Seraph,
@Seraph@kbin.social avatar

John Deere™ Tractor Beam

No you can't repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

The_Picard_Maneuver,

When they’re broken, it’s easier to just fire them out as projectiles.

negativenull,

Eject the Warp Core Tractor Beam -Shaxs

usualsuspect191,

Nothing beams like a Deere

teft,
@teft@startrek.website avatar

And there is only one repair shop per quadrant.

bappity, (edited )
@bappity@lemmy.world avatar

data turns around
“captain, did I execute humour successfully?”

The_Picard_Maneuver, (edited )

https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/23592463-89af-4829-a378-e0e11b994a74.jpeg

(I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard’s dumbfounded face too much)

NaibofTabr,

I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.

Thisfox,

He looks more like he is trying to puzzle out a confusing problem in his head.

bappity, (edited )
@bappity@lemmy.world avatar

Captain’s Log. Stardate 23170.6
I have growing concerns about commander data’s new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge’s beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.

The_Riker_Maneuver,

My stance is better in this one. More dynamic.

verity_kindle,
@verity_kindle@lemmy.world avatar

The closer your pelvis is to someone’s face, the more leadership they get. That’s what they taught at the Academy and that’s good enough for my pelvis.

The_Picard_Maneuver,

Indeed, number one.

tigeruppercut,

I believe you mean "successfully, you lunkhead "

bappity,
@bappity@lemmy.world avatar
MajorHavoc,

It’s perfect!

I’ve wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard “engage the tractor beam”.

Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn’t progressed that much since then anyway.

The_Picard_Maneuver,

I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.

teft,
@teft@startrek.website avatar

This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

ArcaneGadget,

Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to “jamming the radar”.

Starglasses,

It took me a good minute. Got a real good laugh!!

undeffeined,

Ahahhahahaa this is so silly, I love it

ininewcrow,
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

This is beautiful … this is what Risa is all about

Blackout,
@Blackout@startrek.website avatar

This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

The_Picard_Maneuver,

And don’t get me started on voice commands.

marcos,

Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.

NumbersCanBeFun,
@NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • agent_flounder,
    @agent_flounder@lemmy.world avatar

    Indeed.

    milkisklim,

    Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

    When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process “getting a green card” on account of the new ID badge’s color.

    stardust,

    Is beautiful! You scratched an itch I didn’t even know I had.

    CADmonkey, (edited )

    “Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota B5100 setting”

    Lydia_K,
    @Lydia_K@startrek.website avatar

    I love it!

    StillPaisleyCat,
    @StillPaisleyCat@startrek.website avatar

    Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

    https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/46711834-6076-43c1-b034-0cc36d0a4fbd.jpeg

    Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

    verity_kindle,
    @verity_kindle@lemmy.world avatar

    Yea boi

    Wizarded,

    Technically correct

    KnightontheSun,

    Well, they can’t all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.

    The_Picard_Maneuver,

    I unfortunately can’t change who I am.

    KnightontheSun,

    Nothing unfortunate about it.

    You. We like you.

    verity_kindle,
    @verity_kindle@lemmy.world avatar

    Warp 9 to Planet Kubota, there are ripe right-to-repair maidens to be rescued!

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