Tf? Politics are currently pretty difficult and I am spending way to much of my time discussing it. Excuse me for just wanting to see a few bad memes on a meme sub and not slide into the next discussion. I don’t even know what to answer to bullshit like this. You know what also was “literal nazi talking point”? Food. Sex. Drugs. After all they are still human and a human is defined by more than just their ideology.
Dude’s obviously mentally unstable and probably a pedophile. It takes a special type of person to shoehorn “child sex trafficking” and multiple references of “jerking off” into a discussion about media server software.
I read the original two trilogies in the 80s so I’ve forgotten some bits, but what were the things that would be problematic today? I don’t think I remember any details relating to the above. Lessa is always one of the first people I think of when someone says “so and so was the first strong woman in scifi” and it’s a character that came 30+ years later.
So, when the books were originally published, it actually was pretty feminist/forward-thinking that Lessa got to lead Benden Weyr as an equal partner, and she’s the one that saved Pern, and she’s the heroine who gets songs sung about her. Sure, F’lar “saved” her by slaying Fax and bringing her to Benden, but she mind-manipulated him into it so it was really her using him as her tool, and then she went on to save the WORLD all on her own. And that was all pretty forward-thinking, when most SFF of the era had ladies being damsels in distress, or running around in chainmail bikinis.
The bits that haven’t aged well today is how Anne McCaffrey writes romance. Basically, back when the books were written, there was this cultural trope that “good” women didn’t want sex. Like, even if the main gal obviously wanted the romantic lead, you had to put up a show of resisting, of saying no, for some dramatic tension or something, because if you said yes too quickly you were a slutty slut just slutting around or the like. Good girls don’t say yes, even to the people they want, too quickly. And it was “romantic” for the man to be pushy and not take no for an answer.
So McCaffrey has a lot of her lead men “ravishing” their partners in some way after the female resists or says no, which reads as really rapey with today’s understanding of sex and consent. F’lar grabs and shakes Lessa physically at times (I don’t recall if he outright hits her at all or not–he might, once or twice. I’d have to re-read). And Jaxom basically rapes Corana–she says no, but he’s just so horned up by dragons and goes ahead anyway, and the whole scene seems to be some attempt by the author to “show” that Jaxom is as virile a lead as any other dragonman, even if Ruth is asexual. It reads as if she were afraid Ruth not being a bronze would make people doubt Jaxom’s manhood or something, so she writes a scene to supposedly “prove” it.
And then the dragonlust thing during mating flights initially suggests between the lines the queen rider is going to have sex with the bronzerider whose dragon catches her queen, whether she wants to or not. “Aliens made us do it” is totally an old-school SFF trope especially any time a human or alien is telepathic, but again, in modern eyes it’s super-rapey since consent and being able to say no is important.
McCaffrey rolled the rapey sort of thing back in later Pern books as social mores changed going into the 90s–but the books written in the 60s and 70s mostly didn’t age great when it came to romance/sex. So there’s inconsistencies between the Pern portrayed in the early Pern books, vs. the ones written before her death in the 2000s, with the early Pern having some of the “heros” doing kinda awful things, and the later ones sort of forgetting or erasing that.
I don’t think it’d be going against the spirit of the books to update the mores here, though, for a modern audience. Anne McCaffrey was obviously trying to be forward-thinking with certain things, and it’s honestly really hard to be ahead of your time when it comes to the social/cultural stuff, esp. in the pre-internet era.
Personally, if I were to update Pern for a modern audience, I’d keep some of the dragon mating stuff, like I’d purposefully keep some of the huge downsides of being telepathically bonded to a mind that is not fully human and which can cause a human to act in inhuman ways when the dragon gets over-emotional. Mostly so there can be this cultural tension between the Weyrs and the Holds so that the Oldtimer storylines work better. Dramatically-speaking, it’d be a great scene to watch a dragon get hurt–but it’s the dragonman howling and clutching his eye or something, when he clearly isn’t bleeding at all and is getting feedback from his dragon. (Or, dragonwoman…I think I’m recalling Brekke right there.) And there’d be a huge contrast between the weyrs who have fluid relationships with other riders that start and stop on a whim, and the Holds that are very traditional and still do arranged marriages and such.
