Captain’s Log. Stardate 23170.6
I have growing concerns about commander data’s new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.
Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge’s beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.
Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.
Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.
In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.
Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.
The closer your pelvis is to someone’s face, the more leadership they get. That’s what they taught at the Academy and that’s good enough for my pelvis.
Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.
When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process “getting a green card” on account of the new ID badge’s color.
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