ilinamorato,

You have Rust. (the knight in this panel looks very cool, wears sunglasses, and probably has a ponytail)

You’ve been told how easy it is to rescue the princess. Absolutely nothing will get in your way, they say; nobody can possibly get access to your plan, and you can even rescue multiple princesses simultaneously! (in this panel, the knight is imagining rescuing three princesses from three different castles at the same time)

You start working on your plan. It’s elegant and beautiful. You write articles on Medium to tell other knights how to rescue their princess. You tell everyone who will listen about your plan. You become a Rust zealot. You never rescue the princess. (In this panel, the knight is nowhere to be seen, and the princess looks bored in her tower. The knight is across the field, at a festival with the banner “RUSTCONF” flying overhead)

lseif,

yeah but memory safety tho

WaterWaiver,

Yeah not one mention of “I’ll never forget you Princess”

ilinamorato,

Great punch-up. I wish I’d thought of it.

wolo,

I’ll never std::mem::forget you…

akash_rawal, (edited )

You have rust.

You get a horse and arrive at the castle within seconds but the horse is too old and doesn’t work with the castle.

You remove the horse, destructure the castle and rescue the princess within seconds, but now you have no horse.

While you’re finding a compatible horse and thinking whether you should write your own horse, Bowser recaptures the princess and moves her to another castle.

Aceticon,

You use Assembly.

You describe each and every leg movement and each and every step to the castle and over the castle bridge and inside the castle.

You somehow end up in the castle kitchen.

sunbeam60, (edited )

Or more precisely. You end up in a dark room. You’re not sure it’s in the castle.

nilloc,

And the only way back is by counting every step you took on the way in, and if you miss one, the castle buries you.

mindbleach,

But if you’re right, you have the princess and return home before the guards are done drawing their swords.

kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E, (edited )

So let me summarise this:

Only C and Lisp actually completed the initial task of getting the princess free, and Author clearly favors C over the drooling and homeless lisp hacker. Also, turns out, C greatest weakness helped to save not only the princess but everything she ever possessed! How convenient!

Shareni, (edited )

Naah, C stabbed himself in both of his feet while planning. The rest of it is his dying mind hallucinating saving the princess.

Lisp is the true hero, but the author has parenthophobia

fruitycoder,

You have rust, you decide to rewrite the C plan but the only library that supports it uses unsafe code so you go back and rewrite it. Wait what were you working on?

mindbleach,

You have Perl.

%_=~aj/dy/hfiw8i/g;
$_/a(h0w8)y@;
FWA/E.*FW[tu29uy]/;
%(1)hjc/f4ifh38/y;

The princess is saved, but all you can think about is rescuing another, with an entirely different plan. Which is just as well because you have no fucking idea how to explain the one you just wrote and executed.

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