Also, if the Weyrs are seen as hotbeds of greed and depravity, it’ll be easier to take Pern through a story such as Dragonquest where the Holds and Halls start to rebel against the people who saved them from thread. The Oldtimer storylines from the books. Cultural friction, where the planet’s heroes also act in ways that are strange and different to ordinary men and women, and a way to play with modern cultural concerns too.
But I’d do away with things like the Jaxom and Corana plotline because there’s tons of other ways to make Jaxom an appealing lead character that don’t involve the future Lord of Ruatha Hold abusing his power over a peasant girl. I don’t think a modern audience would consider Jaxom weak or feminine just because Ruth is ace/nonbinary. In fact, him having a possibly nonbinary dragon might be a super-interesting story to follow. ::shrug::
Disagree. There’s far too many rapes and weird sex shit in those. There’s the whole BDSM torture in the first book, the MC is a product of rape, the second book has some form of demon beastiality ritual. The way kalan loses her virginity (thinks it’s her bf evil brother and she is really not into it at all and her bf is offended at her because she thought she was being rapes be his brother)
Then there’s big bad conqueror who forces a woman to suck his dick while in a meeting, then there’s kalans sister who’s a queen who gets literally thrown into a pit with a dozen men who proceed to rape her to the point that she’s permanently traumatized.
Literally no economic system or political science yet has managed to prevent the internalised drive for familicide or authoritarian violence funnily enough, one can only hope that rationality prevails over bad thoughts, but not on the basis of civilization or self preservation, but through the collective conscience of humanity coming to understand how best to maximize the available entropy and energy within society to produce the most jobs, the most utility, the most potential sex, the most systems of funding and all other human desires.
Consider thot the US is a very rich democracy yet has many school shootings, Saudi Arabia has had to deal with corrupt funding of terrorists, China uses AI to bait people into crime and arrests people on false charges and then plays catch and release while Israel funds Hamas, imports overseas Jews and then exports violent “settlers” into the Palestinian borders.
Consider that even millionaire dictators who go on holiday will occasionally commit mass genocide. All of these bad things… Are not going to disappear because of capitalism, but we can at least say that they would become more foreseeable and preventable in a world where we have movies or stories that discuss our present these monstrosities to light
I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I’ve been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It’s a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We’re all genuinely happy and satisfied. I’m kind of casually looking for a...
I’ve been with my wife and girlfriend for about 4.5 years. Gf has been married for longer.
Polyamory attracts trainwrecks and hands them a ton of rope which they promptly hang themselves with. We hear about them a lot because they’re loudly collapsing all the time.
We don’t hear about our types because what are we going to do, loudly announce stable long term relationships? Because I am judged as one of those people or a slut or a player or something I’m hesitant to loudly profess my polyamory. My coworkers don’t know that one day a week I don’t go to my regular home when I leave but to my girlfriend’s home where I hang out with her and her kids (whom I’ve been a stable adult fixture in their lives for years) until her husband wakes up for work when I either take her out to dinner, or get some alone time as he watches the kids, or he’s just there hanging out with us, then rather than it being an absolute fuckfest, we either have “I have work in the morning” sex, curl up watching tv, chat alone, or increasingly often chat with her kids because they’ve been needing more attention lately before going to bed. Then the next day I go to work from there. And they also don’t know that that evening my wife is glad that I was there because it’s good for me and she needs some alone time on a regular basis because while she loves me very much I’m a high energy extrovert and she’s a low energy introvert.
Hell my family is uncomfortable with my polyamory except my sister. They can accept that I’m gay and love my wife, but they don’t talk about my girlfriend and are clearly uncomfortable when I talk about her. So I shy away from it. And I don’t go to poly events because they’re full of train wrecks. I don’t filter through partners. I’ve never even had a romantic relationship that was under a year long.
And yeah I’ve had my drama. Casual sex has gone weird. My ex was actually monogamous but she started a triad because I wanted polyamory and that went just terribly. But also I was in my early 20s, similar situations for monogamous relationships aren’t blamed on monogamy but on dumb 20 somethings.
