Pushovers
Semi-Hemi-Demigod, 
With a sharp knife and proper technique you can avoid the tears.
Plus you don't have to wear gloves like when you're slicing chilis.
SuckMyWang, I wear gloves when slicing chillies for aesthetic reasons only
TheFriendlyDickhead, The only reason I slice chilis is because I crave the pain when I rub my eyes.
Semi-Hemi-Demigod, Try rubbing your genitals next time. That's super fun.
JusticeForPorygon, 
Habanero face mask
Viking_Hippie, I was in a jazz fusion band called Habanero Face Mask. We were awful.
Anticorp, Yup. Just cut the root off before you start slicing the onion and there’s no tears.
JoMiran, (edited ) 
A hot pepper will haunt you from the grave when, some time later, you scratch your eye or decide to rub one off.
thefartographer, Why would you rub your eye off?
Also, Buc-ee’s ghost pepper jerky is my addiction.
LillyPip, Kinky.
littlebluespark, 
Out*
If you’re rubbing it off, please seek medical attention.
Viking_Hippie, On the other hand, “rub one out” is slang for a COMPLETELY different activity…
littlebluespark, whoosh
Kase, I’m glad they said it tho, I didn’t understand before reading their comment lol
littlebluespark, You didn’t understand that the comment they’re replying to (mine) implicitly states exactly that same slang term? Um.
Kase, No lol I’d just never heard the term ‘rub one out’ before. Their comment made me realize what it meant
littlebluespark, Fair. 🤷🏼♂️🤪
DEngineer, Don’t kink shame.
littlebluespark, That’s one terminal kink: removal of one’s genitalia by vigorous friction? 🥹
Catoblepas, Pineapple: am I a joke to you?
undercrust, The only fruit that’ll eat you back
afraid_of_zombies, Durian can get you in trouble with law enforcement in some parts of the world.
Sacreblew, (edited ) Grapefruit can put up a bit of a fight.
Voyajer, 
Shout out to elderberries which are cyanogenic and pawpaw fruit which contains a neurotoxin.
Kolanaki, 
cyanogenic
They turn you blue?! 😱
hsr, 
No, that’s cyan. Cyanogenic is an open-source mobile operating system used as an alternative to Android.
peopleproblems, No, that’s cyanogenmod, Cyanogenic is when you go into a cold storage unit meant to preserve your life.
SoonaPaana, No that’s cryogenic. Cyanogenic is the small capsule that spies bite on when they are captured so that they can die quickly.
seliaste, 
No that’s Cyanure. Cyanogenic is when your genes grow yellow hair and get all angry and super warriors or something
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot, Actually it’s cryonic. Cryogenic is when you cool things to the point where they become superconductors. Pop culture often gets this wrong.
attofreak, it’s nice to see elderberries have a hobby at their advanced age 😊
Viking_Hippie, (edited ) Maybe that’s what happened to Eiffel 65 or that moon Elvis was singing about!
MadBob, There’s a vegetable called the black salsify, which has a number of nicknames in different languages alluding to how much of a mess it makes when you cut it.
FeelzGoodMan420, Uh…chili peppers?
afraid_of_zombies, Meanwhile durian oozes into the room and onions suddenly wants to die of shame.
profoundninja, If durian was so scary, why is their meat delicious.
afraid_of_zombies, https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/34c89115-f4f8-4f97-9c36-8b9dafda86a8.jpeg
At a hotel I stayed in this summer
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