.
- They can’t outrun the fellbeast.
So yeah, pretty short. But if they are able to maintain stealth, then:
- They get stopped at Caradhras by bad weather anyways.
- They go through Rohan instead of Moria (otherwise they’d have to abandon the SUV or be very dangerous.)
- They outrun any of the cavalry that might try to stop them.
- They get through Minas Tirith months before the battle, no biggie.
- They get stumped at the Black Gate.
ArcaneSlime,
- They call in Gandalf in his A10 Thunderbolt II (because the eagles didn’t have a 30mm GAU-8 Avenger). Drops a paveway on the Black Gate and dumps 1,174 30mm slugs and a few clusters of hydra 70mm rockets into the horde.
Swedneck, (edited ) armored cars really only make sense for open areas, what they should have is 6-wheeled ATVs like finnish military messengers have.
MissJinx, I would watch this movie!
ICastFist, 
“Time to TRIM and MOW DOWN Mordor’s orcish hordes!” - Samwise “The Gardener” Gamgee
Shapillon, Frodo is the sentient equivalent of tying the ring to a snail.
Jokes aside he is supposed to be exceptionally resilient to its corruption.
ICastFist, ONE SHOT TWO KILLS MOTHERFUCKER!
EvilEyedPanda,
Abnorc, Elves have standards.
Be polite.
Be efficient.
Have a plan to kill every orc you meet.
creditCrazy, 
My party does not care for me at all.
I’m an assassin not a crazed elf.
What’s the difference. Well ones a job and the other is a mental sickness.
Gibliy put frodo on the communication spell.
Annoyed_Crabby, He shoot his arrow faster than he can reload a sniper rifle, and he took down a freaking giant elephant with a freaking bow and arrow! Recoil will just slow him down.
And he mostly have to deal with load of uruks, an assault rifle will be better for him.
MacNCheezus, Username checks out
Winb00m,
Akasazh, 
Bravo
caseyweederman, Like he and Merry wouldn’t have set it off in the Shire out of curiosity
hglman, Its bc Pipen is also the President of the United States
nilloc, 9/10 Pippin needs a pair of those nuclear test goggles.
creditCrazy, Lord of the nuclear weapons race.
ICastFist, That fool of a Took would nuke Gondor by accident
Potatos_are_not_friends, (edited ) I think it’s really stupid that Gandalf didn’t just super Saiyan every obstacle like is he stupid?
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