But yeah I’m happy and stable. And I know my wife, gf, and meta would all agree that’s our situation
Poly was actually my wife’s idea for many of the reasons you list above. It’s not just sex though, my wife is also not a touchy feely person, and I am, as she calls me, a cuddle monster. Thankfully we are good at communicating and deeply love each other, and so were able to navigate all of this without arguing, yelling, etc…
Wife isn’t really looking because she is graysexual and doesn’t really want any additional deep emotional connections
This kinda describes my wife’s boyfriend’s wife. (That was just fun to type out) Basically, because of the place and way she was raised, she didn’t understand that she was ace until she had two kids, and her sex life continued to exist. She was/is more or less done with that part of her life. She has two kids and a husband and a home, and that’s why she was having sex to begin with. As long as she has those things, she doesn’t care that her husband does things she does not enjoy with some other women. She’s happy with the way her life is. Plz don’t make her add sex back into the equation.
Married 13 yrs as of the end of October. We’ve played with others, and have standing permission to “get things going,” but I find the wedding ring to (understandably) be a turnoff. My personal preferences mean that it’s difficult to meet people I’m interested in and who are likely to believe any reasonable explanation for ‘even though I’m wearing a ring, we are all on the same page.’
It is by definition much easier for my wife / both of us, to find a man who is both interested and dealing in good faith than for me to approach a woman successfully.
I don’t harbor any jealousy or concern with regards to my wife, she simply has an easier time with it. One can blame that on the lies that cheating men have told over many centuries, I’m sure.
I’ve encountered a number of women in whom I’d be interested, but… I refuse to take my ring off just to have a chance at meeting someone. Not just because “reasons” and “ethics,” but also because I know for a fact that up-front disclosure is the better path.
“No, I wasn’t wearing a ring when I met you, but I’m married,” is not the way to start off a poly relationship from where I sit. It is, however, an excellent way to scare off the folks who are open to the same.
Neither of us is looking for threesomes per se, and neither of us is willing to dissemble and then later ask forgiveness of the third party.
Haven’t posted all that much on the topic, so… Fuckit. We’ve been married for almost fifteen years. We found a play partner around the five-year mark. That lasted as long as it lasted, and was a great deal of fun - both in person and via internet, subject to collective needs. That person could have handled things better, and I could have handled their less than ideal behavior better. I own my part, there. It wasn’t intended to be long term, and that’s fine - it introduced us to both the lifestyle and the risks, and I am cognizant of what I did right and what I did wrong at the tine.
We’re in a more liberal town than where we spent much of our marriage, but it’s still tough to meet people. Some of that is due to my WFH arrangement, as I don’t get out as much as ‘normal’ folks, but I would absolutely not sleep with someone I worked with anyway - I’m a professional, it has the potential to get really ugly, and could very well ruin my reputation.
Dating sites have proven unhelpful, though much of that was while living in “Kettlecorn, KS” where my wife grew up. Trying to do this in the midwest is ‘hard mode’ to say the least.
I’m not even looking for women a fraction of my age (and I’m not that damn old to begin with), but any introduction brings with it the risk of judgement / ‘If you weren’t married…’
I consider it a damn shame that consensual poly is not more mainstream - people will meet people, and have chemistry, and have sex as a result. Advance consent, in whatever form the couple finds appropriate, prevents literally all of the unpleasantness, feelings of betrayal, etc.
Not an expert at this stuff, but also fairly sure my experience is not incredibly outside the norm.
I’ve had next to no luck with the dating apps. I think the longest relationship I got out of them was 2 months, and the majority of conversations ended before ever meeting. The dating app world doesn’t seem to accommodate my kind of person, where I want to get to know a person before we bed each other. It seemed like every match wanted to have a single date that ended in sex. Fuck that.
If it’s a drama/ romantic comedy, I want to know about their relationship. If it’s an action movie or strictly a comedy, God damn, I hate any “isn’t this sexy”/ “lol sex, they like butt stuff”. Why do they make everyone gay, horny? It plays into the stereotype, that we’re “sexual deviants”.
I absolutely love flying dreams, not for the actual flying, but because I always use my skill to get out of bad/unwanted situations. I’ll be in a foot chase and I’ll just zing off into the sky. I’m also the only one who can fly, so I show off a lot.
