Dukeofdummies,

I mean, in the era of VHS this won't work because ultimately you're fast forwarding and rewinding. So you're gonna watch it anyway. but in the digital era I thought this would be what any Police officer did?

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

funkless_eck,

my guy half of them don’t spend 10 minutes on a murder. There’s a reason it’s called detective fiction

Dukeofdummies,

I know but if they were smart they'd say they're gonna take an hour to do it, find the footage in 10 minutes and goof off another 50.

Pull a Scotty, then you're productive and lazy. It's just disappointing they can't even procrastinate properly. I feel bad.

SpaceNoodle,

if they were smart

I gotta stop you right there

Deceptichum,
@Deceptichum@kbin.social avatar

Like... they're not even gonna spend 10 minutes on a theft?

What and be responsible for paperwork?

Cops are the biggest bludges you’ll ever meet.

Localhorst86,

“Exactly my point. We will not be investing an hour looking at the footage to pinpoint the time of theft, now get out!”

Rolando,

Show up with a box of donuts.

“Hey, look what I got for us to eat while looking at that tape!”

“Oh, I don’t think those donuts will last more than ten minutes here!”

“No problem, I know a way that won’t take that long…”

HubertManne,
@HubertManne@kbin.social avatar

that dawn of humanity is only going to work if the rewind/fast forward is instantaneous.

kryptonianCodeMonkey, (edited )

Also, if I rewind to the Neolithic and I see a bunch of cavemen, sabertooth tigers and a Schwinn chained to a bike rack, I’m not going to just fast forward from there. I have other questions.

MagicShel,

I mean… You’re not gonna outrun that sabertooth on foot.

andioop,
lemmesay,
@lemmesay@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

image transcription:

Afterwards I found a chatroom thread among Cambridge computer scientists, one of whom had also been told that unless he could pin down the moment of theft no one would look at the footage. He said he had tried to explain sorting algorithms to police - he was a computer scientist, after all. You don’t watch the whole thing, he said. You use a binary search. You fast forward to halfway, see if the bike is there and, if it is, zoom to three quarters of the way through. But if it wasn’t there at the halfway mark, you rewind to a quarter of the way through. It’s very quick. In fact, he had pointed out, if the CCTV footage stretched back to the dawn of humanity it would probably have only taken an hour to find the moment of theft. This argument didn’t go down well.

rekabis, (edited )

“This argument didn’t go down well.”

🤣🤣🤣 LMAO

What an awesome punchline, should have been on its own line for more impact.

HiddenLayer5,
@HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml avatar

Pfft, didn’t even try to enhance the footage. They’re obviously not cut out for forensics work.

iAvicenna,
@iAvicenna@lemmy.world avatar

Oh yea this is how I managed to convince our building management company to identify bicycle thieves in our communal garage.

driving_crooner,
@driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br avatar

I used to do this when having problems while rendering video in my past life.

SameOldInternet,

This post just shows that the police rarely if ever review any video as this method would’ve been learned as a result of repeatedly reviewing video.

morrowind,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

That’s a search algorithm, not sorting

8000mark,

For anybody else looking for the source of this quote: archive.md/RyZI0

ooterness,

This post is horrifying, not funny.

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