And that's why you shouldn't pirate kids.
Im scared of the staplegunman
fjordbasa, Why would I pirate kids?
captain_aggravated, 
I emphatically would NOT download a child.
weeahnn, 
They have small hands, good for fitting into pockets. Turn them into little pickpockets.
DebatableRaccoon, Not to mention they fit into crawl spaces so much easier than adults too. The possibilities are endless.
Restaldt, (edited ) My chimney has never been swept
Because of child labor laws? Or because i dont have a chimney.
You decide
jjagaimo, I prefer to pirate adults
Crackhappy, 
Lenny pirate your butt
rostby, Gimme yur booty
rostby, I mean treasure ya know
Oka, Cause they cost too much to commit right away. If you dont like what you got, either you go through the hassle of trying to get a refund, or if you pirated it, you just get rid of it.
Sharpiemarker, Can’t even give them away
Karlos_Cantana, 
And if you drive them blindfolded to another state and drop them off in the middle of nowhere, you go to jail. It's a no win scenario.
moreeni, And that’s why you need punctuation kids.
floofloof, I do use those but, they keep putting commas in all the wrong places.
LocustOfControl, Unless you want engagement! 90% of these comments are about the missing comma.
Xylight, 
you wouldn’t download a child
linearchaos, 
Oh Jesus no. I have enough of those.
Davel23, You wouldn't download a kid.
occhineri, You haven’t tried carrying them out for 9 months and giving birth under devastating pain, have you?
Deceptichum, 
I wish.
vasco, I am sure someday you will be an amazing mother.
crowbar, Why someday? Why not now
vasco, cause it take some months
GrindingGears, It’s like a really slow download. Dial up speeds.
BitingChaos, 
I never knew that pirating kids was such a problem.
cupcakezealot, 
but orlando bloom needs a first mate
meldrik, (edited ) I illegally downloaded this video to my PeerTube instance. The guy is gonna come kick down my door, any minute now.
MakerThe11, Careful he gonna scream at you with eldritch language
ArugulaZ, 
Pirated kids are never as good as the originals.
MakerThe11, All the comments are just pure gold.
sndmn, I don’t want kids, pirated or not.
DeathWearsANecktie, The kid from this video sadly took his own life last year. He will forever be a part of internet royalty for this legendary video!
RIP Brett
MakerThe11, F
bigboopballs, y he do dis
bartleby1, “staplegunmans” are definitely my personal worst nightmare as well
BluJay320, 
Isn’t that just called kidnapping?
abbadon420, The production value is better than GOT season 7
sagrotan, 
Could be misunderstood, here’s a comma for you: " , "
killeronthecorner, 
And that’s why you shouldn’t, pirate kids!
Gregorech, That’s why you, shouldn’t pirate kids!
shasta, Back to your room, Shatner
ElBarto, (edited ) 
Don’t people buy kids off the black market anymore? You gotta support your local black market!
showmustgo, 
You wouldn’t download a kid
radioactiveradio, No they’re free to take. Live on the street abandoned by the parents and country. Forced to exist against their will. Take one home, no one cares.
echodot, Not a boring kid, but a pirate kid sounds fun.
lukas, 
You wouldn’t download a fridge
Grandsinge, Yeah, not sure what I was expecting. Maybe a PSA about trafficking
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