The ones where I have a "boyfriend’. Like… I don’t even know if this character is my bf. Sometimes it’s a faceless character, sometimes it’s just one of friends… Whatever it is, we have sex, cuddle n stuff. It feels rlly nice!
I think it was just the idea of this friar watching mice fuck seemed pornographic in a way. I don’t think maintaining mice colony was the issue, it was the sex.
An early story meeting about this episode was attended by Patrick Barry, Gene Roddenberry, and Herbert J. Wright. Wright was wary that the concept of a matriarchal society had been too overdone. “So one of the major issues that we didn’t want to do was an Amazon Women kind of thing where the women are six feet tall with steel D cups,” he recalled. “I said, ‘The hit I want to take on this is apartheid, so that the men are treated as though they are blacks of South Africa. Make it political. Sexual overtones, yes, but political.’ Well, that didn’t last very long. Everything that Gene got involved with had to have sex in it. It’s so perverse that it’s hard to believe. The places it was dragged into is absurd. We were talking about how women would react, and Gene was voicing all the right words again, saying, ‘Oh, yes, we’ve got to make sure that women are represented fairly, because, after all, women are probably the superior sex anyway, and it’s real important we don’t get letters from feminists, because we want to be fair and we don’t want to infer that women have to rule by force if they do rule, because men don’t have to rule by force.’ Very sensible stuff. All of a sudden something kicks in and he changes: ‘However, we also don’t want to infer that it would be a better society if women ruled.’” His voice becoming increasingly louder, Roddenberry continued that this was because women were untrustworthy, “vicious creatures,” which he angrily blurted out in a torrent of hateful verbiage. Concluded Wright, “Then he looks out the window, looks at the outline, and says, ‘Okay, on page eight…’ and continues like that didn’t even happen.” (The Fifty-Year Mission: The Next 25 Years, p. 83)
Not showing nudity, sex or women objectification doesn’t make a show for kids or/and tame. Sprited away and princess mononoke have quite a lot of body horror and gore. The use of such scenes need to have a purpose and not be there for the sake of having an adult rating, horny bait/ fan service but that’s the case of most depictions and this is what I am complaining about. Let’s take for exemple another ghibli movie : the wind rises. In the movie, the woman flirt with her husband and sex is alluded. The scene serves a purpose in story and feels natural, it isn’t forced into the viewer, feels very awkward or objectify the women.
Heck, you could have an adult show that have no swearing at all so that when a character drop the f bomb during a scene you know he’s really pissed.
One time I invited a girl over to watch a movie and she got mad at me because apparently that’s what guys say when they want sex? I just wanted to watch a movie…
The worst part was realizing how disappointed all those other girls will did come over and watch movies with me must have been.
Communist Filth/Capitalist Filth (lemmy.ml)
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What's a sci-fi or fantasy book or series that you want to see adapted as a movie/television series?
I didn’t read this series when I was a kid, but I finally got around to reading Roger Zelazny’s Chronicles of Amber....
Never has never will (lemmy.ml)
What are your experiences with polyamory, first or second hand?
I personally am in a phenomenally stable polyamorous relationship. I’ve been married to my wife for 12 years, and she has had the same boyfriend for about half of that time. It’s a really fulfilling arrangement for all of us in various ways. We’re all genuinely happy and satisfied. I’m kind of casually looking for a...
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Birding is Voyeurism. (mander.xyz)
What's your favorite thing to dream about?
I absolutely love flying dreams, not for the actual flying, but because I always use my skill to get out of bad/unwanted situations. I’ll be in a foot chase and I’ll just zing off into the sky. I’m also the only one who can fly, so I show off a lot.
peas nutz (mander.xyz)
EXPECTING [OC] (feddit.nl)
cross-posted from: feddit.nl/post/6170220...
Boy howdy! (lemmy.ml)
18+ Is Riker still sexy out of uniform? (startrek.website)
I got a big surprise coming for Risa later this week ;) stay sexy!
🥵🥵🥵 (ani.social)
Everyone's piling on Rick Berman now? (lemmy.world)
Doubt. (lemmy.zip)